No Harm Done
by WhoYouReallyAre
Summary: Casualty- Set in Series 4 a behind the scenes look at Duffy & Andrew featuring Charlie, Megan, Ash, Lucy etc,
1. Chapter 1

**No Harm Done**

 **Set- Beginning of Series 4. Around episode 3.**

 **Age-15.**

 **Chapter One.**

 _She'd been so bloody tired lately but then she'd only just been promoted and it was safe to say she was finding it a lot harder than she'd expected it to be. Charlie made it seem so easy. How she didn't know. There was so much to think about and far too many people to consider. Her head was constantly going and sometimes she had to admit it got to her too much and the junior staff bared the brunt of it. She didn't mean it but then she had a strict Sister whilst training and as horrible as it was at the time she understood now and she did teach her quick. But at least she had someone to take her mind off it all. She knew she was just seeing Andrew so much to distract herself. It wasn't a serious relationship by any means and both of them knew that. It wasn't going to go anywhere but it was fun and it took both their minds off the huge stresses they were under. What harm would it do? They both could do with some fun._

 _Poking at the sleeping body lying beside him he smiles. He knew she was awake, had been for a while as had he but neither had made any effort to get up. But sadly if they didn't soon they would be late for work and worse still this woman was a nightmare to get up. Screwing up her face she moans, it couldn't be time to get up already! Plus she really didn't feel like it. Her body felt heavy as if she'd only just gone to bed._

" _Lisa. Lisa come on. We'll be late." Turning over in the bed she smiles up at him as he climbs out the bed and heads to the bathroom. She shrugs, not moving any further._

" _So?"_

" _So? That would look_ _ **very**_ _bad for the sister roll in late." Moving back into the bedroom he begins to change as she still lies there, giggling at him in response. Obviously not intending to move at all._

" _Well. I don't know if you noticed but I don't follow the rules" She turns once more, lying flat on her back again, shutting her eyes._

" _Sister Duffin I_ _ **will**_ _make you get out of bed!"_

" _Like to see you try Dr Bower!"Her eyes open once more lighting up as she raises his eyebrows at him expecting him to continue to get ready for work or make a smart comment._

" _Your going to regret saying that!" Laughing in response only encourages him. Walking forward, only half dressed, he flings the covers on the floor._

" _Up!"_

" _Nope!" Bending down, shaking his head, he places his arms around her small waist as he lifts her out the bed. Screaming at him her laughter betrays her as she attempts to hit him whilst holding onto him for dear life._

" _Andrew! Put me down!"_

" _I told you I'd make you get out of bed." Kissing her softly he smiles and lets her down. "Now. Get ready for work madam!"_

" _You can go off people quickly you know?"_

 _Winking at her he smiles. "So I'm told. Now move it!"_

 _She'd been at work a while now but she was there in body only. Her mind was counting dates over and over again hoping to be proved wrong. But each time she came to the same result. Luckily she'd manage to hide the fact she wasn't concentrating on work in the slightest. To make matters worse Andrew seemed to have been in the department her whole shift. Deep down she wanted to just sit and talk to someone that or cry but she didn't dare think it never mind say it out loud. Jumping on feeling two hands on her shoulders she hadn't heard anyone behind her._

" _What are you trying to do me?!" Glaring she shook her head at the laughing man at her side._

" _Sorry Duffy. You just seemed to be lost there." He fails to hide his amusement as she desperately hunts her mind to for a lie to sell to him._

" _Just trying to decide to do about Mr Watson." Swinging around in her chair she nearly sighed with relief as she noticed he bought it._

" _Call social. That's all we can do."_

" _I know Charlie. It just doesn't seem like a lot does it?"_

" _No sadly not. But it's all we can do. Come on your well overdue a brake and your nearly finished." She simply nods, knowing he was right but then she wouldn't have an excuse to do what she knew she had to. Luckily Andrew seemed to be on another department for the time being. At last. Rising from her chair a mixture of nerves and nausea overcame her. This cannot be happening. She smiles weakly to Charlie before heading to the ladies loo's, a pregnancy test already in her pocket._

 _Still in the loo's her legs buckled under as her eyes locked on the result. This could not be happening. Her hands grasped onto the sinks for support. She was a nurse! Why the hell didn't she know better? So many questions started racing through her mind and her tears seemed to be racing just as fast. Trying to pull herself together in fear of someone coming in. Grabbing the test she throws it in the bin not having a clue what to do or what to tell Andrew if she told him at all that was. Wiping her red eyes she forces herself to go back out. People were going to notice that she was missing. She had patients to see and help. Her own problems were just going to have to wait._

 _He couldn't say he noticed anything odd with her. She seemed to be her normal happy self. There was no warning. She was fine this morning, this afternoon and now this. One second he was about to catch a train and the next Lisa was tearfully telling him she was pregnant. Someone could have knocked him over with a feather, his eyes went wide and he couldn't help but ask if she was kidding._

" _Of course not! I'm not joking Andrew."_

" _Sorry Sorry. I'm just shocked."_

" _Your not the only one!"She sighs, turning her head away from him. Andrew was still just standing there, attempting to get his head straight._

" _When did you find out?"_

" _Just now. I have no idea what to think or do."_

" _I think it's great! Unexpected but great." Turning her head back she creases her face in confusion. Wasn't it the men that were supposed to freak out? She felt like she was having a man's reaction more than Andrew was. He walks to her and places his arms around her tightly. She stopped talking, not having a clue what to say to him anymore. She felt like she was drowning in confusion. This was not part of the plan and Andrews excited reaction was only making her all the more terrified._


	2. Chapter 2

p class="bbc_left"Chapter 2/p  
p class="bbc_left"br /span style="color: #280099;"emGlancing at his watch he sighs. He knew it wouldn't be long before he reached London and he had some explaining to do to his parents. He felt guilty leaving Lisa so soon after her announcement but she seemed keen to make sure he still went to London that night, adding that they could talk next week when they both had some time to think about it all. Plus he still wanted to go for that job interview. Why should Lisa's pregnancy hold back his career? Plus she seemed to understand been in the profession herself. He knew she was right about needing time and he also knew she needed more time to get her head round it than he did. Yes it was a shock but he always wanted kids not so soon maybe but it had happened and he didn't care about the timing anymore. He just hoped his parents were as keen as him. /em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;"emHe stayed silent, sipping on the tea in his hand, as he let his message sink in. All his mother managed was "What?" which was more than his dad had mustered together. He hadn't even mentioned Lisa before so it was safe to say this was unexpected and they hadn't heard the full story yet. But then he wasn't great at keeping his parents in the know about his love life as he rarely entered serious relationships. He didn't find it possible as he rarely stayed in one city very long before moving anywhere that benefited his career. His parents knew that and never seemed to bothered. Yes he would get the odd hint from his mother to settle down soon now that he was in his 30s but truthfully he just didn't worry about it. It would happen sometime. Having found his voice his father sits up slowly in his chair, his grey eyebrows creased in confusion. /em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emTell us about...Lisa?"/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emYes Lisa. She's the Sister of AE. She's from Holby. She has long strawberry blonde hair. I think I have a picture with me somewhere." Sitting up herself her face was full of worry. What was he playing at? Unable to keep her thoughts to herself much longer she voices her concern./em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emBut marriage Andrew? You could have only just met her!"/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emAh well I haven't told you the full story yet." Reaching into his pocket he takes out a photo of Duffy, taken a few weeks ago on one of their rare days off and passes it across to his parents. As he hunts for the picture his mothers face falls once more, before smiling as she looks at the photo./em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emWhat? What's the full story?" She couldn't help but study the photo. The woman was very pretty she understood why her son had fallen for her but still. They must of only known each other three odd months. It was like her son be on another planet most of the time but she didn't trust a woman as daft to get engaged so quickly. What was this women like? "She's very beautiful Andrew."/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;"emSmiling he attempts to think out what to tell them. "She is."/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emWhat is the full story Andrew?"/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emLisa is...Well she's pregnant."/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;"emShe didn't give a damn about people finding out. It wasn't on her list of worries and there was one hell of a list. Well. Most people finding out. She was however terrified to tell her mother. They didn't share a great relationship at the best of times. Most likely due to the both of them been far to stubborn for their own good and sharing completely different opinions on just about everything. Her mother was very religious, something Duffy didn't share any belief in, and this was not going to go down well at all. It was going to look very bad at her church, if she bothered to tell anyone. She wouldn't put it past her mother to not bother. If she'd been married she knew her mother would have been overjoyed at the prospect of a grandchild. It was only last month she asked her when she was going to stop focussing on her career and settle down. She'd rolled her eyes and calming explained that she wasn't in a relationship and it just wasn't on the cards right now. She knew trying to explain her casual relationship with Andrew wouldn't be accepted and she'd only just get a lecture. But she would have been better explaining it because now she had to face telling and she knew she'd bring up the fact she lied to her. Why the hell was she so stupid? But her mother wasn't the only person she didn't want to tell. The thought of telling Charlie and Megan for that matter filled her with dread. She just couldn't face it. She feared she'd let them and the department down. She'd only just been promoted. Curled up on the sofa she keeps glancing towards her phone, considering calling her mother but deciding against it each time. Her biggest worry, the one that was preventing her from sleeping, was Andrew. She barely knew the man! She knew all about his career but little about him. He was from London, didn't have any brothers or sisters and his parents still lived in London and that was about it. Worse still he knew even less about her. She'd never mentioned her mother or anything about herself at all. How could she trust this guy not to just run off when it got tough? How did she know he'd even come back from London? She knew he was going for a job interview and she didn't want to hold him back. Not that she thought anyone could hold back Andrew and his career. But the thought of committing to Andrew scared the life out of her just as much as the thought of been a single mother. Her head was swimming with conflicting fears so much so she just wanted to sit and cry. /em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;"emShe kept her eyes focussed on the dishes in front of her but her mind was one hundred percent on her son. He was a bloody doctor, brought up by two medical professionals, and was so stupid to get some nurse she didn't know bloody pregnant. She could strangle the idiot. Her husband seemed to take the news much better than she had. Turning round on hearing the footsteps behind her she sighs./em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emHi."/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emStill freaking out I take it?"/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emYes! He barely knows the women!"/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emI know. And Lisa barely knows him. I think she'll be freaking out more. Don't you?"/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emI guess."/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emWe just need to make sure he supports her. It takes two. I was thinking if he gets this job and they move down here or even if they stay in Holby we help them find a flat. Neither of them will have that much money most likely."/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emYes. Oh I didn't think of that. Yeah that's a good idea." Sighing once more she sits herself down at the kitchen table. "I know I told him I wanted him to settle down and that I wanted grand kids but not like this." /em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emLife is never how you plan it." Leaning against the doorway he smiles at his parents, not that they've noticed him just yet. He knew what they were talking about but asks anyway. Interested to see what they'd say./em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emWhat are you two talking about?"/em/spanbr /br /span style="color: #280099;""emNothing much, I'm off to watch my TV program. I'll leave you and your dad to talk." Smiling softly, and a bit falsely, she heads out the room to leave her son and husband to discuss help with a flat. The thought of sitting watching other dysfunctional families made her feel a little better, even if they were fictional. At least there wasn't anything else her son could throw at her. She hoped. /em/span/p 


	3. Chapter 3

_As of yet she still hadn't managed to tell anyone, bar Andrew of course, about the pregnancy. Feeling completely alone and more terrified than ever she was no closer to making a decision on Andrew, or anything else for that matter, than she was three days ago. It wasn't the baby she was struggling with the idea of but rather the child's father. It was such a huge jump! She'd never even moved in with a man never mind this! She had no idea what Andrew wanted or expected and there were too many possibilities for her to get her head round. This is not where she expected to find herself. Not at all! She had to admit she wasn't over Peters suicide, as much as she told herself and Charlie she was, she wasn't at all so another serious relationship was the last thing she needed or wanted. Peter was someone she really thought she could trust to be there, as much as she knew it wasn't his fault, but she'd been wrong and ended up feeling more pain than she ever expected to. It had knocked her trust levels to the ground and as much as it wasn't Andrews fault she was really struggling to trust him. She couldn't shake off that small voice pointing out how much more she knew about Peter than Andrew, the risk of getting hurt was so much higher. The more she thought about it the less she wanted to trust him. She had no real feelings for him, bar lust, she hadn't known him long enough to have any other feelings for him. Worse still she knew it wasn't her that would be hurting the most but their child. She knew what it felt like to have a dad that didn't want to be there and then just leave. Maybe it was easier for him not to be in the picture at all? She certainty wished her own father hadn't even been there. The pain of rejection was harder to deal with when it was someone you knew and loved rather than someone you'd just heard of. Sighing she forces herself of the chair in the darkened staffroom. She hadn't touched a drink never mind eaten anything in her brake, her morning sickness had started at full blast and boy did she know what women were complaining about. She must have used half her make-up to attempt to cover her green pallor this morning alone. The last thing she needed was suspicious glances all day. As she heads back out into admin her nausea seems to just get worse and worse. This was not going to be her day. Not long later her mountain of paperwork was just sitting there staring at her, she hadn't even attempted to start it. Her nausea didn't seem to be going anywhere fast and she knew she had to make a move on before it got worse. Taking a deep breath in she eventually picks up her pen and makes a start. Hoping no one would realise she'd spent most of the past two days in the office._

 _Fortunately for Duffy her recently strange behaviour had gone unnoticed to all...bar one. Turning her head slightly from where she was leaning to sign a form she glanced towards Duffy and Charlies office, she'd been in there ages and she hadn't failed to notice how distant she was never mind how pale she looked. Something was going on, something big, there had to be for Duffy to spend so much time hidden away and not keeping her eye on the student nurses. At first she thought the Sister had eventually softened but that didn't seemed likely. Not at all not just like that. It was a rare moment that she didn't catch every mistake they had made but today she hadn't been her near them, or yesterday for that matter. With Andrew currently away she didn't have his behaviour to go on so wasn't 100% sure what was really going on. But she certainty had a fair idea, most likely the same anyone would come to if they'd noticed. But luckily enough for Duffy everyone was so rushed in here most of the time no one had picked up on it. Placing the pen back down she heads towards the office and slowly walks inside._

" _Duffy?" Hearing the voice she couldn't help but roll her eyes, she couldn't be bothered right now. Yet she turns slightly in her chair and glances up at a staring Lucy. On seeing her stare she begins to rise slowly from her seat, assuming something is wrong._

" _Yes?" She couldn't help but try to figure out what was wrong, she looked worse than earlier. Her skin was tinted green and she held that look that she was just about to throw up. Hmm things were making more sense now._

" _Oh no need to move. I just wanted to make sure your alright." Her face creases in confusion at Lucy as she slowly, with as little movement as possible, sits back down._

" _Me? I'm fine. Just trying not to drown in all this paperwork." Attempting to smile she hopes that is all Lucy is fishing for, she didn't have the energy or the willpower to do much more._

" _You don't look very good." But sadly Lucy had a lot of willpower that Duffy was lacking. She folds her arms having just shut the door. Duffy sighs and raises her voice up a pitch, hoping to scare her off. She didn't need anyone at her right now._

" _Thanks a lot Lucy!" It wasn't working, she wasn't going anywhere. She couldn't help but fear she knew exactly what was wrong and as much as it scared her she had to admit it was better than Charlie or Megan guessing._

" _I meant you look ill."_

" _I'm fine. For gods sake Lucy. Drop it!"_

 _Her face crumbles, deep down wanting to tell someone to get her off her chest but still fearing admitting it at the same time. Then it would be true, then she'd really have to deal with it and come to some decision._

" _Please..."_

 _As Lucy walks closer to her she hides her face in her hands, cursing her tears. Kneeling down to Duffy's level she places her hands on the arms of the chair before slowly taking Duffy's hands into hers._

" _Duffy? Duffy look at me. Whatever is going on you can talk to me."_

 _She just wasn't ready for support. It was Andrew she needed support from and she couldn't help but regret her earlier choice of telling him to go. Trying to stop her tears she violently grabs her hands back out of Lucy's hold before quickly getting to her feet, a bit too quickly. Attempting to steady herself she can't stop herself irrationally shouting back._

" _No! I don't_ _ **want**_ _to talk. Not to you nor anyone!"_

 _Also quickly getting back to her feet the last thing she wanted to do was upset her but it seemed she done a great job of that. It was hardly surprising she was struggling to come to terms with the idea she just thought she could do with someone there. But obviously Duffy didn't want anyone, that or just wasn't ready for it._

" _Duffy I'm sorry. I just want to help."_

" _No you don't! You just want your gossip! Go on then! Go tell them I'm pregnant! It's what you want to! I don't care! Just leave me alone!" She was still desperately trying to stop her tears as she opened the office door once more, needing to be alone._

" _Duffy I really am sorry. I didn't want to upset you."_

" _Just get out._ _ **Please**_ _!"_

 _As she is left alone once more she can't help but almost fall against the office door, shutting her eyes as tightly as possibly at her tears escape as fast as they can._


	4. Chapter 4

p class="bbc_center" /p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;"emResting her head on her hand her mind kept going back to Lucy. She felt guilty for snapping at her yesterday, she barely gave the woman a chance before jumping to the conclusion that she just wanted the gossip. Not one person had looked at her or treated her any different so it was obvious no one knew. She hadn't told a soul as far as she could tell, she almost wished she had. Then maybe she wouldn't feel so guilty. /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;"emAs if on cue the staffroom door opens and Lucy strides in smiling, until she notices Duffy when her smile considerably shrinks. Glancing up Duffy takes a breath in before straightening herself in the chair. She knew she had to apologize, it was only fair./em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emLucy?" Turning her head from where she was making herself some much needed coffee she can't help but expect a fresh fight. She hadn't been in the best of moods today, Poor Alex was already in the bad books and she'd only just walked in the door./em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emYeah? You wanting some coffee?"/em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;"emScrewing up her face at the mere thought of coffee it was obvious she really couldn't stomach it. She'd thrown up enough this morning without adding coffee to her already sensitive stomach. /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emOh. No thanks. Lucy...Look I'm really sorry about yesterday." As Duffy glances at the time, worried about been too long on her brake, Lucy continues to make coffee obviously not that fussed. /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emDon't worry about it." She shrugs as Duffy slowly begins to rise out the chair she was curled up in, feeling heavily with exhaustion caused most likely by her over worrying. But she wasn't taking Lucy's quick answer seriously, she didn't understand. /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emNo. No. You offered me support and... and like I always do I throw it back. I'm sorry." Keeping her eyes on her, worried and still feeling awful about it, she heads to her locker. Lucy simply smiles and begins to drink her coffee, seemingly understanding it all. /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emIt's really okay Duffy. You've got a lot on your mind." She had to admit she didn't want people making excuses for her. She didn't care that she had a lot on her mind she shouldn't have been so bitchy. People should have to make excuses for her. It wasn't right! But to save further arguments she smiles weakly and nods, replying as she heads out the door...well until she has a sudden thought. /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emThank you Lucy..and this is just between us yes?." /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;""emYes, of course. Don't worry Duffy."/em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;"emNodding she could see the fear in the other woman's eyes before she left the staffroom, it was plain to see that Duffy was really struggling to get her head round it all. She didn't judge her for it either, for one thing she seemed to be very much on her own. Andrew was still in London and she had expected him to just go for the interview and be back. She really couldn't believe he'd seemed to be staying the whole planned week. Surely him and Duffy had a lot to discuss? Obviously he didn't see it that way. She only hoped he'd kept in contact with Duffy while he was there. /em/span/p  
p class="bbc_left"span style="color: #280099;"emSadly the truth was bar one quick phone call Duffy hadn't heard anything from Andrew. She got one quick call, before her shift this morning, to tell her the interview went brilliantly and he'd been offered the job, oh and he'd see her in three days. That was it, he was going off to celebrate with friends tonight and knew she was working days. No mention of the pregnancy and she didn't have the time or chance to bring it up anyway. She really wasn't sure this relationship was going to work out, or even if either of them wanted it too. She was getting a big insight to what life would be like with Andrew and she didn't like it. His career was obviously far more important that anything else right now and that is not what she wanted. She knew doctors were very career minded, they had to be, but this was taking it one step too far. It was almost as if he didn't care or as if it was planned. You'd think they were married. He seemed to just accepted it all while she was home freaking the hell out. But right now it wasn't Andrew she was thinking about, although her main concern did jump every few hours. Right now she couldn't help but worry about telling Charlie and Megan. Now Lucy knew it was on her mind more than before. What if they guessed in all? They did know her a hell of a lot better than Lucy did in all, or would that work in her favour? Did they just assume the pressure of work was getting to her? She didn't want to risk them finding out through guessing or someone but the thought of telling them filled her with dread. Worse still it shouldn't. She was pregnant, this was supposed to be a fantastic time but instead she was worried about every little aspect of the pregnancy. Her mind couldn't even process any further on right now. Having finished her shift some hours ago now she was sat curled up on her couch but as her thoughts overflow she screws up her face in some attempt to stop her tears once more. But like every other day this week it doesn't work. So instead she turns her head away with her eyes still shut giving in to her tears./em/span/p 


	5. Chapter 5

_Glancing into his office Andrew was stood in the corner, his eyes seemed confused, like he was lost. Hmm. Not like him. Not that he knew the man that well, he didn't think Duffy really did either. But as long as she was happy, that was what really matter, more so after everything she'd been through lately. Walking back towards the office door he did have a high suspicion Duffy would have had something to do with whatever was up with Andrew. She had been acting a bit odd lately but then he did struggle to understand that woman sometimes. He slowly opens the door and takes a small step inside, just incase Andrew wished to be alone._

" _Andrew? You alright?" He turned sharply on spotting Charlie, not thinking before opening his mouth. Even if he did he properly still would have kept going, maybe in some childish attempt to hurt her back._

" _Ha! Hardly. What the hell is wrong with the sister of your department? Eh?! I offer her security, a home, marriage and what does she do? Throws it back in my face! And she's telling me this wasn't planned! Pfft!" He'd just assumed Duffy would have told her best friend not to mention her boss. Not really thinking at first that of course it wouldn't be like Duffy at all to do such a thing. Creasing his face he couldn't be more confused even if he tried. What the hell was Andrew talking about?_

" _Umm...I'm sorry? Andrew I don't know what your talking about." He lets out one small laugh, not at all shocked that Duffy hadn't told anyone now it had been said. Not understanding her at all. But he didn't he really understand woman at all. Did anyone?_

" _Oh did she not tell you? So much for you two been friends. She's pregnant Charlie."_

" _Oh..." Now that was_ _ **not**_ _what he expected at all. No wonder she has been so tearful today. Duffy had obviously just finished with Andrew over it and now he'd got the wonderful task of calming him down before he blasted her to the whole hospital._

" _Not that she wants me anywhere near her. I offer her everything but it's obvious all she wants is a child. I'm just a tool."_

" _Andrew. I understand your upset but this is not the way to go about it." He had a fair idea that nothing he said was going to make any difference and as he was about to answer Charlie, outraged, Duffy appeared once more._

" _What's going on?" She places her hands on her hips as she looks between both men. Andrew, of course, was the first to answer. He knew Charlie was right and he knew he was acting a like a brat. But still couldn't bring himself to calm down and act like an adult._

" _Charlie was just asking the same thing." Instantly she looked terrified, just for a split second before snapping herself out of it as rage took over. She glared at her ex, shaking her head in almost disbelief. She knew by the look on both their faces that he'd told Charlie. Her voice was full of hurt and frustration. Was this ever going to end?_

" _So that's your way of acting is it_ _ **?**_ _Childishly telling everyone something I haven't been able to bring myself to tell? And you wonder why the hell I finished it? Your not ready for a child Andrew! I am_ _ **not**_ _bringing up a baby and looking after you! Your acting like a bigger prat than I ever thought you'd be! She'd been trying to hide her emotions for too long and as her tears begin to escape she just wanted to run for it._

" _I didn't tell everyone! Just Charlie! I offered you everything Lisa! I didn't want you to look after me I want to look after you! But no. you threw it back. What the hell is wrong with you? Childish? Maybe. But I am sure as hell not letting one person I know think I abandoned you."_

" _You didn't offer me anything! You told me! You didn't ask me about anything! I wouldn't tell anyone you did." Her eyes glance around to notice they were attracting a crowd of people pretending not to listen. Horrified she didn't need to tell anyone, it was obviously going to be very public knowledge in about 20 seconds. Her voice was bitter and fuelled with anger. "I am not fighting with you over this in public Andrew! Or in fact at all. It's over. Deal with it! Go improve your career. Forgot about me. Wont take you long." With that she was gone. Out of sight in seconds, embarrassed by the sudden publicity of their argument. Charlie shakes his head at Andrew and stops himself for saying a few choice words to him. It was nothing to do with him, and of course for all he knew Duffy did get pregnant on purpose. Although it was highly unlikely, she was very career minded and a baby certainly didn't fit in the plan. Why would she work so hard to be sister only to be set on becoming a mum? No one would want to be a single working mother. Surely? Instead he simply says "I'm sure your needed upstairs." Before leaving to find Duffy, telling his staff to get back to work as he passes. The last thing either of them needed right now was staff gossiping. But the knew no matter what he or anyone did they would._

 _Having heard pretty quick about the drama Megan found Duffy in the sluice, bent over the sink attempting to get a breath with her eyes shut tight. Walking forward she places a hand on her back, causing her to turn around sharply, almost like she hadn't even heard anyone come in._

" _Are you alright love?" She knew she wasn't alright, there was little point asking her, but truthfully didn't know what else to say to her._

" _Alright? How can I be alright after what he's just done?!" Her face breaks, at a loss on what to do. "Now everyone knows. I didn't want them to find out like that. Especially you and Charlie."_

 _Before Megan could answer Charlie opened the door and cautiously walked in, locking the door behind him. He could see how nervous she looked, although he didn't fully understand why._

" _He's gone back upstairs. I doubt he'll be back down." Nodding she refuses to let her tears fall, telling herself to get a grip._

" _I didn't want you two to find out that way. The bloody arse!" Turning her head away her anger was so overpowering she just didn't know what to do. She'd never been this hurt and furious at the same time._

" _Don't worry about it. Are you alright?" Megan still was standing beside her as Charlie did his best to make sure she was alright. But of course her stubborn side had taken over, she wasn't showing the fear that was building._

" _I'll be fine. Don't worry. I can take care of myself."_

" _I know you can. But we are both always here if you ever want to talk. You know that."_

" _I know Charlie. Don't worry."_

" _Okay if your sure. I best go back out there." She smiles and nods as he unlocks the door and heads back out leaving her alone with Megan. The older woman turns once more to her as Duffy lets a small bit of the wall she'd built around herself down. Something she only did to Megan._

" _Megan I'm terrified."_


	6. Chapter 6

_She didn't see Andrew again after their very public argument. At first she was glad, she really wasn't up to constant fighting, not now that she was hit with constant exhaustion on top of her "morning" sickness. But once she had time to think about it all she was nothing more than hurt. She didn't go into that office intending to tell Andrew she didn't want him to have anything to do with the baby, not that she really planed that out in the slightest. She only wanted to end the relationship but he'd successfully wound her up so much she could only see a life of bickering and bitching, something she really didn't want for her child. She'd snapped, not trusting to be able to make any kind of decision with a man who thought she'd purposely got pregnant to stop a ticking biological clock. As if! After just been promoted? That was ludicrous. It made her see all the more how little she could trust Andrew in the slightest, her defences were raised. Wouldn't it be better to protect herself and her unborn child now from future pain? She'd rather take all the pain that have her child go through their father walking out. She was angry at herself too for getting so carried away. But there was no going back, it was over and that was the end of it. Part of her only wished she could completely forgot it. But then she couldn't walk away so easily. No matter what she did._

 _He seemed to be off to London in a split second increasing Megan's suspicion that he was glad to get away, free to improve his career without a baby and a wife or more likely an ex holding him back. A child was not convenient, no in the plan so to speak and Duffy didn't want him so he ran. The fool. She wasn't fond of the man from the start and very unimpressed at Duffy's choice to start seeing him. If you could call it that. But there was no telling Duffy, she didn't listen. She'd been through a lot and the last thing she needed was an obvious womaniser like Andrew. He seemed to be the type to jump from woman to woman and when ever he did, or if he did at all, settle down it would be with a woman without her own mind. Someone who'd take his opinion like gospel and not dare argue with him, 1950s style marriage. Not someone like Duffy at all. She'd proved that by refusing to stick to what society thought was the norm, not that Megan knew the full story or necessary agreed completely with her, she'd been in the same situation and picked a very different path although ended up the same. Alone. Duffy, as usual, was remaining very closed off about it all. Not that she really expected any different from her. All Megan knew was that, for obvious reasons, she was terrified of becoming a mother never mind a single mother. Although she did have a sneaky suspicion from little snippets Duffy had said she was more terrified of telling her mother about it, not that she'd ever met the woman. No matter what Duffy had been through she'd never heard any mention of the woman until now. She did wonder at one point if both her parents were dead, she still hadn't heard any mention of her father but something told Megan that he wasn't in the picture. Not dead but not there. Regardless of it all she'd be there if she wanted or needed her._

 _Glancing over at Cyril and Alex, obviously gossiping about Duffy again it was all Cyril seemed to do, in the corner of admin he sighs deeply. Duffy was struggling with the stress as it was without the staff constantly gossiping about it all, he knew she was going to bite their heads of if she spotted them. Or rather when, he knew it was just a matter of time. He hadn't had time himself to form an opinion on the situation not that he had any right to either. It was Duffy's life not his and he knew better than to stick his nose in. He would however need to discuss it with her, as her boss of course, he did need to know if she planned to leave despite having a high suspicion she had no intention on doing such a thing. Still he'd talk to her once everything had settled, if it ever did. He glances once more across to Alex and Cyril in the corner before rolling his eyes at the pair of them. Did they not have anything better to do?_

 _In Cyril's mind he was simply filling in Alex in the going ons in the department as she hadn't been in since Duffy and Andrews public break up. Of course she had her fair idea what had gone on but still it didn't hurt to add all the details. Leaning on the desk a bit more he lowers his voice, aware Charlie was watching._

" _Andrew's gone back to London already." Alex, joining in lowers hers about as much as Cyril. Her eyes widening the more she was told._

" _Seriously? I thought I heard someone say that. Didn't waste much time did he?" Although her and Duffy really didn't get on she did feel for the woman. Still it didn't stop her wanting to know everything. Cyril obviously didn't share the same sympathy towards Duffy._

" _Well I don't blame him. I spoke to him before he left, he offered her everything. Marriage, flat, life in London. It all. She just told him it was over and she didn't want to see him again. Seemed pretty crushed to be honest." Hmm. Maybe there was more to this that she first thought._

" _Insane. You'd think she wants to be a single mother."_

" _That is the rumour, that she did it on purpose. She is a sister after all! Surely this wasn't an accident?" That was a bit far for Alex, there was a limit. Plus she'd just caught sight of Duffy entering admin but before she got warm Cyril he was interrupted her._

" _Never know. Accident do happen. Cyril..."_

" _Oh come on Alex. She knew what she was doing." Too late Duffy was there and fuming, her arms folded. She'd never seen such a look of fear in Cyril's eyes as when he heard Duffy's hurt and angry voice answering._

" _Oh did she now? Do tell. Or how about you get on with some bloody work Cyril. You too Alex. Get lost before I change my mind and take you both into the office." Alex, a split second before rushing off with Cyril, didn't fail to notice the threatening tears stinging Duffy's eyes and she couldn't help but felt guilty for it._

 _As Duffy leans over the sink, exhaustion threatening to take over her once more today, Charlie appears at her side with that worried expression he always failed to hide._

" _Duffy?"_

" _What?" Her voice was short, just not having an patience any more._

" _You alright? Can I do anything?"_

" _I'm not ill for gods sake! I'm sick of bloody gossip though! Do they ever shut up?!"_

" _Sorry. And not I don't think they do. Nothing more than pure nosiness and the lack of anything interesting going on in their own lives. Must think your on a tv show or something." Sighing at last she gives him a small smile.  
"Sorry for snapping. Just frustrated. Your not gossiping. What's so interesting in your life? What's her name?"_

" _No need to be sorry. I don't blame you. Ah ha nice try Duffy. Her name is Holby A &E. Always interesting."_

" _Spoil Sport."_


	7. Chapter 7

_Despite been back in London for a week now he'd still failed tell his parents that Lisa and him were over. In fact he'd avoided them completely but he knew he had to tell them at some point and sadly that point was today. Grabbing his coat he begins to make his way round to theirs, oh this would be fun. He knew they were going to kill him and despite the messy way it ended he didn't want to slag off Lisa. He knew there was no going back and the more he thought about it the more he accepted it. She got the child she obviously wanted and he was free to move on in his life. Yes at first he was really hurt but he was beginning to see she'd done him a favour. He wasn't ready for a child. They would have never of lasted anyway._

 _It had been some time since she'd realized just how quiet her flat was and it felt like it was almost slowly killing her. She'd found herself on more than one occasion sitting crying in the early hours of the morning with no concrete reason to be. Her thoughts just seemed to swell in the silence and the frustration at the exhaustion that she carried got too much, although it was slowly getting better. Each time she snapped at herself to get herself together. It failed each time. As each day passed she seemed to find one more thing to worry about even if it was something that wouldn't happen for years and sometimes possibly not at all. Her own mother brought her up alone and she was remembering more and more just how difficult it must have been for her. Now in the dead of night her head was screaming at her that she'd never cope alone. She'd be a failed mother and no good to her child she was struggling enough at work how could she bring up a child? She had no support from anyone, her mother still didn't know and she knew all too well she wouldn't want to help. She'd watched mothers struggle alone and seen what it did to them. They were stronger than she was in all. This was something she couldn't do. She was career woman not a mum and she wasn't even that good at her job. She felt like she was drowning. Why had she been so bloody stupid? She was nurse for Christ sake! She was really beginning to despise Andrew for been able to just get out of it all so easily and quickly and had to admit she was jealous. No matter what decision she made she could never escape. Her mind seemed to be like a ping pong ball right now and she was beyond making a decision. One day she'd regret heavily not marrying Andrew, this was going to be harder than she ever imagined, then next she wanted to pretend none of it happened at all and finish it completely. It wasn't something she even considered at first, she'd shudder at the mere thought of it, but now as she sat alone at 2am thinking of what her future held it was easier to go forward that way. It wasn't a child yet. She was only 10 weeks she told herself. But deep down her heart wasn't listening despite the best attempts at her head to scream at it. She still couldn't even think the word. Would she really be able to go through with it? What life could she give a baby?_

 _His mothers face fell in a way he'd never seen as he finished explaining that Lisa and him were over. This was going to be harder to explain that he first thought. She was not going to take this lying down. He just really didn't want to explain the whole story, it was still difficult. He knew he'd behaved horribly at the brake up and was embarrassed at it. Surely she wouldn't make him tell her?The more he thought about it the worse he felt._

" _But...What happened?"_

" _It just didn't work out. We are very different people and it wasn't a serious relationship mum. We decided it was best to end it." It was easier to make her believe it was a joint decision that explain the truth. Her eyes widen in anger, how bloody immature was her son?_

" _Not a serious relationship?! She's pregnant for gods sake Andrew. Didn't work out? You have a baby on the way. Make it work!" His eyes fell, not been able to look up at her. He was going to have to tell her more than he'd planned._

" _No I don't."_

" _ **What**_ _?" Surely she hadn't got an abortion? This was all a bit much to take in at once. Her head was spinning with possibilities. Her husband was sat across from her remaining quite silent, knowing better than to get involved. But all the same he was not impressed with his son anymore than his wife was or this Lisa either. They both were certainly not acting their ages were they teenagers or medical professionals? He was beginning to wonder._

" _She doesn't want me to have anything to do with her or the baby. So no I_ _ **don't**_ _have a baby on the way. She does!" She places one hand on her head, failing to take this all in and make sense of it. What the hell had gone on between them? The last she heard they were getting married and now she was getting told this Lisa had obviously ended it and that was final. Had her son fought at all?_

" _So that's it? She's ended it and you've walked away! You bloody fool. Regardless of if she wants to be with you or not you still have a child on the way."_

" _Yes that's it! Listen to me mother. It's over. I do not have a kid on the way. That is it. Forget about it. I certainly will. It's not even a child anyway!"_

" _Andrew!"_

" _You know what? I've had it." With that he was up off the chair and out the door leaving his parents completely confused at the whole matter. He didn't need this right now. What he really needed was to concentrate on his new job, his life not some mistake he made in Holby._

 _Shoving her fist hard into her couch as she fails to stop her tears once more from escaping. No matter what crossed her mind she was refusing point blank to accept just how much the break up had really affected her. It was one angry moment and he'd just accepted her words just like that. Didn't she mean anything to the man? Didn't their child even? Obviously not. He told her the baby matter to him but it didn't look like that from where she was sitting. He hadn't tried to talk to her about it or anything. He'd just proved her right nothing more. She only wished he hadn't. She had no idea what she was saying to him at the time, no idea what she was letting herself in for. Yes she was terrified that he'd walk out but this seemed just as bad. She was bloody angry at herself, and Andrew, for letting herself fall for someone so quickly after Peter. She'd just left herself open for more heartache. Right now she what she wished more than anything that she'd never met him, never got the chance to be so bloody stupid. But in her weak moments she still regretted not marrying him and right now she didn't know what to do or what she should have done. She just hoped her mind would settle, she couldn't stay on one thought or feeling for more than five minutes before completely switching on it. There was just simply too much in her mind at one time and she felt like exploding. Worse still she hadn't told anyone how she really felt. She had no one to tell. She was alone. Completely alone._


	8. Chapter 8

_Glancing at the clock as she hoovered the last section of her flat, she knew Megan was worried about her but there was little she could have done to settle her mind. She had to admit she was glad she was coming round tonight, she desperately needed someone to talk to regardless of what it was about. Just having someone in the house was better than her sitting over thinking everything. Having broken down earlier in front of Megan she'd said more than she'd planned to at the time. Megan had enough on her plate was it was without her braking down in front of her and she still felt guilty about leaning on her. She was cautious not to that again tonight. But what she'd told her had been true, she really didn't know if she should have the baby it seemed like just too much. What was really eating her up was the fact she didn't feel anything towards the baby. It wasn't normal and it was killing her as well as her hundred odd worries rushing through her mind. But letting out a small proportion of her fears to Megan and talking to that little boys mum had made her realize she was worrying so much she hadn't let herself feel anything. Sam's mum had helped in way she'd never know, the woman didn't even know she was pregnant never mind going out of her mind about it. But seeing just how much she adored and loved her son despite the obvious heavy worries she had made her see things more clearly than she had done in weeks. No matter what was thrown at the woman her son meant more to her than anything else. That is what matters. Love. Nothing else. She could do this...somehow. She was going to have her baby and at last she couldn't wait._

 _Breaking Duffy from her thoughts Megan knocks heavily on the door, as she hears the hoover going, making a mental note to make sure she wasn't overdoing it. She couldn't help still be annoyed at Jimmy, despite it not been his fault really, for interrupting them earlier today. She was worried that Duffy would be back to remaining closed off. She was glad when she finally seemed to be starting to open up, although it was obvious that at first her mind was mush and she was still freaking out and she was fearful Duffy would go through with an abortion and regret it. But then it wasn't her decision. Also it was obvious she didn't know if she'd made the right choice in finishing with Andrew. It had been a very quick decision, one week and it was over. They hadn't even got their heads round the pregnancy without reaching that decision too. It wasn't going to help her, not talking it out, and she hadn't anyone else to talk to. It wasn't as if she had a family or partner to talk to was it? Not that she knew of anyway and from her break down earlier she highly doubted it. Plus it distracted her from her own problems. She needed to be needed. But despite all that she was overjoyed that she seemed to finally be settled in a decision to keep the baby. Although she was aware Duffy was terrified she knew she'd be a good mum, she didn't need to worry as much as she was doing. But as always there was no telling her and of course it wasn't going to be easy. But then it never was, even if your married._

 _Smiling as Duffy answers the door she hugs her lightly, unaware if she was still suffering the joys of early pregnancy or not. She was dressed in a light grey jumper that was slightly baggy on her and fell down her left shoulder, her hair lying across her bare shoulder, along with high waisted jeans and no shoes. She certainly didn't look pregnant but then Megan hadn't a clue how far gone she was, she didn't wish to ask before now. Although she could guess at around 12 weeks since she mentioned she hadn't thrown up, but was obviously still feeling nauseous. The joys._

" _Hello pet."_

" _Hey, sorry was hoovering. Come in." She moves left from the door to allow Megan into the hall of her flat. On entering Duffy's home she knew from first sight that there was so much that was going to change. It was obviously the flat of a twenty year old without kids, modern, stylish and considerably tidy. Not for much longer. No house was after the chaos that children brought. Prams in the hall, toys everywhere and all those items that come along with small children._

" _Coffee? Tea?" As she followed Duffy into the living room she noticed the flat wasn't just tidy it was spotless. Not that it was normally a mess but it was never this tidy. Who had the energy after a shift in Casualty?_

" _Oh no thanks. Have you relaxed at all today woman? This flat is spotless!" She keeps her eyes straight on her as they both sit on the small couch._

" _It keeps my mind busy, somewhat. What better to do at 4am?" Her face creases in concern at the younger woman but Duffy tries to smile it off._

" _Oh Duffy. Have you been sleeping at all?" She didn't want to go into that, it wouldn't help reassure Megan's obvious worry. It didn't matter anymore._

" _I will tonight."_

" _Sure? Feeling better about it all." She smiles once more._

" _Yeah..."_

" _Want to talk about it?" Her face scrunches up as she shakes her head._

" _Ah Megan you've got enough going on without me leaning on you in all."_

" _Duffy! Don't try that one. You can't keep bottling it all up. It will do you no good." Megan reaches over and takes Duffy's hand into hers, knowing she needed support._

" _I've found that out already."_

" _Worrying so much about everything that your not giving yourself a chance to really think clearly?"_

" _I think so. I've not been sleeping well, there was just too much to try and get my head round. Always another thing to worry about, be it work or the baby. One or another has been keeping me up. I shouldn't have been so quick in finishing things with Andrew. But he's proved to me that he was never going to be as supportive as he first made out. Maybe I did make the right choice."_

" _Don't let work stress you out love. You've got enough on your mind. There's always someone to help. You'll be fine on your own. You don't need Andrew to bring up this baby. You know that. What happened between you two?" Pulling her hair out of her face she nods towards Megan. She knew she was right, but it was still scary. She sighs before explaining something that was constantly on her mind. Did she do the right thing?_

" _I told him I was pregnant he seemed to be fine with it. Happy even. That made me worse, I didn't know what to think. I was freaking out, it didn't help that I've just been promoted to sister, I was convinced I'd let everyone down. Insane I know. Then he came back from London and had just assumed we were getting married and moving to London."_

" _You didn't let anyone down! He didn't ask you?"_

" _Nope. The only think he was going to discuss with me was about a flat in London that his parents were going to help us with. I freaked out. I don't love him Megan. I wasn't going to marry him. I ended it and he then accused me of getting pregnant on purpose. I got angry and told him he was to have nothing to do with the baby. He then told everyone and left. That's it really." Shaking her head she couldn't really believe Duffy was been serious. Everything made so much more sense now. But Duffy mentioning his parents reminded her of something._

" _I understand that. Don't marry someone just because you have kids. It won't last and it's unfair to the children. You've seen families in casualty suffering from loveless marriages. What a childish reaction, and he thinks he's ready to be a dad? Doesn't sound like it."_

" _He didn't seem to agree. I think he thought it was his duty to marry me. No question about it. That it would just happen. It was insane. I was just sitting there and completely going out of my mind. At first I thought I was just scared of committing to him. But I don't know him Megan. He doesn't know anything about me at all. How on earth could he think we should get married? It was the way he came out with it too. Then saying to me that woman like me don't get pregnant by accident. Saying I used him to get a baby. That sealed it. He obviously hadn't a clue. If he knew me at all he wouldn't dare accuse me of that. All I could see was us fighting and miserable. That scared me more. But now he's gone my head isn't full of 'I'm pregnant what are me and Andrew going to do?' it's full of 'I'm going to have a baby.' I know it's the same thing but my head was just focussed on the pregnancy and now, more so seeing kids at work, it's hit me it's so much more."_

" _It's a lot to take in when your married never mind like this. For what it's worth I think you've made the right decision for you. Sometimes it's best to walk away. You know what's right deep down. You never know he might get involved later on but right now he's best of out the picture. Your right he doesn't know you at all. Not great grounds to start a marriage on. I know it's not easy. It's not the same thing. I know what your going through. Although it doesn't normally hit you until your further on."_

" _I have my 12 week scan a week today. That's when it really hit me." Megan's face lit up, oh seeing her reaction Duffy couldn't help but grin as well, ah her first scan. Now that was something for her to really look forward to regardless of everything else going on. Surely her mother would be going with her?_

" _Your first scan! Excited? Is your mum going with you?" Her face turned considerably worried at the mention of her mum so much so that she dropped her gaze, not even looking at Megan._

" _No."_

" _No?"_

" _No. I've not told her yet..."_

" _Why not? She's your mum Duffy. Won't she be excited?"_

" _Huh! Yeah right! My mum is very religious Megan. She will be anything but pleased. Regardless of the fact she and my father were never together really. Never married. I suppose that will make her worse really. Knowing I'm sort of following in her footsteps. We don't get on at the best of times anyway. She really is going to kill me."_

" _If she's religious then she'll know every baby is a blessing. She might shock you. Give her a chance."_

" _Don't get me wrong she'll love the baby once he or she arrives but she will do nothing but lecture me. She won't think of the fact she's going to have a grandchild but rather that her daughter is pregnant out of wedlock. Very embarrassing for her. Plus the last thing I need right now is a fight. The last time I spoke to her she asked when I was going to settle down and have kids but she didn't mean like this." Rubbing her hand she frowns slightly and sighs, not knowing how Duffy managed to concentrate on work so well with all this going on._

" _It can't be easy but your not going to be able to get off with it for much longer you need to remember that."_

" _I didn't even think of that!" She glances down towards her still flat stomach worryingly. It was plain to see she was scared to tell her._

" _Duffy are you scared to tell her?"_

" _Too bloody right I am! You don't know my mother!"_


	9. Chapter 9

Her plan really was to go alone to her first scan but after Megan realised she wasn't going to tell her mum any time soon and she wasn't going to have anyone there she wouldn't take no for an answer. Truthfully Duffy was glad she was going to be there, it was someone else to share it with. But she was still very cautious not to lean on anyone too much, she was in this alone and it wasn't fair on anyone else to constantly use them. Despite her nurse training she couldn't help but worry incase something was wrong, in fact her training was making her worse than she would be without it. She couldn't sleep last night with worry, her mind going through everything that possibly could go wrong. It was only natural to worry to she told herself in some attempt to get her mind to settle. Not that it helped in the slightest. But part of her just wished it was over already. Only last week she was wondering if she should have the baby now she was freaking out incase something was wrong. Talk about hormones in overdrive. She quickly runs a brush through her hair once more as Megan knocks on her door. Was It time to go already? Glancing at her outfit in the mirror as she passes her figure was certainly changing quicker than she expected. For some reason she got it into her head she wouldn't show for ages yet. It was something Megan had noticed too or rather how quick she'd changed her style of clothing. Her stomach was hardly noticeable in her uniform and you'd never guess in her new choice of style. It was only last week she was in high waisted jeans, fashionable tops and jumpers but as Duffy opened the door to greet Megan she couldn't help but take note on the rather shapeless and baggy style of clothes she'd opted for were.

"Hey. Thanks again Megan. You don't have to."

"Don't be ridiculous love. You alright?"

"I'm fine. But it's your day off Megan."

"Leave it Duffy. Your not going alone. You look like your about to sit an exam. You nervous?"

"Of course I am. I barely slept last night."

"There's no need to worry."

"Yeah...Right and you were completely calm when it was you?"

"Well no. No one is. But everything will be fine. Come on or we'll be late."

It was over before she knew it. One second she was leaving the flat and the next she was sitting in a café having lunch with Megan. Thankfully it all went well no problems at all and finally her morning sickness seemed to be a thing of the past. Or so she hoped anyway. She was just glad to be able to eat something rather than living off coffee and even that made her feel sick. Now if only Megan would drop the whole ' have you told your mum yet?' conversation it would be a great day. But that it seemed was asking just too much.

"Love your going to need to tell her! It won't be long before your showing. She'll be hurt."

She glances down to her stomach, it was still small but it wasn't flat anymore and she had a fair idea it was never going to be flat again. She knew Megan was right she really did have to get it over with. Resting her hands upon her stomach she lets her head fall back before glancing at Megan once more.

"I already am showing. I know and I will tell her."

"No one can notice quite yet. I know your nervous but it's best to just get it over with."

Shutting her eyes once more she sighs, giving in. The longer she left it the worse it would be.

"I'll go round today and tell her. Might as well face the music. I guess."

"Good. Call me once you get home. I'm sure it will be fine." Taking her hand into hers once more she smiles in some attempt to reassure her.

Standing on her mothers doorstep she just wished she could make a break for it. But it was too late now, her mother was opened the front door. Deep breath in...It can't go that bad.

"Oh. Hello Lisa."

"Don't look so shocked! It's not been _that_ long since you saw me."

"I know. I just didn't expect it to be you. Come in." Walking through her mothers hallway she keeps her eyes fixed on the photos decorating the living room but her mind was drowning in some attempt to figure out what the hell to tell her mum so much so she didn't hear her at all. At first all her mother cared about was making sure her daughter wasn't staying too long. She was going out tonight. Stuff to do people to see. But as she began to see something wasn't right all plans were forgotten.

"Coffee?" Her face creases with worry as she tries again. "Lisa? Coffee?" Nope nothing. "Are you alright Lisa?" Walking forward slightly she places her hand on her daughters shoulder, breaking her from her dream type behaviour. She did look rather more pale than normal. Not that she wasn't always pale but this time she just looked... Well different.

"Oh sorry. Was in another world."

"So I noticed. You alright? Want coffee?" Biting back not to say 'I'd rather a vodka' she shakes her head. She should cut back on the coffee in all, she'd had far too much in the past few weeks just to get her through the day.

"No thanks. I'm fine." She knew she wasn't going to buy it, her nervous composure gave her away.

"You don't seem it. You sure?"

"I'm fine mum. Really. Look I need to talk to you about something. Just don't freak out okay?"

"Oh god not this conversation again. I never like this conversation love. Your not going out with someone in their 50s are you?"

"No! Mum! Just sit down will you." Rolling her eyes no matter what she had to tell her mum she always jumped to the most insane conclusions. As she finally sits she forces herself to sit next to her, instead of opting for the armchair across the room.

"What is it? Your worrying me." She fails to keep eye contact, focusing on her shoes instead.

"I'm pregnant mum." As expected her mother did know how to react. She couldn't believe her ears. Who was the father? When the hell did she start a relationship? Oh god. It wasn't a one night stand was it? So many questions ran through her head she didn't know where to start.

"What? Your kidding me?"

"No. No I'm not." Despite a small section of her mind telling her not too she can't help but raise her voice at her daughter. Why the hell did she do this?! She had a good career and now she'd ruined it. Stupid girl!

"Who's the father? It was only a few weeks ago you were telling me you were single!"

"I lied mum. It was complicated. He's a doctor that I was working with. He hadn't been there too long. It wasn't a serious relationship. It was just casual. But it just happened."

"Oh great! Lisa you are a Sister surely you know how to prevent pregnancies?! A doctor too! Two medical professionals should not end up in this situation. I hope the father is taking his share in all this!"

"Of course I bloody do! It just happened! Sometimes this just happens. You should bloody know that. Not as if you weren't in the same situation yourself is it? No he's not. We finished. Or rather I finished it. I am not getting married just because I'm pregnant. We barely know each other. I don't love him."

"Don't speak to me like that! He proposed? God Lisa! What the hell have you got yourself into? It's not just you that you have to consider now. Remember that! How far gone are you?"

"Huh! I wouldn't call it a proposal. More like an assumption. I don't need him! I can raise this baby on my own. I don't need a man to do it. I'm 12 weeks today."

" I'm not saying you do! But why should he get off scot free? Three months already? How long have you known? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yes. I've known a few weeks. There just wasn't time. Not with work and the baby's father to sort out. Plus I had to get my own head around it first. It was a lot to take in. There's not point telling people until I got my head straight."

"Bet your boss isn't pleased!"

"He is very supportive for your information!"

She couldn't help but mutter 'more than you are.' under her breath. This was going worse than she expected. Weren't Mothers just wonderful?

"But why? He's only just promoted you and you'll be leaving him without a Sister again. He can hardly be happy for you. More so when it's like this!"

"What do you mean? He's hardly going to go off on one for a few months maternity leave."

"Your not leaving work?"

"Of course I ain't! Like you said, I've only just been promoted."

"You can't work with a baby! Not on your own."

"I can so! You just watch!"

"You haven't the slightest idea what you've got yourself into do you? It's not a cat Lisa!

"I know that for Christ sake! You just don't want to have the shame of a ####### grandchild!"

"That is not true!"

"Oh isn't it? Or is it just the shame of a pregnant daughter? What will the church say when they find out I finished it. It was alright for you. It was dad that ran off. But what about me? Am I just an embarrassment to you now?"

"Your been ridiculous Lisa! I just want the best for you!"

"It certainly seems like it. Why can't you just be happy for me? Or is that too much for you?"

"Lisa please!" This was getting them no where. Why couldn't her daughter understand she only wanted the best for her? She didn't want her to be a single mother, she knew how hard it was and worse still she didn't want her grandchild growing up with only one parent who was more interested in her career than them. Lisa hadn't a clue just how difficult bringing up a child alone was going to be. She was proud of how successful she was at her job but she knew how demanding it was. It never used to bother her but she couldn't help but fear that her daughter wouldn't manage to juggle both a baby and a career. It was just too much. One thing for sure she was **not** getting left holding the baby. She'd got herself into this bloody mess and she was going to have to deal with it.

She just didn't answer her now. It was the hurt that got to her most. Why couldn't she just be happy for her? She wanted this baby more than anything else in the world. Andrew didn't matter anymore. Why couldn't she keep her career and have a family? It wasn't impossible. She knew she shouldn't have told her. She knew she'd never understand. Now their relationship was worse than ever.


	10. Chapter 10

_At just 16 weeks there was no denying her pregnancy now, gone were tight fitting jeans and figure hugging tops, she couldn't even wear the belt with her uniform anymore. Baggy clothes were not something she tended to spend money before, why would she?, so at first it was a complete nightmare finding something to wear that fitted her. Nothing she owned at all fitted great but thankfully she was going shopping with Megan next week, although she knew full well she wasn't going to like anything there. At least she wouldn't look six months pregnant once she'd got at least one proper jumper. It would all be worth it in the end although her uniform didn't look too bad maybe she should just wear that all the time? It was a thought that crossed her mind more than once. Other than that she was overjoyed that finally she felt human again, after two months of nearly living in the bathroom and eating next to nothing she was just glad for a lie in and a cooked breakfast. It's true, the little things that make you happy._

 _Unfortunately today was not going to be a brilliant day, she'd agreed to meet her mum for lunch before her shift. They hadn't spoke to each other since she'd announced her pregnancy, already a month ago, and truthfully Duffy would rather she didn't speak to her at all right now. She was genuinely happy and relaxed, even with her job. Now she wasn't freaking out constantly over any small problem it wasn't stressing her out as much. Everything was going great if only her mother saw that. But it seemed still just too much to ask._

 _She wasn't the only one having parent troubles. Ever since he'd told his parents about the break up he'd avoided them like the plague. Every time he spoke to them on the phone he could only ever get any conversation out his dad and even that was forced. His mother either refused to talk to him or would lecture him on how disappointed she was in him. In her eyes he'd ran with glee at been given permission to do so. She just didn't get it. This was Lisa's choice not his and he had to live with it and he was doing quite well. Although he'd do far better if it wasn't for his parents making him feel worse and constantly reminding him about it all. The last time he'd spoke to him his mum went on so much he'd snapped at her to drop it and hung up. If it wasn't for them he'd really be enjoying life back in London. He adored his job, it really was everything he'd hoped for, and the people were great. As much as he knew he shouldn't be he was beginning to be glad he wasn't tided down with a baby on the way. In his mind Lisa and himself had both got the lives they'd wanted what was wrong with that?_

 _Greeting her daughter at the local café she couldn't say she was happy about the pregnancy still. Who would be? She had so much promise, so much opportunity and now this! She'd ruined over a casual fling with someone she barely knew. A nurse should know bloody better. It may of only been a short four weeks since she'd last seen her but by god did she look different. It wasn't expected at all. Maybe in her mind it all wasn't happening, it was some wind up or something. But the moment she locked eyes on Lisa all she could notice was her growing stomach. It had been on her mind constantly these past four weeks but she hadn't expect Lisa to look any different than the sickly looking woman she'd seen last month. But she did. She wasn't even trying to hide it, her top clung around her bump proudly, although Kate was unaware this was not her choice of clothing regardless it didn't help her forget it. This was really happening..._

" _Well...How you been?"_

" _Don't force yourself mum. Why did you want to meet me? It's obviously not because you've had a change of heart."_

" _Lisa. Come on. Don't be like that."_

" _I saw it in your face the moment you saw me. Or should I say the moment you noticed my stomach. I am in my second trimester you know. My stomach isn't going to stay flat. I'm not trying make you notice I just don't have great fitting clothes yet."_

" _Your completely misreading me Lisa. I know your in your second trimester I'm not that forgetful. I didn't ask to meet you to upset you or get into a fight." As excepted her daughters voice was one hundred percent full of sarcasm. But then wasn't it always?_

" _Oh really?" Rolling her eyes she sighs, this was going to be harder than she thought. Why did she have to be so darn stubborn and refuse to listen to sense?_

" _Lisa please! Just listen to me." Keeping her eyes focussed on the drink in her hands she couldn't help but wish away the time. This was the longest afternoon she'd had in quite some time. Didn't her shift start soon?_

" _I'm listening..."_

" _I've been thinking..."_

" _Oh? What about?" She was lying, she really didn't want to know what she was thinking about. Her face told her that she wasn't going to like whatever came out her mothers mouth. At least she was prepared not to like it._

" _The baby's father..." Here we go. She was a broken record sometimes._

" _Not this again mum. Please."_

" _No Lisa. Hear me out. I really urge you to contact the father. You don't have to this alone."  
"I do. I'd rather I do. The father is a career man. He'd be no use to the baby. I'm better off without him."  
"But he offered to marry you! He can't be that bad." Ooh she was so infuriating! Whoever this man was couldn't be as bad as Lisa made out he was. Yes he'd ran at the first chance but she told him to! What man wouldn't do the same thing? Why did she always have to do everything alone? Never accepted help. Never! _

" _Out of duty mum! He didn't want to marry me at all. Why would he? We barely knew each other."_

" _If you barely knew him what are you doing sleeping with him?" She didn't mean to say it but it was out before she had a chance to even think. Shaking her head she couldn't believe what she was hearing. The cheek of her. Getting to her feet she wasn't putting up with this any longer. She didn't need this stress right now!_

" _Oh shut up will you? You know what? I can't deal with this. Just don't bother! I am having this baby alone mum and it has bugger all to do with you! I don't need this!"_

" _You wouldn't be so angry if you didn't know it was true. Sleep around and this happens."_

" _You can talk! I was not sleeping around. Oh bugger this!" She shoved money onto the table to pay her share before grabbing her coat and rushing out the room, failing to notice the eyes watching her from various other tables. Not that it would make any difference._


	11. Chapter 11

" _That really nice pet." She was referring to a denim top with small flowers decorated down the front that Duffy had in her hands. It wasn't the most exciting top and normally she wouldn't go near it, which Megan was more than aware of, but there wasn't much else to pick from. It was that or large shapeless dresses or horribly designed and fitting tops with awfully bright leggings and she certainly wasn't far along enough to need them yet. Thankfully! Was she really going to have to wear that in a few weeks? Maybe by then she just wouldn't care, or so she hoped. If not she really would just be wearing her uniform and god knows what the maternity Sisters uniform looked like. She didn't think she really wanted to know. All she needed right now was a few baggy tops and loose fitting jeans but 80s fashion didn't seem to be helping her in the slightest. Remembering she hadn't answered Megan she glances up and screws up her face, smiling of course._

" _Hmm. It will do I suppose." Megan really didn't see what was so wrong with it, it was just a less fitting version of some of the clothes she wore normally. What was the difference? But then fashion was never important once you had a family to run and Duffy would so be finding that out. Although obviously not just yet. But regardless Megan did have a suspicion once they headed to the baby shops that all thoughts of awful clothing for the next 6 or so months would be deeply forgotten. She wouldn't give a damn anymore._

" _Try it on. You might like it."_

" _Alright. I guess you never know."_

 _Minutes later she was stood staring at her reflection in the stores mirror, it fit at least. She guessed it wasn't as bad as she first thought it would be. It didn't cling to her stomach like her other tops did and for once she looked 17 weeks gone not 20 odd. Yes it would do._

" _Hows it fit?"_

" _Better than I thought. It's not bad at all. I actually don't look further along than I am for once."_

" _Told you. Duffy, well you are 5 months gone next week, a small stomach is going to be a thing of the past. But you can still barely notice."_

" _You should never lie Megan. Ooh I know. Scary! 4 odd months left already."_

" _I'm not. Goes in so fast love." Rolling her eyes she scoffs. Hmm! Yeah right! Fast? Not when your throwing up constantly for weeks on end it doesn't._

" _The first three months certainly didn't!" She couldn't help but laugh, it didn't help that Duffy was so deadly serious. She should know as a nurse that pregnancy wasn't a fun ride most of the time._

" _They aren't supposed to!"_

" _Hmm found that out for sure."_

" _Wait till the backache starts. Got everything you need in here?"_

" _Ooh don't remind me! Yeah. Lets go."_

" _So what was her name then?" He look another gulp of his cold beer as he peered at his friend sitting across from him. Where was he going with this?_

" _Don't know what you mean James." He met up with James regularly when he was staying in London for pub lunches and of course quite a few nights out. They'd known each other years and studied in medical school together. James worked in a Casualty unit in London ever since they'd qualified whereas Andrew moved around to various jobs in various departments. But London was always home._

" _Crap! You've barely said a word about Holby. That means a woman is involved. I repeat. What is her name?" He was right. Normally he'd have told him about most of the staff he'd worked with, who to avoid if they ever found themselves in London, and of course the low-down on the woman. But not this time. He just wanted to forget Holby completely and the people he'd met in all. He sighs and leans back in his stool._

" _Lisa."_

" _Doctor?" Andrew was quite like himself, never in a serious relationship. It was always casual and when it suited him. Naturally he assumed he knew what was going on._

" _Nurse." Hmm. Not like him. Not a smart move either._

" _Big mistake! You normally stick with the Doctors. You should know the nurses want commitment Andrew. Avoid them. Doctors however are too focussed on their careers. I thought you knew that? What happened?"_

" _You don't know how wrong you are James!"_

" _You've lost me now."_

" _I was seeing the Sister of the casualty department. Nothing serious of course. She liked it that way. Then just before my interview she found out she was pregnant." Pregnant? Oh ####. He had been bloody stupid. Curious he wasn't leaving it there._

" _Oh. ####. What happened? You didn't run off and leave her did you?_

" _Of course I didn't! I went for my interview and when I came back we talked. I thought we'd get married, it's the right thing to do. Then move here. She didn't really say anything. Then later on she dumped me. Told me she didn't love me and I was to have nothing more to do with her or the baby. She wanted her own life, wasn't sacrificing her career for mine. It's insane."_

" _Oh man! You joking? You got used there mate! Big style. Biological clock ticking was it? A nurse with the mind of a Doctor. That's new!"_

" _I suggested that she bit my head of. She's only in her 20s of gods sake! She'd have to be a hell of an actress to have planned it judging by her reaction to it. Tell me about it!"_

" _She get rid of it then?"_

" _No. not as far as I know. She told me she's going to have the baby and keep it. She doesn't want anything from me."_

" _Mate you've been given a get out of jail free card! Why the hell you complaining about?"_

" _I don't know." James couldn't get his head round it. Didn't make sense. He'd be overjoyed if some bird had let him off like that. Unless...oh no._

" _You fell for her didn't you?"_

" _Yeah I think I did..."_

 _Megan was right, the moment she set her eyes on the baby clothes her heart just melted. It was so easy to just go way overboard. Thankfully it was the wrong side of pay day and she just couldn't afford to. Everything was just so small and cute, how could she resist?_

" _I meant to ask. How did lunch with your mum go?"_

" _Hmm. Not well. We ended up fighting and I've not spoken to her since. I don't need her crap right now. She's firmly on Andrews side and she's never even met him! Basically said it was my own fault for sleeping around." That was harsh! Duffy wasn't a slut and regardless of how it happened she was pregnant and her mum should be supporting her and looking forward to the birth of her first grandchild. Some people!_

" _Oh love. I'm sorry. I really thought she'd come round by now."_

" _I don't think she ever really will. I don't want her too. I don't need her or anyone else. She had some cheek too. She wasn't married when she had me." Placing her arm around her she knew it couldn't be easy for her. It was hard enough when you were married never mind when you had no one, not one family member with you. She didn't know how she coped with it and her job._

" _Forgot about her love. Don't stress yourself out. Come on. I saw some lovely tops over there."_


	12. Chapter 12

_Resting at last in the nursing office she'd never been so glad to get a break. They'd been rushed off their feet for hours and she really didn't wish to admit it but by god it wasn't easy to keep going. Charlie had asked her twice through the insanity of it all if she wanted a break to which she naturally bit his head of at each time. He quickly learnt not to ask, she knew he was just trying to be a good boss but all she saw was the fact they all thought she needed help. She didn't need any special treatment why couldn't they see that? She was pregnant not ill!_

" _Cup of tea?" She jumps, having not heard Megan enter the office. Smiling at her obvious surprise she continues into the office holding two cups of tea. "In another world were you?"_

" _Yeah. Trying to convince myself to do this mountainous paperwork while I've got the chance. Tea would be lovely."_

 _As she handed the Sister the cup of tea she couldn't help but add."Don't push yourself love."_

 _Rolling her eyes she keeps her temper as she gratefully accepts the tea. "I'm not Megan. Charlie and I have had no chance to do any of this for ages. I'll take advantage of a spare few minutes and a sit down."_

" _If you sure." The older nurse smiles knowingly and takes a seat next to her boss. Not really believing a word she was saying._

 _James was right, he had been given a get out of jail free card so why not celebrate it? He'd told himself many of a time since their break up that he was over it and he liked his life but he was lying. Until now that was. He had the life he always wanted, always dreamed of. Enough money not to worry and the dream job. Not only was he a doctor, well qualified too, but he got to teach and research, hopefully to help others. He knew he'd been out a little bit too much since his chat with James but he was certain Lisa was not going to ruin his life with her decision. She had her life and he had his, that was it and he had to move on. Something that didn't take as long as he thought it would. The longer he spoke with James the more he realised Lisa had chosen her life so why should he feel guilty about it? She didn't want him, why should he miss someone like her? She was stubborn, hurtful, blunt and far too set on her career for her own good. Well good luck to her! Cursing drinking so much the previous night he rolls over in his bed and smiles on spotting the brunette lying opposite him. She was a doctor he knew from his previous job in London, very career minded like Lisa but he'd learnt his lesson there. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice there. That was for sure. He'd been through that one time too many._

" _It's a boy."_

" _It's a girl!"_

" _Charlie! I'm telling you, it's a boy! Now shut up."_

 _She couldn't help but laugh at the warring pair across from her as she was still attempting to get on with her paperwork, not that either nurse were helping her! They'd done nothing but argue since they'd locked eyes on each other. Be it about if tea or coffee was better or days or nights were easier shifts. They didn't seem to care or agree on either. But now, somehow, the fight was on if she was having a boy or girl._

" _It's a girl Megan! Now you be quiet."_

" _She's carrying low, its a boy!"_

" _Not that old crap. Plus you can barely tell she's pregnant."_

" _Are you two going to argue like an old married couple all day?"_

 _Grinning proudly they both nodded. "Yes."_

" _Ugh! Well why you disagree on just about anything how about you take some of this paperwork off me?"_

" _Nah, no thanks."_

" _I'm good. Take a break. You've not had one all day."_

" _Take a break? Have you realised just how behind we are on paperwork? Valerie will murder us."_

" _Ah let her moan. It's been hectic. Now take a brake. Bosses orders."_

 _She knew he was right, plus the department was finally completely dead after than mad rush through the night. She did need time to just not think about work but it was easier than to focus on everything else than constantly filled her mind. But her stubborn side took over, part of her brain still thinking he was treating her different. Pushing herself off the chair she calming answers him as she heads out the room._

" _I'll just check the department first."_

" _If you must. Someone would have got us if we were needed Duffy."_

" _I'll just check." Once she'd shut the door he can't help but roll his eyes._

" _She's turning into a workaholic."_

" _Ha!" Laughing she shakes her head at him, he was one to talk._

" _What?"_

" _The cheek of you!_ _ **You**_ _calling Duffy a workaholic. She's most likely learnt it off you."_

 _He couldn't argue with her really could he? He did have a big reputation of been one of the worst workaholics in the hospital and Duffy never used to be one. When she started in the department she was like most newly qualified nurses, distracted easily and more interested in party's. But ever since Peters death, some time ago now, she was quickly getting a similar reputation._

" _Ah rubbish. Anyway you can talk yourself."_

" _I guess we are all as bad as each other."_

" _I think your right. But we aren't pregnant. Duffy is. Not that she's made any changes to how she works."_

" _I never thought it would. If she thinks you think she should get special treatment you'll make her worse. She's pregnant not ill."_

" _You sound just like her Megan."_

 _He throws her one of his best smiles as she gets out his car and turns to lean against his car. He was quite charming. Not that she'd ever noticed that before._

" _Bye Andrew. Thanks for the lift." Leaning in the window she gives him a quick kiss, making sure no one she knew was around before doing so._

" _No problem. See you tomorrow Vicky."_

" _Your place?"_

" _Sure."_

" _Bye."_

 _Driving off once more he did consider telling Vicky about Lisa but what good would it do? Bar James no one else knew and what reason did they have to know anyway? It would never make any_ _difference in his life or Liz's so what was the use in telling her?_


	13. Chapter 13

_Having pulled her jumper over her head she lets her hands wrap around her stomach, slightly nervous about today. A sharp kick, as if on cue, told her not to but she couldn't help it. Everyone else always told her how exciting scans were but so far they'd just made her worried. Yes it was great once you were reassured everything was indeed alright but until then she was anything but excited. Glancing at her watch she was running late again, she could never get anywhere on time right now. Grabbing her handbag from where she'd dumped it last night she rushes out the flat, only just remembering to lock the door._

 _Walking into the staffroom he was an hour early, not something he always managed but he'd been bored and just decided it come in. it wasn't like there was never anything to do. To his shock he found Megan already sitting reading a magazine. She also didn't start for another hour. Now he didn't expect to find her sitting there. Not today._

" _I thought you'd be with Duffy." Glancing up from her magazine, she creases her face in concern. Why would she be? Had she missed something?_

" _No. Why?" Now that was strange. Maybe he'd missed something._

" _She's got her 20 week scan today."_

" _What?! She never told me."_

" _Maybe she made up with her mum? Or maybe I'm wrong."_

" _I doubt it! I asked her yesterday about her mum, barely got a word out of her. She hasn't spoken to her for weeks. When she tell you?"_

" _I don't know then. You know what Duffy is like. Yesterday, she said she might be late for her shift."_

" _Oh yes. Stubborn. She'll have gone on her own."_

" _I don't see why."_

" _Most likely because she's convinced she's relying on people too much."_

" _Ah. Now that sounds like Duffy."_

 _Megan was right, it terrified her that she was a burden on others. Megan had so much going on right now and the last thing she needed was her constantly needing her help or presence. Before she found out she was pregnant she'd been worried that she'd been doing far too much and she still was worried. But she didn't seem to be helping her at all. It was obvious she wasn't over Ewarts death and it didn't help that her marriage had fallen apart. But then were any of them over Ewart? She found herself missing him greatly at the most silly of times. She knew Megan felt it more than any of rest of them. Silly things reminded her of him. Someone winding up Charlie for example or if any of them were fighting with management. Small things he did just brought her back. When she finished with Andrew she couldn't help but miss his comfort. He wasn't someone you'd expect to be a shoulder to cry on, he was the boss after all. But over the years he was always there. The father figure of the team, with Megan been the mother. They were much more her family than anyone else had ever been. Hugging her if she'd got upset over a patient or putting his arms around her after a break up. It was tough on her god knows what Megan was going through. She knew him so much longer than she ever did._

" _Everything is perfect Lisa."_

" _Phew!"  
"You can relax now." _

_Maybe."_

" _Want to know the sex?"_

 _Staring at the screen she wasn't sure. She was just so glad everything was okay, maybe she could finally relax about it all. Most likely not but hopefully. The sex didn't matter, the baby was fine and that was the only important thing to her now._

" _No. No thanks."_

" _Much better when it's a surprise."_

 _Heading into the staffroom she was a little early for her shift yet but there was no point her going anywhere else was there? She quickly puts the scan photo into her bag before completely going into the room. Charlie was making some kind of drink, coffee she guessed, and Megan was sitting doing a crossword. Hmm. All seemed quiet. Thankfully._

" _Hey you two." Charlie quickly glanced up and smiled before heading to the door with his mug._

" _Hey Duffy. I'll be back in a sec. Just got something to check." And with that he was out the door before Megan could even speak. He knew when to leave a room, it had nothing to do with him. But his sudden exit confused Duffy, what the hell got into him?_

" _How did the scan go?" Megan's eyes were fixed on her and suddenly Charlie's hurried exit all made sense. He'd blabbed on her. Great! She couldn't help but look like a rabbit caught in the headlights._

" _Ah..."_

" _Yes ah. Why didn't you tell me Love? Please tell me you didn't go alone?" Frowning slightly she dumps her bag in her locker before sitting across from Megan, not really wanting to explain. There was no lie she could tell either, nothing she could think of to make up. But then lying was not her strong point. Snapping at Megan wouldn't work either, there was no way out._

" _I'm relying on you all too much Megan. I got myself into this and I have to deal with it. Not constantly be at you and Charlie. It's not fair." Unable to keep her eyes on Megan anymore she quickly gets off her seat in favour of making some tea, it was less awkward._

" _Your not! You barely ask for a thing. The odd shopping trip, chat and your first scan is not asking too much. It's what a friend does. You know that Duffy."_

" _I can't help it."_

" _Don't do it again. No matter what you need Duffy. Ask! You are not burden love and your not going through all this on your own. Please tell me your mum or someone went with you." Getting off her own seat she goes to Duffy's side, placing one hand on her shoulder to make her turn round._

" _I won't. Promise. But you really don't need to Megan. Uh no." As she shakes her head Megan rolls her eyes dramatically, that bloody woman!_

" _I want to. Duffy! Ooh. What am I going to do with you? Hmm? Come on. Tell me. How did the scan go?"_

" _Sorry. I really am. Ooh It was perfect. I must show you the photo."_

" _Great! Do you know what your having?"_

" _Nope. But they are perfect. That's all that matters." Smiling she places her other arm on her shoulder she takes the younger woman into a hug. She knew she was mothering her, fully aware she didn't need it in her 20s, but she couldn't help it. In her eyes she was still that newly qualified nurse that was no more than a kid, not the Sister and soon to be mother herself. The poor girl had no one else to give a damn and was obviously well used to coping with a lot on her own but why didn't she see she didn't need to?_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Thank you so much Mark and Melvin. I was unsure about how to have Duffy react so I'm really glad you both think that would be like her Thank you so much for your comments really glad you both liked the Ewart bit Massive dedication to you both for this chapter and sorry it took a bit longer than I had intended it to. As promised Mark X**_

 _Opening the door to his office Megan pops her head round the door, unimpressed at something. That he knew for sure. Her screwed up face told him that much._

" _I thought Duffy was off today?" Here we go, he did wonder if she'd kick off about that. This was not going to be his day._

" _She was. But she's doing Sally's shift, who forgot she was supposed to get today of for a wedding." Completely entering the room now she shuts the door behind herself. He wasn't getting out of this on easily and the thing was he completely agreed with her. But it was up to Duffy and no matter what he said she would make her work any less._

" _But she hasn't had a day off in two weeks!" He sighs, he could see himself been convinced to talk to her. Megan was not going to back down, it was hard to make her when he agreed with her. He wished he had the day off himself now._

" _I didn't ask her to do it Megan. Don't blame me. Nothing I can say would change her mind. You know that Megan!."_

" _I know, I know Charlie. You need to talk to her about all this working."_

" _Me?! She'll bite my head of!"_

" _Yes you! Your her boss."_

" _I'm not that brave Megan."_

" _Come on. Just a word. She won't listen to me."_

" _What makes you think she'll listen to me? She never listens to me. She never listens to anyone."_

" _She's pregnant and working any shift she can. Someone needs to suggest she works less. It will do her no good. She must be completely exhausted!"_

" _I know. Megan! But she won't listen! Are you going to leave me alone or nag me all day?"_

" _Nag you all day. You know I will."_

" _For gods sake Megan. Fine I'll talk to her. Now please get back to work."_

" _Anything you say Charlie." Winking she heads back out the door pleased she finally managed to convince her slightly cowardly boss to do what needed doing. She would have tried herself but what was the point? She had no power over her, Duffy was her boss. She knew her better than to try that one. Even if it was for her own good. There was only so much she could say to her and she'd already pushed her luck with Duffy over the past few months as it was. She knew her better than to push her too far. With some things she wouldn't care if Duffy didn't like what she said but this wasn't really anything to do with her. Charlie was her boss not her and she had no say in it. Or that is how it was supposed to be anyway. It would be better coming from him._

 _It wasn't that he didn't think Megan was right but he really didn't see the point. He'd tried before to discuss Duffy's shifts and brakes but he'd been sternly told to keep out of it and that she wasn't ill. He knew better than to question her. Still he'd give it a go. Even if it was just to shut Megan up. Why couldn't she say it to her? Heading out his office he peers around admin until he finds her._

" _Duffy?"_

 _The reply came mumbled, a pen in her mouth as she attempted to juggle one to many tasks._

" _Yeah?"_

" _Can I have a word?"_

" _Umm..." She considered if she had time to talk with Charlie but she decided he wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. "Okay. Two seconds."_

" _I'll be in my office." He throws a quick smile as she heads, not that she really noticed. She was far too caught up in putting a box of god knows what away and then finishing the last bit of paperwork she had in front of her. Cursing the fact there was simply not enough hours in the day she quickly scrolls the last sentence before heading into the office, curious._

" _What's up then?" She opts to lean against the door, not trusting herself to have the strength to get up again if she allowed herself to sit._

" _Don't look so serious. There are seats you know."_

" _No thanks. I'm fine here. What do you want to talk about?" She did not have all day to chat. Surely he knew that by now?_

" _I just thought we could discuss your shifts. I noticed they've been a bit full on lately and thought it might be a bit better if they were easier." He almost consider ducking, not that would do him any good but instead of a raised voice he got a very unimpressed sigh followed by a very very fed up tone. Before she began she folds her arms across her stomach, sick of this completely._

" _Charlie. How many times do I have to say this? I am not ill. There is no need to constantly be treating me any different than you used to. I could understand if I was doing too much in my 3rd trimester but not this. I do need the money you know."_

" _I know your not ill Duffy and I don't mean to treat you different. You've only got another what two or three weeks until you are in your 3rd trimester. I didn't say your shifts had to change now did I? Just better to plan this all out ahead. I know you do but two weeks without a day off is a bit much."  
"Do you realise how much everything costs? I still have all my bills to pay as well as find the money for a cot, bedding, clothes, toys, nappies, maternity clothes, furniture, pram and all the other stuff I need. I need the overtime. I know my limits Charlie. I don't want to discuss this again. I'll come to you when I need to change my shifts. I promise."_

" _If your sure."_

" _Yes. Now drop it." She moves her hands to her hips as she rolls her eyes at the nodding man. He could be a bloody nightmare when he felt like it. She really did think they had no idea just how much everything cost. She certainly didn't! The cot and pram were bad enough without all the hundreds of small products that built up and of course that was just the beginning. What about when the baby started school? How was she going to afford all this? How did anyone afford this?_

" _I will. I promise. Just please tell you have a day off soon?"_

" _Tomorrow dad!"_

" _Hey!"  
"Well! Between you and Megan it's like my parents are watching me constantly."_

" _It's only because we care."_

" _I know and I do appreciate it. But I can cope fine. I won't do a shift I can't physically manage. I promise you. Now will you and Megan stop fussing?"_

" _Yes we will. I know you can. Only just making sure."_


	15. Chapter 15

_At last, the moment she lived for arrived. A tea break. She couldn't help but yawn greatly as she curled up with a cup of coffee in her hands. Peace at last._

" _You look happy there."_

 _Smiling up she spots Lucy casually strolling into the staffroom, heading for the kettle._

" _Oh yes. It's the only thing that kept me going through that stream of drunks we had."_

 _Laughing knowingly she nods in agreement. "Oh that did seem to be endless for a while." Flicking the kettle on she turns her back to it, opting to face a very snug looking Duffy instead. "Makes me wonder I do this sodding job."  
"You don't mean that." _

" _No. But it does make me wonder why anyone works in this damn department."_

" _It's no that bad Lucy. Can't say your ever bored."_

 _Laughing sarcastically she rolls her eyes as she finishes making her coffee before stretching out on a chair across from Duffy. "No, never bored. I'll give casualty that one. But the shifts are completely impossible. How does anyone survive on them?"_

" _Do you really hate it that much?" Duffy's eyes betrayed her calm voice, they screaming her worry at Lucy's seemingly deep hate of her job. Maybe she was just mad herself but she very rarely had that moments of why do I work in this department? They all had moments of wishing they didn't do the job but she nearly always loved the department and the people._

" _Yes. I really do. I'm quitting. I've had it. I've applied for jobs in London. Get out of this hell hole. Maybe have enough energy for a life after a shift. If such miracles do happen." It was a speech Duffy had heard many of times before in her nursing career and she supposed she could understand it. But then she'd never struggled to have a life outside work, she wouldn't be resting one of her hands against a swollen stomach if she did that was for sure. But a social life was soon to be a thing of the past for her and she didn't mind one bit. She just wished the baby would hurry up, this pregnancy seemed to be dragging terribly._

" _Really? What departments? I didn't realise you hated it here so much."_

" _Oh various. Hope to get into general surgery with any luck. Most likely still be here a while yet. You know what they're like for getting back in touch." Lucy wasn't a person she expected to become friends with at all and the feeling was mutual. They were so different in their work and came from such different backgrounds. Not to mention the way Duffy had treated her when she discovered she was pregnant, she still felt guilty over that. But now they both found themselves quite close and spent most shifts chatting in the staffroom. Everyone else was so into celebrities, boyfriends or what this couple upstairs where doing that it became a bit tedious. Normally Duffy would be first on all the gossip but right now she just didn't care, she had enough drama this year to do her some time. It was nice to just chat to Lucy about anything. Although normally it usually centred on work, as long as it wasn't constantly on her pregnancy or overworking she didn't care. But now she knew she'd miss her. God it was true. You really can't judge people by first impressions._

" _I know, take their bloody time when it suits them. Good luck though. Hope it all works out." Smiling she puts her now empty cup on the table stretching out her stiffening legs before resting both hands on the top of her bump, now a habit she'd got into._

" _I hope so too. What about you? You considering leaving?" She asked but had a strong feeling she already knew the answer. If she knew Duffy in the slightest she had the right answer before she even spoke a word._

" _No. Never really considered it at all to be honest." She couldn't help but be a little curious, what was she going to do with a baby and a full time job. Not just a normal full time job but a very demanding one at that. It wasn't something she was sure she could cope with alone. Plus how the hell could she afford it? It was highly unlikely that she was going to accept any money from Andrew. Not that she thought he'd refuse her money but that would seem like she needed his help and Duffy sure as hell wouldn't want anyone to think that._

" _What you going to do when you have the baby then? Your mum helping?" Rolling her eyes dramatically she scoffs. Yeah. Right! That would be a cold day in hell._

" _Pfft! As if. She won't even be in the same room as me. They why things are she won't even be seeing this baby. I'll be using childcare."_

" _Not good. Ooh expensive."_

" _Tell me about it! I know my mother basically just doesn't understand why I didn't marry Andrew and won't listen to me. I gave up. Can't be doing with it."_

" _Old fashioned is she? Married then children type?"_

" _So she likes to think so. Lectures me like she is but she's never been married herself. Had me out of wedlock. But different rules apply to me it seems."_

" _Ooh. I know the type. Nightmare!"_

" _Hmm don't I know it. At least I have a good job she was only 20. I think she's got it into her head that she's too young to be a granny." Forcing herself off the chair she knew she didn't have long left on her brake and she should make some attempt to clear away her cup. But her back was far too happy sitting and very annoyed at having to get up._

" _Good luck there."_

" _I think I'll need it." Watching her she couldn't help but notice her movements were getting slower each week. No wonder either, it couldn't be easy to deal with it all._

" _I heard Megan and Charlie are still at you over all your overtime."  
"Hmm. Yeah. They just don't understand how much I have to pay for."  
"Surely Megan does?"_

" _I think she's forgotten how much it all costs."_

" _Maybe. But you've had a few days off now."  
"Yeah and I wish I hadn't. Feel more tired than I did before." Shoving her cup in the sink she couldn't be bothered. Stuff it!_

" _Typical eh?"_

" _Ooh yes. Very typical. Anyway moving off my working habits and nightmare of a mother have you told Charlie you plan to leave?"_

" _Not yet. Not that brave just now."_

" _Don't blame you! Good luck telling management."_

" _Hmm thanks. Not want to do that for me?"_

" _As if! Plus you're leaving to deal with their teenager tantrums. Not helping you in any way."_

" _Charming! Thanks a lot Duffy!"_

" _You'll miss me."_

" _Ooh of course!"_


	16. Chapter 16

_Tying her hair in a tight scrunchy she wasn't all together sure she could be bothered to do today's main task but it was something that desperately needed doing. Sooner rather than later. Not that she could be bothered to anything at all on her days off right now. Now in her third trimester she was well aware time was running out despite the fact she kept telling herself she still had 13 more weeks to go. She knew it would go in fast. Part of her still felt she'd only just found out, until she spotted her reflection in the mirror that was. Her increasingly low energy levels told her just how far gone she was, not to mention her growing bump. But none of it felt real at all, not really. But as she sorted her slightly tatted dungarees she knew there was no mistaking her pregnancy now. The dungarees which were once a few sizes too big, bought only for the purpose of decorating, now only just fit. Not to mention the increasing number of elderly woman at work asking when she was due, attempting to touch her bump and generally crowding her and driving her up the wall. She didn't mind it at first, she was excited about the impending birth and didn't take much persuading to chat about it, that was until the questions about the father started surfacing. They started noticing she didn't wear a wedding ring or an engagement ring and of course felt they had the right to know all about her life. Some judged her, telling her she'd sinned despite her telling them nothing of what happened, and others attempted to find out the whole sodding story. Not that they got far. She never snapped just barley reacted. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of knowing they were winding her up. Plus yelling at patients was more than her job was worth and in public she just couldn't be bothered. Of course her uniform didn't help matters, it seemed to cling around her bump almost as if to bring more attention to it. This baby was hers, no one else's, just hers. She'd thought it a hundred times since her break up but she knew she didn't need a man. She could afford it alone, just, and already loved this baby enough for two parents. Even if in weak moments she wished she hadn't dumped Andrew. Shaking her head in some attempt to break herself from her thoughts she enters the bare room next to hers. This would be finished today. Somehow..._

 _The walls were a dull cream colour, had been since she moved in, she hadn't got a reason to use the room before. But she certainly did now. She originally planned to use it simply as a spare room but never quite got round to sorting it. It lay empty with the odd piece of crap in it. Well until today. The only thing was she had no idea what colour to paint the room. Creams were dull, she didn't want to have it green and couldn't have it blue or pink so wallpaper it was then. Her only real option. She'd picked an animal print, it would do a boy or a girl and she always could change it later on. She wished she only had the room to paper but she also a crib to build, a wardrobe to sort as well as all the other furniture and bits and bobs she needed to do._

 _Glancing at his watch he didn't want to go round too early, he wasn't very sure of Duffy's sleeping habits with her been pregnant and the last thing he wanted to do was wake her. He knew her well enough to know it was not a good idea to get on her bad side. It was her day off and his visit might now go down too well. He hated discussing work on a day off himself but he needed to speak to her and he had to go on some stupid course tomorrow so thought it might be a bit nicer going round rather than a phone call. Or so he hoped anyway. But anyway it seemed late enough now and too late to go back anyway. Walking up to her door he knocks and can't help but glance around, refreshing his memory of her home. It was nice, nicer than her last flat that was for certain. No damp walls with holes in the roof. A sisters pay compared to staff nurse made a hell of a difference._

 _Doing a similar action to Charlie she glances at her clock, wondering who would come round to hers today. Megan was out for the day with her sons, Suzie would call first like most of her other friends and it was hardly likely to be her mother. Must be some salesmen she decided. But it most certainly was not a salesman. Smiling as she clocked on the outline of her boss she opens the door very slightly. A large grin still on her face._

" _I'm not buying anything today thank you." Mirroring her smile he laughs, glad she was in a good mood. Not that she was normally grumpy or anything. But it always nice to see her smile.  
"Ooh madam. You'll want to buy this I promise you." She laughs in return, rolling her eyes. _

" _Oh is that right?"_

" _Yup. Great salesman I am." Moving from the door at last, opening it enough to let him in he notices the obvious signs of decorating. Megan or someone must be round helping her.  
"I bet you are! Coming in then?" He walks into her hall as he answers, in flow with Duffy as she heads for her kitchen. Or so he guessed anyway. He couldn't quite remember the lay out of her flat despite the fact he was one of the guys that helped her move in. _

" _Yeah thanks. You look busy. Am I interrupting? Love the dungarees Duff." Quickly yawning she attempts to hide it as she shakes her head and flicks the kettle on. Not that it really worked._

" _No. I'm just doing the nursery. Haha. Thanks. They're very stylish aren't they?" Taking two mugs out the cupboard she begins to make coffee, not even asking what he wanted, she just knew. He couldn't help but look slightly worried. Surely someone else was here? She wouldn't do it alone would she?_

" _Oh yes. Very. Who's helping you?" Handing him a cup she sits on the chair across from him, looking down at the liquid rather than up at Charlie._

" _No one. I'm not completely useless you know,"What was he thinking? Of course she' do it alone. It was Duffy he was on about after all. Bloody woman. She could tell he was not amused, she knew that look well enough, and the deep sigh confirmed it. He made her feel like a naughty child._

" _Duffy for Christ sake. You should have asked me or Megan to help you! Someone at least. Please tell you haven't moved or built any furniture?!"_

" _Ha. It's not even papered yet!" She didn't dare add more, she didn't wish to get in an argument. Still she was unprepared when Charlie stood, taking his coat off._

" _Right. Come on. I'll help."_

" _Charlie you don't need to. Surely you didn't come round to help decorate."_

" _No, it was only about work. That can wait. You are not doing this on your own. Plus you'll get it done in half the time with me." Getting to her feet herself she rolls her eyes and laughs._

" _Hardly! I've seen your flat!"_

" _Hey! My flat looks amazing. Should be on the front of a magazine."_

" _Yeah...if you say so Charlie."_

" _I do say so! Now shut up and show where I'm going." Smiling she shakes her head, believing more and more that Megan and Charlie were starting to act like parents rather than friends. Still despite all that she really was glad he was helping. Even if she did tease him._


	17. Chapter 17

_She had half an hour yet before she started but the buses did not work in her favour so she opted to attempt to relax in the staffroom until her shift started. She certainly hadn't got the best sleep last night, her growing bump was making it increasingly difficult to get comfy and if by some miracle she did get comfy sure as hell the baby would start moving like crazy. But she didn't mind in the slightest, a night without sleep was a small price to pay to know that her baby was healthy. She'd ended up just sitting in the now completely finished nursery for most of the night. There was no way she'd have finished it in the time she did without Charlie's help. It took more work than she really thought it would. At times she simply forgot that tasks were harder right now. Maybe on purpose. It didn't really help matters that everyone seemed to think she needed watched and help. She wasn't the first pregnant nurse but she didn't remember anyone else getting treated this way. The only difference she could think of was that she was single. Almost like because she didn't have a husband she needed watching. It wasn't true. Yes she had to admit the break up was not easy and she did really struggle to cope with the fact he left so quickly and easily. But it was in the past. It didn't matter._

" _Penny for your thoughts?" She couldn't help but jump, she was so far away in her thoughts to even notice he came in. of course her jumping only made me laugh._

" _Ooh. Don't do that to me!"_

" _Sorry. You okay? You were on another planet there."_

" _I'm fine. Just thinking. Thanks for your help with the nursery Charlie."_

" _No problem. Don't mention it."_

" _I really am thankful. You didn't need to."_

" _Really Duffy. Don't worry about it. Listen if you need help with anything just call me yeah?"_

" _Thanks. But I really can cope. I have to." Pushing her palms into the chair she forces herself up, not the easiest of tasks nowadays._

" _I know you can Duff. But if you need me you know where I am."  
"Of course I do. Your sitting in that chair when we both should be working. Come on old man."_

" _Cheers!"  
"Mother for gods sake! How many times have I gone through this? We agreed to go our separate ways. Okay yes it was what I wanted at first but there is nothing I can do about it."  
"Nothing you can do? Andrew! A woman is pregnant with your child and what are you doing? Having another stupid fling with some doctor!"_

" _I already explained this! She was very clear she didn't want me there! She didn't need or want me. Deal with it. I have. I am not going through this again."_

" _She was scared. Anyone would be! It's just a jolt reaction. She'd feel different now. Unless...she didn't do this on purpose did she?"_

" _I doubt it. I did suggest that at the time. But now when I think about it Lisa just isn't the type on purposely get pregnant. She was so focussed on her career. She seemed genuinely terrified about it." Standing in the doorway she hoped she was hearing this conversation wrong. Maybe they'd forgotten she was in the flat. It certainly seemed so. Who was this Lisa? Andrews ex? Why didn't she know about it? What the hell was going on? Making her presence known she fully enters the kitchen where her lover and his mother were arguing._

" _Who the hell is Lisa?" Oh fu*k. He had completely forgotten Vicky was there. His mum coming round had completely put him off track. Before he could even think of an answer his mum was asking more questions. Today was not his day!_

" _You didn't tell her?!"_

" _Tell me what?"_

" _Mother! Leave us to talk. Please?"_

" _Fine. I'll call you later." Watching her leave the flat he hadn't a clue what he was going to tell Vicky. It wasn't easy to explain. As soon as the front door shut Vicky started. She was not going to let this one lie. That was for damn sure!_

" _What the hell is going on Andrew? Who is Lisa?"_

" _Sit down?" He moves towards the kitchen table and pulls out two chairs. It wasn't a short story after all. But she freezes for a moment, not sure if she wants to hear the truth. There was no real option. She had to know, still she can't keep her eyes on him as she finally sits down._

" _Lisa is an ex. She lives in Holby, I met her when I worked there a few months ago. She was the Sister of A &E. We didn't date very long and the day I came down here for my job interview she found out she was pregnant."_

" _You have a baby on the way and didn't tell me? Or anyone for that matter!"_

" _It's complicated! Let me finish. I was going to marry her, thought we'd move down here. Be a family. But instead she told me she was going to have the baby, keep it and I was to have nothing more to do with her or the baby. It was over, she didn't love me and after a few childish fights we didn't see or speak again. So there you have it. I didn't see the point in telling anyone."_

" _Didn't see the point?! Don't I have a right to know? I see your mother isn't pleased."_

" _A right? I don't even have a right! No. No she's not. She thinks I should a fought more for her."_

" _Your a doctor Andrew. I can't believe you'd be so stupid to end up in this situation. You should know better! What happens if she calls you up? Wants you back?"_

" _She won't Vicky. You don't know her."_

" _No I don't. But I know you. If she called you up you'd be there like a shot."_

" _I'd try to make sure I was on speaking terms with the mother of my child yes."_

" _No. No I can't do this."_

" _Vicky!"_

" _I can't be with you. I would constantly be worrying you were just going up and leave."_

" _I Wouldn't do that to you Vicky! You know that!"_

" _You did it to her. Didn't you? And she's pregnant. What would stop you doing it to me?."_


	18. Chapter 18

_Stretched out in the living room, her hands resting on her stomach, she allowed her mind to wonder, something she did often. Well it wasn't like there was ever anything good on the TV was there? Not through the day. Of course it wasn't like she had the energy to do anything after work was it? She only had 12 short weeks to go, 3 months. That was all. 3 months! That would fly by thanks to work, the joys of 12 hour shifts. Part of her feared she'd never be ready for motherhood but the overriding part of her mind told her she could do it. She'd already do anything that she had to for the baby. Despite that she couldn't get her head round the fact that she hadn't got long to go. At first the pregnancy went so slowly, largely due to the joy of morning sickness, fights and various other wonders of early pregnancy. But through the chaos of everything the rest of it had flown by. Still, she could enjoy the rest of the time she had left. Even if it did go in the flash of an eye. Well maybe until the last three weeks she assumed those would drag. Everyone else had told her they would._

 _As much as it pained her to admit she wasn't at all sure how far gone her daughter was. It was an awful thing to admit she knew that. She hadn't a clue when her first grandchild was due! What kind of grandmother was she going to make? What kind of mother did that make her? Making a guess she expected Lisa was nearing 30 weeks but that's all it was. A guess. They hadn't spoken for weeks, if only she remembered how long ago it was then she might have a better idea. She spent too long been angry with her for stupid reasons but once a friend remarked how well Lisa suited pregnancy, having spotted her in a supermarket, and questioned how long she had left it hit her just what she was missing. Friends had seen her daughter more than she had. It wasn't right. Plus there was the embarrassment of trying to pass off that she couldn't quite remember. She didn't wish to lie, she might get found out, and no matter what other way she went about it she was going to come across as an uncaring bitch. She knew all too well that she'd go back and tell the others, "Kate doesn't even know when Lisa is due. How awful is that? Doesn't she care?" At first she was horrified at the thought but then she realised they were right. She was just some old cow! Wasn't she? Her daughter needed her right now and she wasn't there for her. She needed her all the more since there was simply no one else. Lisa must feel so alone, there was no one there to support her and help her. This was something she'd never experienced and especially in this situation you just wanted your mum there. Her own mother didn't react well when she told she was pregnant with Lisa and at the time she never understood her. Even though back then it was very much frowned upon. But now 20 odd years later times had changed yet she was reacting the same way. But she didn't even have as much right to go off her head as her own mother did. Lisa is in a good financial position, even without a partner in the picture. She wasn't a teenager anymore and mature enough to cope perfectly fine, even if she did prefer she quit her job to do it. Her own mother however had every right to worry. She was only 20 for a start, no well paid job she only worked part time at minimum wage, the father ran off rather than was dumped and she was not emotionally mature enough for the demands of a child. She just couldn't help but be angry at Lisa regardless of it all. She'd always tried to make sure she didn't end up a single parent, trying to teach her that as she grew up. She wanted a different life for her daughter and grandchildren. But now despite it all Lisa had gone down the same bloody route. Still this stupid fall out had gone on long enough and she knew Lisa too well to know that it was going to have to be her to make the first move. Lisa would never give in, not with this. She only hoped she didn't slam the door shut in her face when she arrived at her flat, and of course that she was in. But her daughter was stubborn and a workaholic, even when pregnant._

 _Hearing the door go she couldn't help but roll her eyes before even knowing who it was. She was nearly asleep and very comfy, still exhausted after yesterdays shift. Friday nights had the habit of doing that now. But never mind, she forces herself off the couch and to the door. She thinks nothing of opening the door until it's too late. She just assumed it was Megan or someone. Sadly no._

" _Hello Love." At first she didn't know what to say. What the hell was she doing here? Why now? All she could really manage was a slightly forced "Hi."an awkward silence hung in the air for a moment before her mum smiled, desperate to clear the air. It was obvious Lisa was attempting to shield herself having kept the door closed enough so her mother could only see her face and long reddening hair on one shoulder. Her body was hidden by the door._

" _It's good to see you. I don't want to fight."_

 _Sighing she wasn't sure at first if to let her in or say anything at all but she did agree with her. She did love her, she needed her too and a family feud was the last thing she needed right now. She just simply nods and finally fully opens the door to allow her in. Entering the flat she instantly notices the changes since the last time she'd been here. There was a few empty boxes in the hall, having previously contained parts of a cot, two or three baby catalogues on a small table \and by a quick peer she hadn't missed the fact that the once spare room was now a nursery. Lisa leads her to the kitchen, intending to make coffee or tea, rather than let her get a good look in the nursery. She'd rather talk first, unaware if she was really coming round to start another fight._

 _As Lisa concentrated on making coffee she couldn't help but notice all the changes in her daughter since she last seen her. She was obviously calmer, at peace so to speak and her hair was a more obvious shade of red nowadays, something she expected since hair dye was out the question, she preferred her hair that colour anyway. The strawberry blonde colour she normally dyed it just wasn't her. It was nice to see her natural shade, even if Lisa despised it. Then there was something no one would miss. There was no mistaking she was in her third trimester now! Her balance had shifted and her usual 30mph speed had greatly reduced. Not to forgot her large swollen stomach._

" _Oh you haven't changed how you have your coffee have you? I forgot to ask." She turns and hands the mug, smiling slightly as she gratefully sits down.  
"No love. Still milk and two sugars. Thanks." Sipping on her own tea, having cut out coffee completely, she keeps her eyes on the milky liquid in her hands rather than meet her mothers eyes._

" _Should cut sugar out you know."  
"I thought you had sugar?" She was right. She basically lived off coffee, with far too much sugar, in her early nursing days and during Ewarts night shift. But then they all had. That and as many nights or more often mornings out drinking as they all possibly could. They needed some kind of life to cope with the stress of a casualty department._

" _Now for some time. Only to get me through a difficult night shift. Or the rare day shift."_

" _How is work going?" She got a strong feeling that question meant far more than the simple words meant. Most likely she really wanted to know if she still had a job, had reduced her hours or was on maternity leave. She also knew she wasn't likely to like the answer. But she wasn't going to change her mind on work. She loved her job and had worked bloody hard to get where she was. She had no need to throw it away._

" _It's fine. No different really. Casualty never changes." Kate just smiles once more, not reacting much. Certainly not giving the reaction she'd expected. It was as if she understood. This was strange._

" _No I don't suppose it does." Smiling she just wished this wall Lisa had built around her would fall down. But she knew that might take some time. Maybe it would be easier to get her on the topic of the baby, although she was well aware that might kill the conversation. Lisa was keeping herself to her self and questions about the baby could easily be take the wrong way. She knew that the hard way. "I see your well prepared. The nursery looks lovely from what I seen." she hadn't even noticed her mum glance into the nursery, she doubted she took much notice of the flat at all. This certainly was a new experience. A mother that was interested. For some reason it scared her. As stupid as she knew that was. It was almost like waiting for a nasty surprise._

" _Thank you. I'm just glad it's finished at last. Although it didn't take long once we got going with it."_

" _We? You know what your having?" Oh not questions about Charlie. Not again. She did love to discuss Charlie often. She wished she could lie to her but it wouldn't work._

" _Charlie. He came round to talk about work and ended up helping. Oh no. Didn't want to know." Hmm Charlie. That was her boss right? The curly haired passionate one. If she remembered right. He seemed nice. Not that she knew him well, she'd only met him once by accident. He'd come round to talk about some protest at some meeting to re open the night shift when she was over once. She had to admit at the time she didn't like that he encouraged her daughter in these protests. She had already been arrested for them once. Her daughter never needed encouraged much in protests and it terrified that she got involved in them. Anything could happen and she nearly had a heart attack when she eventually admitted she'd been arrested. But the more Lisa talked about him the more she liked him. On the odd occasion, more so in the last year, she had inquired if something more was going on but she was always met with heavy protests that they were just friends. Plus he was seeing someone and Lisa was still getting over Peters sudden death, not that she knew much about him or much about he died._

" _That's good of him. This the same Charlie you've told me about? The curly haired one with the strange jacket? Better as a surprise isn't it?" She couldn't help but laugh. Of all ways to remember him. He'd sure be pleased at that. He adored that jacket, even if everyone else wondered why. His fashion was and still is very unique._

" _Yes that Charlie. He doesn't have that jacket now mum. Yes it was good of him but mum he is still just my boss and friend."_

" _Oh I know that. Not saying otherwise Lisa. When you due?" Hmm this was going too well. When were the questions about Andrew going to start? They had to if she wasn't questioning her and Charlie been together. Well instead of waiting she'd get in first._

" _Good. Just under 12 weeks. Before you ask I'm not in contact with the father either."_

" _I wasn't going to ask Lisa. It doesn't matter anyway." Her face showed her confusion. Was this really her mother talking? What the hell had happened to her? She couldn't help her mouth dropping in shock. "What?"_

" _I was thinking. I'm sorry for how I reacted. Me of all people should understand and instead I behaved ridiculously. It doesn't matter if your in contact with the father. I had no right to say you should be. I don't know him after all. Your more than capable of coping alone, you don't need support from anyone. But I want to be here to offer mine." She never thought she'd hear her mother say anything like that. Not for one second did she think she meant any of it. She did think she should be in contact with Andrew, she knew that but she cared enough to lie about it and that meant just as much really. To her anyway. But part of her wondered if this was some joke._

" _Really?"_

" _Really Love."_


	19. Chapter 19

_Tip toying through in to the on call room he was frightened to wake her. He feared she'd pushed herself far too much. They'd already done 12 hours before explosion in the city centre, checking his watch to make sure, and that was 11 hours ago now. He'd put her on the less stressful of the sections but it was pointless. She still seemed to get as much drama and ended up in resus regardless. He wasn't the only one worried about her, he'd seen Megan give her worried glances and Lucy had worryingly questioned her presence in resus. Not to mention she was lifting patients and pushing trolleys, something he was trying to make sure she didn't have to do. It was part of the job but the less she had to do it the better, more so after a full days shift. But he was reminded that it was Duffy he was dealing with quite sharply, not that he expected anything less really, Having got a patient quickly into crash she was out of breath and obviously exhausted but showing pregnancy didn't change her bit his head of for suggesting she should go home. He'd made a point to keep a closer eye on her after that, as long as she didn't catch on. Which thankfully she didn't. It was only half an hour ago, after 22 and a half hours working, that she finally gave in and went up to sleep. Or rest for a bit as she put it. It had quietened down and it was only the staff rota they had to sort now, there was no way anyone could do three shifts in a row. But he didn't want Duffy getting involved in all that, If she got at least half an hour to sleep before doing anything else it would be something. He wanted to make sure she was okay going home, not waiting for some bus, so told her to go relax and he'd take her home in a while, thankfully she agreed. Only problem now was he had no choice but to wake her. He'd tried to be as quick as possible, the longer he left her asleep the worse she'd feel when she woke._

 _Two days had past already since the explosion and she felt worse rather than better. She didn't plan on falling asleep when she eventually went to rest in the on call room but as soon as she sat down she just couldn't keep her eyes open. The next thing she knew Charlie was trying to softly wake her up. Poor soul. Now she was curled up nearly asleep on the couch attempting to motivate herself to move. Her flat desperately needed tidied but it took all her energy just to get out of bed and dressed never mind doing anything else. Worse still she was due back to work tomorrow but at this rate she'd be lucky to get out the flat. She'd never been so grateful to get a lift home as she was the other day, even if the thought of just walking to Charlie's car filled her with dread. She knew at the time she'd pushed herself too far but now she really felt it in all. Nearly asleep on the sofa she takes a few moments to resister that the noise is her door and a few more moments to realize she had to move to answer it. Cursing herself for refusing Charlie's suggestion to go home when she had a chance she forces herself off the couch to answer the door, she only hoped it wasn't her mother. That was the last thing she needed right now._

 _The moment she locked eyes on her she knew something wasn't right. She'd of course seen Duffy, many of times, exhausted after a horrible shift, or double shift but this was completely different. She'd never seen her eyes so heavy and the way she stood gave it away._

" _Hey Megan. Coming in?" Moving from the doorway she tried to sound more energetic than she felt or looked but it was in vain. She just didn't have it in her right now and Megan knew that._

" _Oh love. You sure your up to a visit?" Shaking her head she rolls her eyes, attempting to convince her that she wasn't as ill as she might look. But once more Megan was buying none of it._

" _Don't be stupid. Come in. Excuse the mess though."_

 _Following her through she couldn't help but notice how slow and almost painful her movements looked. It was obvious she was completely worn out and there was no way she was fit to work. Before even thinking of sitting Duffy turns to her, one hand on the sofa._

" _Oh sorry. I forgot to ask. Do you want coffee or something?"_

" _Don't worry about that. I'm fine. Just sit down." Slowly, whilst holding onto the arm of the sofa, she eases herself back to sitting down. It wasn't an easy task whilst pregnant anyway. Sitting near her she couldn't help but worry._

" _Have you seen your doctor?"_

" _No, no I've not." There was no pointing telling Megan she didn't need to, it would be a bare faced lie. She knew too well that it was highly likely she'd need to be signed off work for a week at least._

" _Your not going in tomorrow are you?"_

" _No. I'll call Charlie later. I need to discuss maternity leave and that with him anyway."_

" _When you planning on leaving?" She couldn't say she was looking forward to Duffy leaving, work would be a nightmare for a while without her, but the knowledge she was relaxing, sort of, at home reassured her. A &E was no place for pregnant nurses. _

" _36 weeks. I can't see myself managing to work past then. It's dangerous enough as it is. I'll reduce my hours first though. I can't keep working Friday and Saturday nights." It was getting to the point where she was scared to come in at those times. There was too many careless drunks in, gang fights the lot. She was pushing her luck as it was without trying to treat a raging drunk with a knife._

" _No, you've already been attacked once." Megan of course was referring to the other week, she'd got in the way when a patient tried to push her mother off the trolley and successfully pushed her over too. Luckily all she got was a cut face but she couldn't help but fear the worst at the time._

" _Well I just got in the way that time. But it didn't make it any less scary."_

" _I can imagine! I still think you should have reported her. At least Charlie came back from his course when he did. "_

" _Oh Megan it wouldn't have helped. It wouldn't make me feel any better. Oh yes! I don't know what I would have done if he was still away the other day. It was bad enough without a major accident to add to the mix."_

" _They expect you to deal with too much Duffy."_

" _I am the Sister Megan. What they expect me to do is my job. I know that."_

" _I know but you need to take a step back. Surely you see that? You can't keep going on the way you are. Your pushing yourself too far."_


	20. Chapter 20

_Yawning as she runs a brush through her hair she glances at the time, Suzie would be here any moment and she still wasn't finished getting dressed. She'd told herself she wouldn't sleep past eleven but the next thing she knew it was half twelve. This was happening a lot more often than she liked. Ever since she'd been signed off work all she wanted to do was sleep. But it wasn't helping, not really. Not doing anything only made her worse. At least today would be slightly more productive with Suzie and her little boy Alexander, who just turned one, coming round for lunch. She hadn't seen them in a while, not with work been so hectic, and it was always good to catch up. Plus Suzie always liked to be kept up to date on gossip from the department, despite the fact she knew very few on the staff now. So many people from the original night shift had left and she had to admit she missed them all sometimes. But what she didn't miss was trying to pay the bills and eat at the same time and having to just pick just one or the other in the end. But in reality times were still more simple back then. In the beginning anyway. She'd never choose to go back then no matter what. Pulling the once oversized jumper over her head she attempts to walk at the same time having not got ready enough time. On hearing the doorbell she cursed herself even more than before. Why couldn't she be ready on time for anything these days? It all seemed just such a effort. Even getting dressed. Well at least she didn't need to leave the house day. That was always a bonus._

 _She still didn't look herself, that was for sure. Her usual sparkle of mischief wasn't there just exhaustion. Duffy always was dedicated to her job but she used to have the balance of a normal life and work right, well as much as possible anyway but more recently it seemed to be her whole life. The past year she had been worrying she was pushing herself too far, picking up on Megan and Charlie's bad habits. Her break up with Andrew only confirmed it in her eyes. Well at least work wouldn't be her whole life for too much longer. She knew that personally, she also knew what a shock it would be to Duffy. Despite the fact you always think your prepared. You never really are._

 _On opening the door she barely gets `hello` out before Alexander shoots past her and into the flat. Laughing she moves from the doorway to allow Suzie in._

" _He gets faster every time I see him. He'll outrun me now." Smiling she follows her son in, who by now is already in the living room._

" _Won't take much to out run you right now. How you feeling now?" She could tell just by the look she was receiving that Suzie had been in contact with either Charlie or Megan. This would be fun._

" _Hmm I know. I'm getting there. Coffee?" She always had such vague replies when It came to asking how she was doing. Always. For as long as she'd known her, sometimes she wondered if Duffy even knew herself. Did she just worry so much about everyone else and everything else that she hadn't a clue how she was doing herself? It sounded likely._

" _Oh no thanks. Best go make sure trouble isn't ripping your living room to shreds."_

 _Curled up on the sofa she watches Alexander toddle around the room playing with various toys. He was so big already, that scared her. Suzie had one eye on her son but was sure as hell she was going to get more than half sentences out of Duffy today._

" _You talking to your mother yet?"_

" _Yeah. She came round last week. Said sorry." Vague as always. In all the years she'd know Duffy she'd never once seen her get on well with her mum. Anyone that knew the pair well enough would have guessed Kate wouldn't take well to the news she was pregnant. But she didn't think it would go on this long. She was glad they were finally talking._

" _That's good!"_

" _Hmm," Part of her couldn't help but worry it wouldn't last. She knew her mum too well._

" _Hmm?"_

" _You know what's she's like. Give her a few weeks and she'll have changed her mind again. She'll go back to wanting me to contact Andrew and give up work."_

" _Most likely. You heard from him?"_

" _Of course not. Even if I did I wouldn't have anything to do with him."_

" _Your stubborn."_

" _So are you. You and Rick aren't together anymore."_

" _That's different. We just aren't right together. He still has Alex every other weekend."_

" _It's just too complicated with Andrew and Me. Plus he decided to live in London. I didn't make him."_

" _No. I know you didn't."_

" _His career is more important than his child. We are both better off without him." She did have a point. Rick however always adored Alexander, he was always the most important person. The way it should be. Andrew however appeared to have his priorities completely mixed up._

" _Maybe your right. Talking about careers when you going back to work?"_

" _Next week. My GP wants me to go part time."_

" _Would do you good. You can't keep pushing yourself so far."_

" _I know. It isn't like we have explosions in the city centre every day though. Is it?"_

" _Yes I get that but you know what I mean."_

" _I do. I will have a chat with Charlie. I need to discuss maternity leave with him anyway."_

" _You sure your okay to go back next week?"_

" _I'll be fine. I might not feel great right now but I do feel so much better than I did. But never mind all that. I want to know what trouble has been getting up to. Come on. Fill me in." She smiles greatly as Suzie finally gives in and changes the topic. At last._


	21. Chapter 21

" _You and Vicky defiantly over then?" James peered at Andrew interested in what he was going to come out with. No one would call Andrew's life dull, not in the past year that was for sure. Plus he had to make sure he wasn't going anything stupid, he did have that habit. Although he wasn't sure how he could beat getting a nurse in another city pregnant. Although he did have a horrible feeling Andrew was about to prove him wrong._

 _He simply looks up from his drink and speaks in a very matter of a fact tone, cold almost. It gave the strong impression he wasn't cut up about it in any way. That or was hiding it well and that usually was not his style._

" _Yeah defiantly." Going back to his drink he hoped that was the end of talking about his love life, or rather skill in mucking it up. Surely he'd rather chat about work?_

" _You don't seem that bothered by it mate." Obviously James had other ideas._

" _To be honest I'm not. Vicky and me were never really serious it was hardly going to go anywhere. Just a bit of fun."_

" _You thought that about Lisa." He didn't know if he really wanted to get Andrew back on the topic of Lisa but he knew he was most likely still thinking about her. She'd come up eventually.  
"It's because of Lisa that Vicky finished with me." Now that wasn't expected. The reason yes but he thought Andrew would finish things. Hmm. Confusing. _

" _What's Lisa got to do with it?"_

" _Vicky found out about her." Not so confusing anymore. That did explain a lot. Why on earth did he tell her?_

" _Oh."_

" _Yeah oh."_

" _That sure is a quick way to end a relationship, admitting your ex is pregnant with your child in another city."_

" _I didn't mean for her to find out. She overheard my mother and me arguing about it."_

" _Obviously didn't take it well then?"_

" _That's an understatement. She's convinced Lisa will call me up and want to get back together and I'll be off like a shot."_

" _Well, you would."_

" _Of course I'd want to be on talking terms with the mother of my child but that will never happen. Lisa will never call me and I'd never dump Vicky for that. Which I told her."_

" _She not believe you then?"_

" _No. She said..." he had to admit he hadn't take Vicky's word easily. It rang a lot of truth and it hurt."She said if I could walk out on Lisa when she's pregnant then what would stop me doing it to her?" Putting his finished mug back on the table he finally looks back up at James. Before he even had a chance to think of an answer Andrew continues. "She's right. I should never have come back to London."  
"Not this again Andrew. Come on. Your going on like a woman! Lisa finished with you, what did she expect you to do? Sacrifice your career for nothing? She wanted to go it alone. Drop it and move on with your life."_

" _No she didn't expect me to sacrifice my career for nothing she expected me to sacrifice it for our child. I did what she expected me to do. Ran as soon as I got a chance. She most likely finished it out of fear that I'd run off."_

" _You really are sounding like a woman and thinking like one. Maybe she just wanted a baby, she's now pregnant what use are you now?"_

" _I've got to go back. I've got to speak to her."_

" _Andrew! Your wasting your time."_

" _I can't just sit here and do nothing. My mother is right. I've got to speak to her. Now we've both had more than enough time to come to terms with it."_

" _Don't be an idiot mate."_

" _I'm not. I was an idiot when I left."_

" _There is no talking to you!"_

" _How you feeling now?" He nods towards the seat across from him, not yet convinced she was ready to return to work. Smiling she greatly accepts the chance to sit down, having already started four hours before Charlie._

" _I'm fine Charlie. Feeling almost normal again. How about you?"_

" _Almost? I'm fine. I don't think one of us was still in practice of doing double shifts. It'd been a long time."_

" _Well as normal as I'm going to feel this pregnant anyway. No I've not down one since last year."_

" _I think it's been about the same for me."_

" _Not so easy when your out the loop. Oh before I forget and before my GP shoots me I need to get maternity leave all planned out." He couldn't help but laugh, she was right though she really did need to plan it all out. But neither her or himself were good at having things planned when they were supposed to have._

" _Oh Yes. We best sort that out. When were you thinking about? Last time you spoke to me you thought at 36 weeks. Still going with that?"_

" _Yeah I think that's best. But I think the major accident proved I just can't do these shifts. My GP suggested shorter shifts until then/"_

" _Yes I think that might be the best option. Easier on you. No point in you completely exhausting yourself everyday."_

" _No I know. You know I'll be bored within two days on part time shifts." Laughing he knew all to well she would be but then he didn't know anyone in the department that wouldn't be._

" _I know. But you'll be addicted to daytime tv before you know it." Horrified she shakes her head, laughing all the same._

" _No! God I help me!"_


	22. Chapter 22

_Approaching the door he couldn't shake the nerves that were building up inside him. He hadn't a real clue how Lisa would react to seeing him again, if she opened the door that was. Getting Lisa to answer the door was going to be enough of a mission never mind managing to talk to her. Still he had to try and get through to her. This couldn't wait. He was very quickly running out of time and it would be all the more difficult to change this situation after Lisa had given birth. Realising he'd just stood staring at her door for a good ten minutes he braves it and forces himself to knock._

 _Pulling into a space she had a little time before her shift started, she had to admit not having to rely on buses anymore was wonderful. At first she had no intention of getting a car, more so with a baby on the way, but having got into a conversation about it at work some weeks ago someone pointed out it was a must have with kids. Especially when they were babies and constantly going to appointments here there and everywhere. It was no fancy machine and second hand but it ran and was cheap to tax and insure. It was perfect for now. At least if she ran out of nappies or something she didn't need to catch a bus and of course she didn't end up an hour early for work or running to make it on time, which was certainly not possible whilst heavily pregnant. She'd always meant to get a car once she'd been promoted but under the stress of it all and the distraction of Andrew it had completely disappeared from her mind. Until now that was. The next problem was she wasn't sure she was going to fit behind the wheel for too much longer. They really didn't make cars for pregnant woman did they? But then at least maternity leave wasn't too far away. Only a few more weeks to go._

 _Just a look she told herself. Just have a look around the shops. Hmm. It never worked but at least she tried. More medical books she didn't need as well as various clothing items she really didn't need. As she huffed the bugs around she glances across the street. It couldn't be. But it was. Andrew was crossing the road in Holby. What on earth as he doing hear? He hadn't spotted her yet, or if he had he was pretending he hadn't. Maybe he was embarrassed after the last time they'd seen each other. Or so she hoped anyway. Still she didn't wish to be rude and she did like the guy. Moving her bags into one hand she walks towards him._

" _Andrew?" He seemed to take a few moments to make a connection with the voice calling his name but when he finally did he turns smiling._

" _Lucy! How nice to see you."_

" _Didn't expect to see you in Holby Andrew." She really did like Andrew, he was one of the few ambitious doctors she knew that wasn't really arrogant about it. A rarity she found. If she were to be truthful she didn't really understand Duffy's reasons for breaking up with him, not 100%, but then she wasn't in her shoes._

" _I didn't expect to find myself here again." His voice sounds deflated, his eyes confirming it, but she was too caught up in her joy at seeing him she didn't even notice._

" _Here to see Duffy?"_

" _Trying to yes. But she's not home. Or just not answering the door." He forces a soft smile, trying to make it seem like it wasn't bothering him as much as it obviously was. Again Lucy didn't notice._

" _Ah well she's most likely at work right now." His face creases in slight confusion as did Lucy's. How little does he know Lisa?_

" _Work? She didn't leave then?"_

" _Ah! Well she hadn't left last time I met her and that was only a week ago." He didn't know why he expected to her leave, she never said she would and up till now he assumed she'd still be at Holby. If she refused to give up her career for his why would she give it up because she was pregnant? But for some reason he still found it shocking for it to be confirmed. Surely she wouldn't cope with a baby and running an A &E department? Maybe deep down he thought she'd have changed her mind. Still he didn't really wish to get onto that conversation with anyone. _

" _You left A &E yourself then?"_

" _Yeah only just. Look why don't we don't we go to a Café for a drink? It's hardly warm here."_

 _The place Lucy picked was nice enough, at least it was warm, but he had to admit to himself he didn't want to be here. He wanted to be sitting somewhere talking to Lisa. But it was looking less and less likely._

" _You trying to get back together with Duffy?"_

" _I don't know. I doubt that will happen. But I can't leave things the way they are."_

" _Does she know your in Holby?"_

" _God no. We haven't spoke since I left."_

" _So you just were going to show up?"_

" _Better than trying to get to answer the phone."_

" _Is it? At least she'll have some time to think what she wants to say to you."_

" _She won't answer/"_

" _She might shock you. But just turning up won't go down well Andrew. You know that. Look what happened the last time you both spoke without having time to think it all through"_

" _I didn't think of it that way."_

" _Maybe you should write to her first, give her time to take what you have to say in before turning up."_

" _But I'm running out of time. She's due soon."_

" _You have time. You don't want to mess it up anymore than it already is. For your child's sake."_

" _Maybe your right..."_

" _I'm always right Andrew." Smiling she takes another sip of her drink, hoping Andrew takes her advice._


	23. Chapter 23

_Leaning back in her seat she couldn't help but yawn, she had to admit she'd already got out the habit of been up so early. A short time off work sick and she was already back to old habits. Charlie wasn't helping matters, he did seem to be giving her the afternoon shifts, thinking he was helping, which just encouraged her to lie in bed all morning. Not helpful. But not so today, despite the fact she wasn't working until two this afternoon, she'd agreed, for some unknown reason, to meet her mother for breakfast. It was something her mother found very strange at first, meeting her daughter for breakfast who'd ever heard of a strange custom? But the longer she worked on the night shift the more she got used to it and now it was just normal. Not that they met very often, usually her daughter worked so much she had no time and of course Kate liked to travel. Well she wasn't married and had the money so why stay in boring wet Holby? But still when she could she did enjoy meeting up with Lisa. But for once they weren't meeting a joey's , a small café that was more or less in half way from each others house, it was a good meeting place and they didn't cost a fortune. But instead Duffy was at her mums, something she was yet to find a reason for. It wasn't like her mother couldn't afford it and if she couldn't Duffy would pay. She planned on paying anyway but Kate insisted on her coming round to hers. It wasn't just that, if had been she wouldn't have thought anything of it really. But she'd not stopped fussing over her, refusing to let her walk over or walk to work, despite saying she could drive over herself but even that wasn't good enough. She'd expect this from Megan but not her mum. This wasn't at all like her. Keeping her eyes on her mum she was not going to let her get out of this one. What had got into her?_

" _Come on mum. Tell me the truth. What was so bad about meeting at Joey's?"_

" _Nothing, I just thought it would be nice here."_

" _Hmm. Nice try. Come on. We always meet at Joey's. You didn't even let me walk here."_

" _You need to save you energy love." Sighing she finally sits up in the chair, knowing full well what was going on now. Although still surprised it was her mother reacting like this._

" _Mum come on. I've still got a while to go yet. If I'm fine enough to keep working then I can cope with walking to work. Plus I could of driven myself here." Rolling her eyes at her daughter she was desperate to get through to her. Not that she really had much chance._

" _A while to go? You've got 8 weeks! That's just 2 paydays away. That's if you make it that far. You could have just 5 weeks." Two paydays! What a way to describe it. Although she had to admit that was a scary way to think of it. It made it seem oh so closer.  
"Mum! I'll be fine. Everyone at work watches me constantly anyway." Groaning she leans away from her daughter, frustrated out of pure worry. Duffy couldn't help but think how much worse she'd be if she knew she'd been attacked a few weeks ago. She really would freak out and she wasn't fully aware of why she was off work sick. _

" _Work! You shouldn't even be there. Casualty of all places. It's dangerous."_

" _It's not that bad mum. I'm not working Fridays or Saturdays any more and shorter shifts. Plus I'm leaving at 36 weeks mum. No earlier. I'd rather have more time with the baby before going back to work."_

" _Hmm. I still think your pushing it. You could go into labour by then. More so if you still working. What you going to do about childcare? When your working?" It was no sure convincing her work was alright, she just wasn't going to answer that kind of questions anymore. It wouldn't get her anywhere. Although she knew the childcare questions were not going to go down well either._

" _A babysitter, what else would I do?"_

" _A babysitter?!I couldn't do it. You'd never know if you really could trust them. Plus what if you miss the baby's first words or first steps?"_

" _Mum stop it!"  
"Well how do you know you can trust them? You of all people should know that. They could be mistreating the baby or anything." The mere thought of that made her feel sick with terror, she didn't want to go down this road. She cursed herself for letting her get to her as she furiously tried to blink away her tears. _

" _Mother! Please just shut up!"_

 _She'd been sitting with the pen in her mouth just frozen to the spot for fifteen minutes now. Something was wrong or she was exhausted. She hadn't been right all day . At first she assumed it was just stress or something, she did have a lot going on but it was something more. Walking up to her she places a hand on her shoulder._

" _Duffy you okay?" She turned slowly, like she still had reacted to another presence been there._

" _Hmm? Yeah I'm fine."_

" _Sure? You've been distracted all day."_

" _Just thinking." She turns to face Megan but stares at her hands instead of facing her eyes. Letting her features fall she sits next to the Sister, still looking straight in her eyes even if Duffy couldn't meet hers._

" _About? Come on Duffy. What's worrying you? Keeping it to yourself won't do you any good. "_

" _Work after the baby's born. I won't cope. I mean how do I get the balance right? What if I miss their first words or steps? And how I can trust anyone? They could be abusers or anything and I wouldn't know!"_

" _Duffy you can't think like that. What got you worrying about all this? Have you been watching daytime TV or something?" She couldn't help but laugh as she shook her head. She wished it was daytime TV. But the truth was she just couldn't get what her mum said out her head. It was there nagging at her all day, she was right. How the heck would she know? She'd seen parents in here with seriously ill kids because they'd trusted the wrong person. What if that was her?_

" _No. I wish it was just that." Her face falls once more as she finally looks up at Megan. "I went to breakfast with mum today. She's worried about me. Made me think of stuff I didn't even consider." Taking the younger woman's hands into hers she speaks firmly, annoyed that her mother had managed to scare her so much. She'd not seen Duffy so scared about the impending arrival since she first found out about the baby. Now it seemed she was right back at square one. What the hell did her mother say to her?_

" _Duffy Duffy. You can't think like that. You will cope. You won't miss anything, you'll be a great mum. Nothing like that is going to happen. Don't listen to your mother she is just trying to scare you into leaving work. Nothing more."_

" _She's just worried about me. I can't get it out my head. Anything could happen."_

" _That may be but she had no right to scare you like that. None at all."_

" _But she's right Megan! What do I know about anything? I'm clueless."_

" _You know as much as any other first time parent and you mother bloody knows that. Don't let her scare you. I'm here for you. Any questions you might have. Your going to do just fine Duffy."_

" _I'm sorry Megan. I'm just been hysterical. I don't know why you put up with me. You have enough on your plate."_

" _Don't say that. Your not been hysterical and I don't. I'm supporting you. It's what friends do."_

" _I don't know what I'd do without you. I really don't." Smiling she just holds her hands tighter, unable to push away the growing anger at the poor girls mother. How could anyone scare her like that? She obviously didn't know how much she affected her daughter. Or she hoped she didn't._


	24. Chapter 24

_Staring at the letter she gripped in her hands she just sat there not having a clue what to do or think. It was the last thing she expected or wanted. It was just so out of the blue and why now? Why had he waited so long to write? She was due 7 weeks for Christ sake! Not to mention she was going on maternity leave In under three weeks time. He had months to do this and if he'd done it earlier she might well have listened to him, or given him a chance but now? She wasn't sure she could. She had enough to do without all this staring again. No. things were best left the way they were. She wasn't going to allow herself to be hurt again. Only a fool would. Crunching the paper up into a tight ball she chucks it against the wall before grabbing her bag and rushing out the apartment. If she didn't get a move on she'd be later for work and the last thing she wanted to do was have to explain why. She knew someone would attempt to change her mind if they found out Andrew had got in contact again. No. they both agreed to part their ways and nothing was going to change that. He got his career, the most important thing to him, and she was not going to let their child be second to anything. If he couldn't put the child first then he wasn't seeing the child at all. That's the way it was going to be. Andrew was a career man and always would be. Nothing was going to change that._  
" _Sister? Can you see to the woman in two? Just a burn. I'm sure you can manage that."_  
" _Yes doctor." Rolling her eyes she heads to the cubical gladly, anything to get away from that man. Lucy's temporary cover was nothing more than a pompous ass. She found herself missing Lucy terribly, something she never thought would happen when she first met her. But this guy was unbelievable. He down right refused to call any of the nurses by their names but instead just rank or simply 'nurse', even Charlie. He also had a habit of adding 'If you can manage that.' or something similar in his contradicting tone to the end of any request to her. He never did it to anyone else just herself. Purely because she was pregnant. Ooh he really did know how to wind her up. At least he wouldn't be here long. Or so she hoped. If not at least she wasn't going to be here much longer. She wasn't going to last much longer before she answered him back. Clearing her thoughts she heads into cubical two where a young woman was sitting with a baby in one arm and a nasty burn down her other arm. Ouch. Smiling she introduces herself before beginning to clean and dress the burn._  
" _Looks sore. What happened?"_  
" _Cooking, got distracted." Smiling she address the 6 month old baby boy in the woman's arm._  
" _This little heart breaker distract you?" The woman laughs and shakes her head._  
" _No the cat jumped on the units."_  
" _Oh, animals eh?" Noticing the pram beside the trolley she continues "Why don't I put him in his pram?" The little boy was sound asleep, something he most certainly wasn't earlier, the sound of howling echoed the department only fifteen minutes ago. The woman smiles and nods._  
" _Yes please. I'm just glad he's asleep." Placing the wipes down she carefully takes him into her arms before putting him down again in the pram._  
" _Aww he's lovely. What's his name?"_  
" _Robert. 6 months old yesterday. Can't believe it. It goes in so fast."_  
" _Lovely name. I keep hearing that. It scares me." Laughing she goes back to treating the woman's burn._  
" _This your first then?"_  
" _Yeah. The pregnancy went in fast enough. I can't picture sleepless nights doing the same."_  
 _Laughing understandingly she couldn't help but think that the nurse hadn't a clue what she had got herself into."It really does. When you due?" Finishing the clean she begins to dress the burn, at least it wasn't too serious. That would be the last thing she needed right now._  
" _Seven weeks now. Right you'll need to go see your GP to make sure it's healing alright but you'll be fine." Getting off the cubical she smiles back as she grabs her coat from under the pram._  
" _Thanks. Ooh not long to go then." Cleaning away the products she no longer needs she'd need to go back out now. Ugh. Back to the pompous git. Any reason not to was enough for her._  
" _No. I'm starting to really freak out now."_  
" _I bet. Don't worry. You'll be fine."_  
" _Thanks." Peering into the pram she smiles."Bye Bye Robert." Standing up she addresses the woman once more before finally heading back out into admin. "Take care."_  
 _Taking a seat gladly just as Megan approaches her she smiles._  
" _Ooh that baby was so lovely." She hadn't failed to notice Megan peering in the pram as they were leaving. You just had to do it._  
" _Wasn't he just? So small too." Sitting next to her she smiles as she files away some rotten paperwork. It was never ending really._  
" _He's quite big. You've not got long to go now before you've got everyone peering around you."_  
" _I know. I keep jumping from been excited and impatient to freaking out." laughing she remembered the feeling well, it's not one you quickly forget._  
" _That's normal don't worry. Bet your mums getting excited now." Her face falls instantly, that was not a person she wanted to discuss and Megan knew that. She'd avoided talking about her for a few days now and Megan was determined to find out why. The last thing she knew they were talking again and her mum was at least making an effort._  
" _Hmm..."_  
" _Hmm? Love what's gone on?"_  
" _Well she's so excited that she's booked herself a holiday when the baby's due. She won't be here."_  
" _Maybe she booked it ages ago when you weren't talking?"_  
" _No. It's a last second holiday with her friends. She said she needed it and it was the only time her friend could go. Every time I think she's got it and going to be there she ruins it."_  
" _Oh love." Putting her hand on her shoulder she sighs._  
" _It doesn't matter. I don't need her."_  
" _You wanted her to be there?"_  
" _Yeah...I don't know why though. We'd only fall out. Best off she's not there."_  
" _Don't worry. You've got all of us."_


	25. Chapter 25

_Rushing into the living room why did people insist on ringing when she was attempting to get ready? Her hair wasn't dry and she still had her make up to do. She was never got to make the early bus at this rate. Not that she was going anywhere important or was going to be late for anything but she'd stayed in bed longer than she told herself she would. Today was her only day off this week and she really needed to go into the town. Time was running out and she didn't know when she'd get another chance to get those few things she kept putting off and even if she did get the chance she highly doubted she'd have the energy. At 34 weeks she had just two more weeks until maternity leave but by then she did not fancy trying to get round the shops at that stage it was already difficult enough.. Although she wasn't sure how it was possible to get any bigger but Megan had reminded her she said that four weeks ago and lord knows how much she'd grown since then. Pulling down her jumper as she grabbed for the phone she only hoped it wasn't her mother. She couldn't be doing with her right now. She had little patience as it was.  
"Hello?" _  
_"Hello. Lisa is that you?" Lisa? Not many people called her that and very few men. Who the heck was this?At least it wasn't her mother that was something at least. Maybe if she hadn't only got up ten minutes ago she might of realized quicker...if only._  
 _"Yes, who is this?" He could hear the worry in her voice but she obviously hadn't even considered he'd call. If she had he got the awful feeling she'd have hung up already. But he couldn't just sit in London and forget about her. As much as he tried it just wasn't him. He needed to talk to her, he wanted to be there for her and the baby. But it was going to have some job convincing her that he really did want to be there. She was definitely the most stubborn woman he'd ever dated._  
 _"Before I tell you don't hang up on me. Listen to me first." That was all she needed to hear. This could only be one person and she finally realized who the voice belonged to. It could only be Andrew and she only wished she hadn't answered the phone. Her breathing quickens as she nearly yells down the phone at him. Just wanting to scare him off._  
 _"Andrew! For gods sake leave me alone." Pulling her hair out of her face she just couldn't do this. Nothing he said could make her trust him again. She'd let herself trust one too many people that she shouldn't have. No one would make her do that again. It wasn't just herself she had to protect any more. She couldn't let herself feel anything for him any more. Relationships just caused pain and she'd had her fair share of that already.._  
 _"No I'm sorry but I can't just forget about you. It's my baby too you know. I have a right to be there! I want to be there." He was quickly running out of time to make her see sense. Once she'd given birth he knew that wall she was building around herself would be near impossible to break down. Lisa had always been a very wary person even before she got pregnant. She always kept him at arms length and he did get the impression she used him just for sex. Not on purpose but she never let him close enough to find out more about her or why she was the way she was. It drove him mad now but back then he wasn't looking for a serious relationship and was using her just as much as she was using him. He didn't even think about it in the slightest. As she already pointed out he was more interested in going up in his career. But everything was different now and he had to get that through to her. They'd both behaved like children and that couldn't go on. They needed to be on good terms, he'd accepted just been able to be there with her even if he wanted more than that._  
 _"I know that! It's hard to forget! Believe me I've tried! But you picked work Andrew. Work was always more important to you! This baby is not coming second to you! I've told you this all before and your just not listening. I'm not going through this again Andrew. You just don't get it and I doubt you ever will!"_  
 _"Work does not come first Lisa! Of course the baby comes first. The baby always came first! Need I remind you it was you that finished it?! Not me. I didn't want to leave. I made that very clear but you didn't want me anywhere near you."_  
 _"Oh yeah?! Then why did you? I didn't tell you to go to London! You were going no matter what I did or said Andrew. You know that. The fact that I'm pregnant didn't even make you stop to consider staying in Holby. You didn't even talk about London with me. You told me! We were never going to work. All I did was refuse to go with you and refuse to allow you to just be a weekend dad. I'm not going through this again. I don't want to hear from you any more Andrew. If I do I will change my number! Just leave it!" With that she was gone. The line completely dead. He wasn't going to get through to her through a phone or a letter. Not a hope. He only had one more option and she wasn't going to like it._  
 _It didn't matter how much she attempted to explain it to Andrew he just listened to what he wanted to hear. She didn't set out to finish with him that day. Of course she'd rather her child had their father in their life. Every mother wants that and she knew herself how tough not having a father could be. But the last thing she wanted was for him to constantly let the child down and she didn't see how that was not going to happen. He let her down straight away. The one time when she needed him the most, even if she didn't realize at the time, was when she found out she was pregnant and what did he do? Ran straight to London for that bloody job interview. Yes she told him to go but nothing she said would have mad a difference anyway. He didn't even come straight back he stayed and partied with his friends. She knew over that week what her life would be like and she wasn't standing up for it. It wasn't easy and hurt but she had to do the best for her child and herself. Andrew was not going to change and had already proved he hadn't changed in the months they'd been apart. The longer he took to realize that the harder it was going to be._  
 _He didn't even consider stopping and thinking about what she'd just said, even if it was the most open she'd been and the hardest she'd tried to make him understand. Instead he just began to grab his stuff and flung it into a suitcase. There was a hotel close to where Lisa stayed that would have a room free at this time of the year. He had to go back to Holby and this time he wasn't leaving until this was all sorted. He was due a lot of time off and work was sure to understand. They did know his ex was pregnant after all, not that it was his choice to tell them. Vicky saw to that but nothing else mattered right now. He was going to step up and be there even if he wa_ _sn't welcome in the slightest._


	26. Chapter 26

_looking across at the younger woman her eyebrows were raised as she stared down with a confused expression at her hands, almost like she didn't understand them. But Megan had a fair idea what was really going on in her head and it was certainly not any confusion at her hands. She was obviously having an argument with herself but over what she hadn't a clue it could be anything really but whatever it was was seriously distracting her. She hadn't noticed anything wrong with her during the shift but then they'd all been so rushed off their feet that it was highly unlikely she'd have a chance to think about anything personal. Moving closer she places a hand on her shoulder, not that she reacted much. She was very much aware that Megan was watching her but she didn't know if she really wanted to discuss what was bothering her. Part of her worried that Megan would side with Andrew, after all Megan got pregnant then married so maybe she didn't understand why she had chose not to? But then Ted was not Andrew by any means, they were both very different men. It wasn't that Megan been anything but supportive over the past few months after all she'd been her rock and without her god knows what state she'd be in. But she couldn't shake off the feeling that she'd attempt to convince her to give him another chance. She even understood why, anyone would and part of her head agreed. After all Andrew was the father of her baby but it was just too complicated to explain and wasn't worth it. Maybe what was really holding her back was no matter how much she told herself she didn't she still had feelings for him. Part of her still wanted him and wanted to be with him but if she listening to that part of her she knew she'd end up hurt and right now she couldn't handle that._

 _"Something wrong?" Moving slowly she takes a slow breath in before looking up at last. Plastering a fake smile across her face she takes her time before answering Megan._

 _"No. Not really. Just daydreaming." Creasing her features she wasn't buying it at all and Duffy knew that._

 _"Uh huh? You sure?" Sighing she shakes her head, looking confused before shrugging her shoulders. The truth was at this moment in time she didn't know what to think never mind do. Trust Andrew to pick now to turn back up. He couldn't wait until she'd given birth and her hormones had time to settle down could he? Oh no that was far to simple. She was hormonal enough right now without adding all that drama into the mix. The last thing she wanted was to come across as just another emotional pregnant woman."What's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing is wrong Megan. I just don't kno... It's all rather silly. It doesn't matter." She attempts to plaster another fake smile over her face, something she had yet to master._

 _"It doesn't matter if it's silly or not Duffy, something is obviously on your mind. You can talk to me if you want to." Her chest rose and fell slowly as she kept her stuck on her stomach thinking it all through. As she started speaking at last she still couldn't bare to look up for fear of letting her emotions take over._

 _"Andrews been trying to contact me..." Megan couldn't hide the fact that her face fell. It was hardly expected and despite that she believed every child should have both their parents an overpowering part of her wanted to make sure Andrew got nowhere near Duffy. She couldn't help but want to protect the girl from the guy. He'd hurt her enough and she was damn sure she wasn't going to sit back and let him do it again. But it wasn't her decision to make and she could be wrong. Maybe just maybe the guy had grown up. But she doubted it. She had to admit it did explain a hell of a lot. No wonder Duffy didn't seem to be on this planet. She had enough to deal with without all this in all. Reaching out she took the other woman's hand into hers._

 _"You okay? What has he been doing?" Placing one hand protectively over her stomach she finally looks up and sighs once more. She could see the worry in Megans eyes, maybe she was going to side with her after all. The truth was she really did regret with how she treated Andrew but it didn't stop her feeling terrified at going back to that relationship. She'd never felt like this before and was at a loss at what to do._

 _"I'm fine. Nothing really. He wrote to me a week or so ago. I ignored it and ripped it up. But he then phoned me yesterday."_

 _"What did he say?" She bit back at ask more questions. She really wanted to ask what she was going to do, how did she feel about it and how was he with her, she could go on but she didn't want to throw too much at the girl. She watches as she shrugs, trying to remember what he said to her. It all seemed a bit of a blur._

 _"He suddenly wants to be there for the baby and me. Months down the line and he decides to act like a man. What a time to pick! I'm due in a few weeks for Christ sake!" Going back to staring at her hand she shakes her head as she blinks away her tears, cursing herself for letting them fall in the first place._

 _"Oh love. What you going to do? Don't cry, he's not worth your tears."_

 _"I don't know. I really don't. If he'd called me a few months ago I would have considered it but now? It's too late. It's not just me I have to protect now. But no matter what I tell myself I still have feelings for him. I've told myself numerous times over the past few months I'm over him but I'm not. That's why it hurts so..." Stopping dead she stares at the door just as Ash walks in. He smiles a little nervously, having just started this week he wasn't sure what kind of relationship was appropriate with the Sister. They were all different. It was obvious Charlie had a very relaxed approach with his staff but Duffy was more difficult to work out. She was very friendly but for obvious reasons was quite distracted at the moment. He stays stood in front of her, a bit like a child in front of the headteacher for the first time._

 _"Sorry. Am I interrupting?" Pasting her fake smile back on she shakes her head as she addresses Ash. She had to admit she hadn't given him the attention she should have over the past week but he seemed to cope perfectly with his job. She didn't feel she had any need to worry._

 _"No of course not. What's wrong Ash?" Still standing in the same spot he paces slightly._

 _"Sorry Sister but your needed in admin."_

 _"Ash don't call me Sister. Call me Duffy and no need to apologize. I'll see you Megan." She smiles genuinely at his formalness. as she forces her palms into the sofa hard to help her with the not so easy task to get up. Megan instantly gets to her feet and attempts to help her but as usual Duffy shakes her head before adding "I'm fine Megan. Sit back down." As she leaves the staffroom Ash couldn't help but watch her leave. He felt bad, it was obvious she was upset._

 _"Is she alright Megan?" It hadn't taken him along to work out Megan but he had a feeling there was a lot more too her than met the eye. She simply smiles as she pours herself another tea._

 _"Not really but she will be. Just having some personal issues." Personal issues? That could mean anything. But he got the feeling it had to be related to her pregnancy. He quickly found out that everyone was quite protective of her, especially Charlie and Megan. Not that he knew anything of her past or anything about her child's father. He could only guess the guy wasn't on the scene._

 _"With the baby's father?" She forgot Ash wasn't filled in on anyone's past in the department. Normally she wouldn't tell him a thing but odd detail wouldn't do any harm. He hardly seemed the type to gossip anyway. He just seemed to be confused. Well he would be. But she'd check first._

 _"Yeah. He's not in the picture. But then I'm sure the gossips in this place have you all filled in."_

 _"No. No-one has said a thing about her." He pretended he wasn't too nosy as he concentrated on making his tea but the truth was he was. Megan, having finished pouring her tea sits back down._

 _"Oh. I'm shocked there. Well there is not much to tell. She's not with the father, hasn't been for ages. No massive drama really."_

 _"Can't be easy for her."_

 _"No. No it's not." She wasn't revealing anymore. Nothing more needed to be said. It wasn't her place._


	27. Chapter 27

_Knocking on the door his heart began to race. For a split second he questioned himself but only that second. He knew what he had to do. He was well aware just how much of an awful reaction he was about to receive, assuming she was home that was, but it didn't stop him. Not now. His mind was made. This was something he had to do. Maybe deep down it was to ease his conscience on how he behaved when they split, despite the fact she was anything but innocent in what made their breakup so messy, but he couldn't just sit and do nothing anymore. God knows he'd spent too long doing nothing already. It took some time before she answered, but he had expected that since must have been quite far gone by now, although how far gone it wasn't completely sure. As the door slowly opened time seemed to stop or at the most went in slow motion. He didn't know if to smile or not, he knew she wouldn't. She'd only opened a fraction of the door, just so he could only see her face, before that look of horror took over. He'd expected that look, remembered it well. Not that he'd seen it too often. Not until they split up. Obviously he was not who she was expecting to be at the other side of her door. She froze, not knowing what to do for a moment before without one word been uttered she slams the door shut with such force the wall shook. She needed to think again if she thought she was getting off that lightly! He hadn't travelled all this way for nothing. She was going to talk to him if she wanted to or not! Although how he was going to make her see sense he didn't know. This could take some time. "Lisa! Lisa answer the door! We need to talk! Don't be like this!"_

 _Leaning against the back of the door she couldn't help but cry, although cursing herself for doing it at the same time. Despite everything it was a hell of a shock to see him standing there. It was the last thing she expected. Most of her was convinced he was all talk and would eventually get bored and leave her alone. Realise just how easy he'd got out of it all. How much of a cushy life he had, no baby waking him up at 2am. But no. She was wrong. Maybe she just hoped he'd give up but all the time knowing he wasn't going to. Shutting her eyes tight she eventually yells back. But she knew it was pointless. He wasn't going to give up until he'd spoken to her. Even if he left today he'd be back again and again. She couldn't handle this. "Leave me alone Andrew! I don't want to see you!"_

 _"Lisa hear me out. Please! I'm not leaving until you speak to me. It's my baby too." He too leans at the door but he doesn't hear her move and open the door until it's nearly too late. She only opens it enough to reveal her face but its enough for him to nearly fall in the door. Her eyes were upset but furious at the same time, a look he'd never seen in her before. He felt guilty, knowing he'd caused it. She could barely stand to look at him, her teeth gritted in anger._

 _"Don't! Don't you dare use that line on me. If you really cared about this baby it wouldn't have taken you so long to bloody get a grip! You've had months to do this! Why now?! " Shutting her eyes she moves her head away from his stare. Not wanting to see those eyes burning a whole in her. Why didn't he just leave? It broke his heart to see her so upset with him but if he was to fix things between them it was step that needed to be taken. He knew he was stressing her out and had to admit that it worried him. He wasn't going to press her much more into speaking to him. Not today. The last thing he wanted to be the cause of her going into early labour. That was hardly going to help his case plus he really didn't want to put her or the baby in any harm. "Lisa I really do care. That's why I'm here. You know that. I don't want to upset you Lisa. I know I acted like a prat but please believe me I've changed. Please let me in."_

 _Running her hands slowly through her hair she keeps her eyes bolted shut as she sighs, thinking about what he's saying. Maybe it would be best to just get it over with? She had to leave for work soon and she was sure as hell she wasn't going to be late due to calling the police on this idiot. No, she'd never manage to explain that to Charlie, despite really rather liking the idea of getting Andrew forced off her property. She couldn't run from him forever. She'd need to speak to him eventually. Moving slowly from the door she was more worried about him seeing her full figure. She couldn't explain why but she really didn't want him to see her bump. She knew he'd stare, she was hardly showing last time they saw each other and now she only just fit into her uniform._

 _She had her back to him as he walked into the flat, already heading into the living room or so he guessed anyway. It wasn't obvious she was pregnant from behind, he noticed her balance was a bit off but other than that she looked just the same. Her hair was longer and distinctively more red than when he last saw her, although why she'd dye her hair blonde he didn't know. The red tone was so much nicer. Still he knew better than disagreeing with a woman over her appearance. He was pushing his luck enough today. By the time he'd reached the living room she was turning the tv off. He stood in the doorway for a moment, remembering the last time he'd been here. It wasn't all that often, she preferred to be at his flat but now and again they'd stay at hers, usually when she needed to do laundry. Slowly she turned round to face him, both hands on her back. But he barely noticed. Her eyes were at the floor, not looking at him. She didn't want to see him stare. But he didn't notice that either. All he noticed was her swollen stomach clinging to her uniform. Moving her hands she wraps them around herself, breaking him from staring but not by much. It was strange, stranger than he'd expected. He'd thought about it often enough but seeing her made it so much more real. This really was happening and quickly. It suited her well, she glowed and despite the obvious anger she held a him it was obvious she was happy about the pregnancy. "Well? Are you going to stand and stare at me all day or are we going to talk like you demanded?" Breaking himself from his thoughts he finally enters the living room which he noted was quite full of various pieces of baby furniture. Her flat had changed quite a bit since he'd last been here. But then so had she. "Sorry Lisa. Yes. Look I can't just sit in London. I want to be here. With you. With both of you" Sighing once more she turns her head away from him. She simply couldn't trust him like he wanted her to. He'd already ran off once. What was to stop him doing it again? She glances at the clock on her wall, she had to leave soon. "You've done a pretty good job at it so far! I'm due in only five weeks for Christ sake Andrew. Why now? Why couldn't you just stay in London? Leave things the way they were?" It didn't even occur to her that he didn't know how far gone she was. It didn't cross her mind at all. If it had she'd never have said. The last thing she wanted was him turning up in the labour ward. But to him the time hit him like a brick. In only 2-7 weeks he was going to be a father. That's all. It was terrifying. "I know that. I'm sorry. But you made it clear you didn't want me around. I thought I could move on. But I can't. It's because your due so soon that I'm here. The baby needs both of us. You know that. I want to be here. Not just for the baby. My feelings for you have disappeared Lisa. They never will. I miss you and I'm not walking away again. No matter what you say to me." Her eyes finally meet his, taking in his words. It was too much too soon. It was one thing turning up here but too much adding that in as well. Grabbing her coat she begins to leave. "You need to go. I have work to get to." "Lisa Please. Wait. Your still working? It's it dangerous working at this stage in A &E?" "Don't you start! Why do you think I'm wearing this uniform? Fashion? Where do you think money comes from? Trees?! I have to work! Now go!" _


	28. Chapter 28

_Glancing around the department it hadn't changed in the slightest since he left. Not that it was that long ago or that he really expected it to, to be honest. The people had changed though, there were quite a few faces he didn't recognize in A &E but then that happened quite often in these kind of departments. Luckily he hadn't ran into Charlie or Megan, not that he expected them to say anything if he did. They were both too professional for that but he still would rather avoid them. He knew all too well that they'd pass onto Lisa that they'd seen him and she'd sure as hell question him which was the last thing he wanted. It wasn't that he didn't want her to know he'd applied for a job in Holby or that he thought she'd be annoyed. He was sure she'd see that he was making a commitment to her and the baby. but he'd rather they were on better terms before she found out. Plus he also wanted to know if he got the job before he mentioned it to anyone especially Lisa. Walking past the entrance to A&E he spots a nurse he didn't recognize, must be new. He was tall, dark skinned and had that flustered look all new A&E staff got, even if they'd worked in a similar department before. Heading towards him he knew this chap could be of use to him. _

_"Hello. Excuse me is Sister Duffin working today?" Stopping on noticing the man was talking to him he turns and tries to see if he knows the man. He'd never been in A &E, not since he'd started anyway, before and Ash couldn't help but be curious at to why he was after Duffy. At first he assumes it's her ex but then Megan, and a few others, had made it really clear he was not around. Must be someone else. He seemed nice enough. But he wasn't giving him too much information. God knows who it was and Duffy seemed the type not to be pleased about people discussing her no matter what the reasons were. _

_"No Sorry. Mr Fairhead is though. Would you like to speak to him? I can however get someone to pass on a message to Sister Duffin if you like?" Ha! That was the last thing he wanted to do was to speak to Charlie or Lisa to find out about this. At least he knew she would most likely be at home when he went round._

 _"No thanks. It doesn't matter. I'm just a friend of Duffy's thought I'd catch up if she was here. Thanks for your help though." Biting his tongue he cursed himself. He'd just about called her Lisa there. That really would give them game away, no matter how new this guy was he was sure as hell he'd heard what had happened. He'd guess no casual friend would be calling her Lisa. Not once he'd twigged even Megan called her Duffy after all._

 _"I can tell her you were here if you want?" Hmm. He couldn't help but be curious and no one he'd expect to know this man seemed to be around. Maybe he could get his name, that would help. Not that it really had anything to do with him anyway._

 _"Oh no. It's fine. I'll catch up with her another time. Thanks." Taking his chance to go before he got questioned anymore he begins to head out the department. He was risking enough as it was, best to head before he really did it caught._

 _She was quite happily pottering around the flat when the door went. Why could she not just get a normal quiet day off? Why did someone always turn up? She didn't care who it was, she just really wasn't up to any conversation. Yesterdays shift really exhausted her and it was only six hours. They were really getting too much for her to cope with but she stayed strong in denial, choosing to blame Andrews sudden appearance for her exhaustion rather than the real reason of her pushing herself too far. It was easier to blame someone else. Plus he didn't help her. But the real truth was yesterdays shift was maniac due to a large car crash and she was still feeling the effects of running around for six hour straight. Yawning she lets the duster fall onto the sofa before forcing herself out into the hall to answer the door. Just as she reaches to open the door she recognizes the outline of the person she is about to greet. Not him again. When was he going to leave her alone? For a brief second she considered ignoring it and going back to her pottering but the last thing she wanted was him yelling again. The neighbours knew quite enough of her personal life after yesterday thank you very much. Once more she only opens a small section of the door just so he can only see her face._

 _"What now Andrew?" He attempted to smile at her, showing he really was happy to see her, not that he really expected it to work. This was Lisa and she was by no means an easy person to win round._

 _"I want to see you." Turning her head away she considers her reply,telling herself to be nice._

 _"Well I don't want to see you." He got the feeling that each time she did look up it wasn't to look at him but rather to check for signs of anyone listening. It was an easy bet they found more out about her yesterday than they did in the whole time she'd lived there. Not that either of them thought of that yesterday as the stood screaming at each other._

 _"Lisa Please. We need to talk." Shutting her eyes tightly she begins to move from the door, giving in rather quickly this time, and biting back the need to stop him calling her Lisa but then she didn't want him to call her anything. She didn't want him there. But no matter how much she tried to forget he was the father of her child and he did have rights. Yes he had none right now but she knew it would be harder to get on with him once she had the added stress of no sleep and the worry of been a first time mum. She had to make an effort and give him a chance. But it was easier said than done. Her head constantly screamed at her not to trust him again but another voice, a much quieter one, told her to stop denying the fact she still had feelings for him. She could deny it all she wanted but they were still there and him being here wasn't helping her get over them. He had a lot of charm and bloody well knew it. She was terrified he'd win her round and then what chance did their child have of a good relationship with both of them if they split up again?_

 _Following her into the living room once more he had to admit he'd got in easier than he thought. He half expected another argument after she was so cold and short the day before. Not that he blamed her really. If the cards were switched he'd most likely behave just the same. He did understand it wasn't just her she had to protect now. She offered him coffee which he politely turned down before she began the difficult task of sitting down. He could see it wasn't easy for her but didn't want to make out he noticed or offer her any help, she'd only bite his head off. He chose to sit across from her, knowing she wouldn't want him too close._

 _"Shift go okay then?" The eyes said it all, she didn't need to reply but she threw one in there anyway. It was an innocent question and deep down she knew that but a voice in her head told her he was taking a dig at the fact she hadn't given up work. Still she managed to force the reply she really felt like giving him away and be a little more friendly. Only a little._

 _"Surely you've not come round here to talk about work Andrew." Rolling his eyes he can't help but sigh. She really didn't make this easy did she?_

 _"Well no of course not. Just been polite. I'm just trying to be nice."_

 _"You don't need to be." Her voice wasn't snapping or harsh and he knew she was making an effort although he didn't really understand why her protest at him been back was so strong. At least they were both trying to be nice to each other._

 _"I know but I want to be. I'm not here out of some guilt or anything. I'm here because I want to be Lisa." Her eyes finally reached his and this time she_ _ **really**_ _looked at him before letting a little of the wall she'd built fall and even managed a quite genuine smile. She wasn't letting him back into her life, not if she could help it but she couldn't keep him out of the babies. She wasn't that cold._

 _"I know you are Andrew. I'm sorry. I'm not been snappy on purpose. It's just a rather large shock. I didn't expect to see you ever again."_

 _"I know your not and I do understand that. I should never have left in the first place..." She could feel that wall crumbling around her as the other part of her panicky tried to rebuild it. Why was he so charming?_


	29. Chapter 29

_"Milk two sugars?" Twisting to hand him the mug he holds a look of surprise on his face, as he accepts it thankfully off her, why she couldn't understand. It was only tea, hardly a miracle._

 _"You remember?" She had to admit the more he turned up the less angry she was getting at him. She still wished he'd go away and leave her to it but slowly she was beginning to accept that he wasn't going anywhere and that was slightly comforting at the same time. No one would want to go through this completely alone, it was terrifying and without her mother to support her that made it all the more worse. But she still wasn't sure how Andrew would cope when it came down to it. She'd had months and months to prepare and think it all through and he was getting a couple of weeks._

 _"Well Yeah of course. I've made it often enough. Pregnancy brain is that bad you know but my back is. I'm not standing here all day. Living room?" Smiling she heads for the far more comfy sofa compared to the hard kitchen chairs, something she never liked but pregnancy had made her hatred of them all the more strong._

 _"Oh yeah. Sure. You should rest more. Your always on your feet." He didn't know how she managed to cope during shifts, even at part time. It was obvious the more he seen her just how much her back pained her. He didn't notice much at first but today especially it was plain to see that she was struggling. She tried to hide it at first but when she was stood a considerable length of time she'd shut her eyes every so often to cope. But then with less than five weeks to go it was to be expected in her mind. Plus who was he to say she was always on her feet? How the hell did he know? Still she bit back from snapping, it got her nowhere. She knew her working was on his mind. It was on everyone's mind. As she struggled to get comfy on the sofa she leaves him in no confusion about her work._

 _"I'm not. 80% of the time I'm sat here or in an office doing paperwork. Plus I'm going on maternity leave next week anyway. Do you really think I'm running around in resus all day at this stage?"_

 _"Well no of course not but you won't in the office your whole shift. Are you?" He smiled at her fake innocent smile to him, telling him of course she didn't sit in the office all day. He loved that smile. Even if she had said she did he wouldn't believe her. Still she laughed as she answered him, he loved that laugh too. It was so genuine. Each minute he spent with her just reminded him why he used to love been with her. He hadn't even noticed at the time but now it was so obvious._

 _"Look are you here to discuss my shift habits? No? Didn't think so." Laughing in response he shakes his head at her. Happy to see her at ease. It was good to see her not stressed and shouting, it had been some time since he'd seen her that way. He didn't know what had made her change her mind in respect to him but he was glad she had. She'd gone from almost crying in frustration at him to been almost comfortable in his company. He wasn't stupid enough to think it would be easy from here on out. There was a long way to go and they were just beginning._

 _"You didn't even give me a chance to answer there!" Laughing, she nods in reply. If she was to be honest she wasn't sure what had changed. She didn't really want him there but fighting about about wasn't going to help. If he wanted to step up and be there she wasn't going to stop him. She only hoped with all her heart that he wasn't going to run when it got tough. But something told her he would. Still she had to give him a chance. She could only deny his existence for so long. Maybe his charm was just getting to her. He had a way with her that no one else did. She couldn't explain it but she just went weak when he was around, even when she finished with him. That broken face would never leave her._

 _"I know but I know you so well I answered for you." Pushing her palms into her back and screwing her face up she forces herself forward as she attempts to get comfy, all to no avail though. It never did work. But it was always worth a shot. The back pain was the only thing she struggled to cope with, everything else she could ignore or calm down but not this darn back pain. No matter what she did It made it worse. Sitting, standing, bending, lying down, walking...anything! But of course she was far too stubborn to admit how bad it was sometimes. What could anyone do anyway?_

 _"I'm beginning to think you do. Are you alright?" He creases his face in worry. He hadn't been around that many pregnant woman, unless they were in labour that was and had no idea what to do. Or if he could do anything to help her. It was different treating someone, this wasn't someone else's wife or girlfriend. This wasn't someone he didn't know. He wanted to help but for the first time his mind went completely blank._

 _"I'm fine. It's just back pain. Look I've been thinking about it all. I'm not going to stop you seeing the baby. I never would have I was just angry. I didn't mean what I said." She hoped that would distract him. It was true anyway, no matter what she might of said or thought she never wanted him to leave. Not really. Yes she didn't want to be with him, that was true, she wasn't getting married because she was pregnant. That still stood. But she never wanted to do this all on her own. She was angry and let her mouth run away with her, not to mention terrified. It seemed easier that way. But it wasn't because now, months down the line, she was still having to deal with it all._

 _"It's obviously not just back pain. Is there anything I can do? Would a walk help? Really? You mean it?"_

 _"Of course I mean it. You are the baby's father. I can't deny that Andrew. Ugh! Nothing helps. It is just back pain. Nothing I do will ease it. Not walking, sitting, lying down, standing or bending. It's the position the baby's in isn't helping. Will you stop fussing?" Rolling her eyes at him, although smiling, she pushes herself off the sofa, with some effort, and successfully avoids his attempts to help her. She was used to managing on her own and was damned if she was going to make out she needed him around. She was perfectly capable of coping alone, even if she didn't want to. Just by agreeing he can have access to the baby didn't mean she was admitting she needed him there. That was completely different. Following her he gets off the sofa himself, although it wasn't half as difficult for him, and places both hands on her shoulders._

 _"I can't help it Lisa. You are so stubborn. I just want to help. I've told you already. I'm not back just because your pregnant. I want to be with you Lisa. I missed you." He'd never seen her eyes go so wide, like she was waiting for him to take it all back. Maybe hoping he would. But he wasn't going, it meant it and she knew that. She stood, motionless, for a moment before turning as best she could away from him. It was too much. Too soon. She head screamed to back off as that little voice in the back of her mind told her off for been so scared. But the louder voice won. She wasn't ready to trust him but before she could explain, not that she wanted to, her front door went. Someone certainly had great timing. Pulling out of his hold she heads to the door, muttering as she did._

 _"I best get that..." Leaving him in the living room, looking rather frustrated, she opens the door without thinking. Expecting it to be a salesman or someone. Or at best Megan, she often checked up on her. But no. if only it was._

 _"Mother? What are you doing here?"_

 _"What a wonderful welcome Lisa! Can't I visit my daughter?" Oh wonderful! Of all days to turn up! How was she going to explain this one?_


	30. Chapter 30

_Of all times to turn up! Her mother_ _ **never**_ _just turned up without notice. Of all times to start! She didn't know how to explain all this but her mother wasn't going to give in. She didn't get a chance to think of something to say or find a way to explain as before she knew it Andrew was standing in the hall looking rather confused. Of course her mother was the first to speak as she bounded right up to Andrew, one arm held out. She simply assumed that he was someone she worked with, it was hardly likely to be a love interest at this moment in time. Not unless he was mental. Duffy's face was full of worry, this was not going to go well. All she could do was glance worriedly at Andrew and wrap her arms around herself._

 _"Oh Hello. I didn't know Lisa had company. I'm her mother Kate. And you are?" If she could hide she would, instead she stares at the floor as Andrew worriedly stares at her. He hadn't a clue what to say to her. He didn't know how much she knew but if he knew Lisa at all she wouldn't know a thing. Or as close as. Deciding to be his usual charming self he shakes her hand a smiles greatly. Maybe his charm would work on her mother as much as it worked on Lisa. Although something in Lisas eyes said otherwise. He could hope though._

 _"Hello Mrs Duffin. I'm Andrew Bower." A confused look appeared on her face, Lisa had never mentioned this guy before. Who was he? She didn't even consider that this was the father of her grandchild. But then why would she? He was barely ever mentioned and she'd been made very clear this guy was not coming back. Lisa had always refused to reveal his name anyway out of worry she'd find him. She had a picture of Andrew answering the phone to her and her yelling down the phone at him or worse trying to convince him to come back. Although this wasn't too much better. She wished she was at work rather than this._

 _"How do you know Lisa?" Walking forward and finding her voice at last, she places her hand on her mothers shoulder to make her turn round. It wasn't fair to make Andrew explain, he didn't know her mum and she knew she'd be horrified if it was her. She couldn't find the words herself how the hell could she expect him to find the words? Her voice was full of worry, instantly worrying Kate as she attempted to find some way to explaining all this. But she still didn't twig to what she was about to be told._

 _"Mum, Andrew...Andrew is the baby's father." Nothing can describe the utter puzzlement that came over Kate's face on hearing those words. Lisa was still standing close to her as Kate stood in a complete daze, completely lost for words. Turning gently, she couldn't manage much more, she stares at Andrew, taking it all in. What was he doing here? Were they back together? She wasn't glaring at him, she couldn't be angry with him._

 _"What?! You? Why you here? Are you back together? I thought your career was more important than your child! What's changed?" Andrew stood dumbfounded, she obviously knew a bit more than he expected. He was hurt Lisa had used that as an excuse. His career was never more important. But then if he really thought about it then it must of seemed that way. This was all caused by them both get over heated and a complete lack of communication, which if he was to be honest was largely his fault, the lack of communication anyway. He should never have left her when they found out. She must of felt completely abandoned and he only wished he could take it back. But he couldn't. He wasn't walking off again, that was for damn sure. Duffy's face instantly turned red in anger and embarrassment. How dare she come out with that! After all the grief she came her for leaving him! How dare she suddenly pick her side now!_

 _"Mother! For gods sake! No we're not back together. He's hear because he has a right to be. Because he cares!" Turning her attentions back to Andrew her face screams apology before the words come out. "Sorry Andrew."_

 _"No. No it's fine. She's right anyway. I shouldn't have left." Kate was about to make some snide comment, Duffy could tell by the look in her eyes and was sure as hell not letting her get away with it. Interpreting her before she got the chance she begins to head for the living room, hoping they'd follow._

 _"Mum don't even bother! I don't want to get into this. Can we please all go into the living room?" To save himself been caught in the hall with Lisas rather scary mother he quickly follows her into the living room. That woman sure knew how to scare a guy but there was obviously something going on between Lisa and her mother. He could see it in Lisas eyes each time her mother spoke. It was more than just been annoyed. But then it wasn't any of his business._

 _Kate stood for a moment before eventually following her daughter into the living room. This was not what she expected. She couldn't help but not trust this guy, after all her attempts to get Lisa to contact him she now which he'd stayed away. She never thought about the guy really, he could be a complete arse. Just because he proposed to her daughter, out of duty, didn't make him a decent guy. He still left and she wouldn't have told him to get lost without good reason. Maybe she should have listened to her daughter the first time. Was really the thought of a bastar* grandson that made her yell? Had she turned into her own mother despite all the promises she made herself?_

 _"Look mum it's all quite complicated. But it's not about Andrew and me anymore. It never should have been. He wants to be here for the baby and that's all that matters. I'm not going to stand in his way and neither should you."_

 _"I never would! I just want to know what the sudden change of mind is all about." Well one thing was for sure, Lisa hadn't let on about him trying to contact her. He wasn't going to let that one lie._

 _"It's not so sudden Mrs Duffin." Before she could answer Duffy once more jumped in._

 _"He's been trying to contact me for a while. I just wasn't ready to hear any of it."_

 _"A while? A month? That's not enough! She's due in a few weeks and you turn up now? What use is that? Where were you when she just found out? Oh yeah! London! Getting drunk no doubt."_

 _"Mother! For gods sake stop it! None of that matters now!"_

 _"No Lisa she's right. I should never have left. But I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere!"_

 _"You better not!"_

 _"Mother!" Well this was going to go brilliantly! Her mother obviously already hated him. Maybe it was easier when she idealised him? God knows what made her change her mind. She'd been on his side through out the pregnancy until now. This was going to be hell. Andrew would only put up with so much and she got the feeling he wasn't going to put up with a hell of a lot more. The only thing that could help her get through all this was a straight vodka! If only! Another feud was the last thing she needed right now._


	31. Chapter 31

_Despite her mother still not been happy at finally knowing who the father of her grandchild, was even after all the fuss at the start of her pregnancy, she'd at least agreed to be polite to him. That was something at least and in two weeks she'd be off abroad, although if she was really honest to herself she'd still not forgiven her for that. How she could stand there so high up on her high horse to Andrew when she had planned not to be there herself was beyond her. She had been quite happy for her to go through it alone yet for some reason she seemed to think herself better than him. She had some cheek! Shaking her head she attempts to turn her attention to the paperwork in front of her but it was hardly interesting. At least it was the last day she had to do it, for a while away. After today's shift she was off on maternity leave, at last! She knew now that she picked the right time to leave, the pressure on her back was making it difficult to do the most simple of tasks never mind a shift in A &E. Never mind all the stress work brought at the moment, admin were constantly on all their backs about anything and everything they could think of. It had got to the point where Charlie was trying his best to make sure she was avoided them, more so after she threatened to tell them exactly what she thought of them after the last time the wound her up. Well they should know better than to wind up a heavily pregnant woman, not to mention the fact that it was due to her been pregnant that had started the whole fuss in the first place or rather their out of date ideas of what a pregnant woman was capable of. They'd somehow got into their heads, no doubt thanks to that asshole of a locum that she wasn't up to the job and felt the need to suggest it to her in such a way she had the overpowering urge to slap one of them. Bloody idiots! If it wasn't suggestions she passed more work onto Charlie, move onto an "easier" department or comments about the demands of the job it was complaints over budgets or staffing and of course paperwork. Ooh she couldn't wait to get a few months away from them. _

_He was leaning over the desk as he changed the patient's details in cubical one when he couldn't help but notice Duffy take a sharp breath in before placing both hands on her back and stretching. It was obvious Duffy was not one to let her pregnancy interfere with her work and he'd barely noticed her complain and never once seen her use it as an excuse not to do something, despite the fact that on more than one occasion she should have done. But then he also knew better than to suggest that to her. Standing straight he turns to her, something must be up._

 _"Duffy? Are you Okay?" She hadn't heard him approach her, mostly due to been in her own little world so it took a few moments to register who it was._

 _"Oh Ash, I didn't see you there. I'm fine. The baby's got their feet caught in my ribs, it's a bit painful." Screwing his face up at the mere thought of that he was suddenly thankful he'd never have that experience._

 _"Ouch it sounds it." Laughing at his face she changes position once more and relaxes slightly as the baby finally moves out of her ribcage._

 _"It's not too bad really. Anyway I gather you know more than me in this place. I'm always last to find things out nowadays. Is there any gossip?" Back in the day it was souly her and Susie that found out all the gossip but those days were long gone and right now she was really out the loop. She'd already told Megan that she had to keep her update to date with what was going on, a few months off was really going to put her behind. There was little point in asking Charlie, he always knew absolutely nothing._

 _"No there's really nothing. Well, they've got a new doctor upstairs but I'm sure you know all about that."_

 _"No, why would I? I've not heard a thing." Oh. Now that was strange. When someone first mentioned that they finally found a doctor for one of the wards upstairs he had never heard of guy and of course the nurse that told him and started at the same time as he did so couldn't tell him much about him. But what she did know was that Ash had been talking to him the day of his interview, she'd assumed he knew him. What was his name again? Andrew. That was it. He'd said he was a friend of Duffy's so he'd naturally assumed she already knew._

 _"Oh I thought he'd have told you. On the day of his interview he came down to find you. He mentioned you were friends. I think his name was Andrew." Her face fell, although he hadn't a clue why. Maybe they weren't as good friends as this Andrew guy had made out they were. Pushing her hands into the desk she forced herself up._

 _"Was it Andrew Bower?!" If he were to be honest with himself he really didn't want to answer her. He'd never seen her so angry and god knows what she'd be like it when he confirmed she was right. Good luck to this Andrew guy._

 _"Um yeah that was his name." Luckily Charlie walked past just at the right time. He gladly let him have the task of calming her down and at least he'd know who she was talking about, although if had to guess he assumed Andrew must be her baby's father. Having filled Charlie in as Duffy muttered about killing the sod he escapes to the next patient. That seemed easier._

 _It took some time for Charlie to calm her down, fuming was not the word. But it hadn't really worked; she still wanted to strangle the idiot. It just made no sense. They were finally sorting things out and he goes behind her back to work in the hospital again. Didn't he understand? Taking in a deep breath she answers the door to him, fighting the urge to slap him. He wasn't in the flat seconds before she turned to him, hands on her hips and a face like thunder._

 _"Are you a complete idiot?!" Oh crap! Someone had obviously dropped him in it. He did expect her to not be overly excited about his new job but he didn't think she'd be this angry._

 _"You heard then?"_

 _"Of course I did! What the hell did you do that for? Why didn't you discuss it with me?"_

 _"I didn't see why I'd have to." Harshly she pulls her hands through her hair, anything to distract them._

 _"What?! Once more you've made massive decisions about where you live and work without even asking me about it! How the hell can we parent when you won't talk to me about any big choice you have?! How can I trust you if you won't tell me you're moving?! I'll wake up one day with a note saying `Got a job in Scotland`." Shaking his head he scoffs, she was been over hormonal again._

 _"You are been ridiculous Lisa! It's just a job! I only wanted to be close to you and the baby. What's so bad about that?"_

 _"I can't trust you! You make all these decisions without even thinking about talking about it! It's like I don't matter. Need I remind you of last time? You decided we were getting married and moving to London without even talking about! It's why I finished with you for Christ sake!"_

 _"You don't want to trust me Lisa! You never did! I'm trying my best here and you just don't care! What is wrong with you? Is there anyone you can trust? You shut yourself off to everyone! Any excuse you find you'll use to push me anyway! What the hell did someone do to make you so distrusting of everyone?!"_


	32. Chapter 32

In her usual style she'd refused to see Andrew since the other day, not that he expected any different. Of course she knew she could only ignore him for so long, she was due in less than four weeks and no matter what was said between them she'd never refuse to let him be there for the birth of his child, not now. But right now the last thing she wanted was to see him and there was nowhere to hide now she was on maternity leave, if she ignored the door he'd know it. She could hardly get anywhere, walking wasn't the easiest and exhausted her far too quickly for her liking and driving was out of the question. If she attempted it she'd send everyone into a panic and plus she highly doubted that she'd fit behind the wheel anymore, if she did it would only be just. She only just fit into her maternity clothes, which seemed to get worse in style as this pregnancy went on, never mind manage to drive her car. It wasn't worth the risk right now everything she needed was within walking distance she only wished an escape was too. Even thinking about Andrew wound her up at this moment in time and she really didn't know how she'd manage to speak to him never mind deal with him been there while she was in labour. She didn't find it easy to bite back and tell him what she thought of him normally never mind when she was in pain. At first she was set on refusing to let him be there but no matter how angry she was at him it simply wasn't fair to refuse that to him just because he was been a royal prat. This was all hard enough to cope with without him been off in his own world as usual. He simply didn't think. He obviously just didn't understand that it was difficult enough to trust him as it was. It was a constant battle with her head when she was with him or even thought about him. Her sense told her to run, not to trust him but then that voice in the back of head told her not to be so stupid. Despite it all she still had feelings for him, no matter how much she tried to fight them or tell herself that she didn't. That spark was still there and just a glance made her melt, which didn't help her anger towards him. No one could make her feel the way he did and it frustrated her and she hated him for it. They were never supposed to be serious but even before she found out she was pregnant the more she fell for him the more she wanted to run away but something would never quite let her, not for a while anyway. The last time she really loved someone was Peter and she vowed after his suicide she'd never let herself get hurt like that again. The guilt would never leave her over his death and she still missed him. But despite all her promises to herself deep down she knew she was starting to love Andrew. Yes he was an arse at times and frustrated her more than anyone else could but it didn't stop her and yes she might have told him she didn't but that was never really the reason she finished it, well in a way it was, sort of. He never brought love into it, it was just his duty, and she was sure as hell not letting herself fall for him anymore than she already had if he didn't share the feelings. She told herself she'd get over it and cope alone. It would be easier somehow. Marriages for sake of kids never worked out, she'd seen enough couples try it and it always failed. Plus it was scary enough to find out she was about to have a baby without adding moving to another city and marriage into the mix. She was a home girl and had no desire to move to London especially with someone she barely knew and obviously didn't really want to be with her. Finishing the relationship was to save her heart, and the baby from having a father that didn't care, from any more pain than she already had to cope with. She was testing him at the same, having decided that if he truly cared for her and the baby that he wouldn't leave. He wouldn't take no for an answer if he really wanted to be there for his child. But of course he just accepted it, yes he did get angry but he still left. But the feelings didn't disappear did they? Her anger grew with him for getting off so easily. He could walk away and forget but she'd always have that constant and reminder. Now he was back and it was harder than ever. Keeping her feelings locked away wasn't something she found easy. Not when it came to love. Even if she managed to get the words out her eyes always betrayed her. Part of her wished he'd just leave again, it seemed easier somehow.

Okay she couldn't say she was Andrew's biggest fan but she wasn't going to sit back and let her daughter push yet another man away for no real reason. More so as no matter what he was the father of her grandchild. Normally she'd say nothing, it wasn't her place, and it was up to the man in question to fight for her but this was different. Lisa wasn't the most open daughter when it came to relationships but the few she did let her be aware of always ended thanks to Lisa. Not that she ever found out the real reasons, although she could make a guess and it wasn't shocking when you knew her past. Anyway it was time for some interference. As expected she didn't get the warmest of welcomes, Lisa had learnt the hard way that her mother turning up was never going to work in her favour.

"How are you doing love?" Following her daughter into the living room she couldn't help but notice how tidy the flat was, instantly telling her she was stressing. Not that her daughter was messy but she wasn't the tidiest of people, until she was stressed out.

"I'm fine." Deciding she wasn't waiting to find out the real reason she just comes out with it, as she struggles to sit back down. "What's wrong mother?"

"Wrong? Nothing is wrong. What makes you say that?"

"Don't try that. I know something is up. If you've come round here then you've got something to say. Don't beat around the bush, I haven't got the energy for it." Having finally got comfy, sort of, she sighs as she sinks into the sofa, completely aware of what was coming next. It wasn't too hard to guess why her mother had turned up.

"It's about Andrew."

"What a surprise. Look I really don't want to talk about him right now." Rolling her eyes as she answers her mum she hoped she'd drop it, however unlikely it was. Instead Kate leaned in and took her hand, not wishing to upset her but she had the strong feeling that no matter how easy she was she was going to upset her.

"I know you don't. Look you know I don't normally interfere in your love life but this time it's different." She couldn't argue with that one. Normally she didn't say a word no matter what she thought, until Andrew came on the scene that was.

"What love life? Andrew and I are not together mum. Right now we can't even talk without falling out."

"I know that. Just listen to me. You can't keep pushing him away. He's trying his best. You know he is."

"Is he? He's still making snap decisions without telling me a bloody thing. I can't trust him. What do you know about him anyway?"

"He's not a criminal Lisa. I don't know what happened between you both before but you are about to give birth. You need him more than you think you do. I know you can do this alone but you don't need to and he doesn't want you to either. He's trying do to the right thing for you and the baby."

"I can't believe your taking his side! You don't know him!"

"No but I know you! Stop punishing him for your own feelings! Deny it all you want but I know you feel more for him than you want to admit. Can't you trust one man for once in your life?"

"That is crap! Why the hell should I?! What man have I ever trusted that didn't hurt me?"

"Not every man is like your father. I know you have good reason not to trust men but Andrew is not your father. How much does the poor guy know about your past?" It wasn't just a ####ty dad her mum was referring to now and Duffy knew that, she only hoped she didn't mention it further. She wasn't going to talk about it. No matter how much her mother tried.

"I'm not saying he's like dad. Did you just call Andrew a poor guy?! You hated him last week! God your fickle! He knows nothing. Why would I tell him anything? I've already told you we were never serious. I'm hardly likely to tell him my boring life and arse of a "dad" who walked out years ago when we barely know each other."

"Well like it or not it is serious now. That is rubbish. Stop pretending you feel nothing for this man. I know when you are falling for someone. It's written all over your face. Talk to him and trust your feelings for once in your life. Or at least make up with him, for your baby's sake at least."


	33. Chapter 33

Glancing at the clock he was early. Why early today? He never used to be on time but then it was always work distracting him and right now that distraction wasn't there. Well not for a week or so anyway. Doctors were always late weren't they? Pushing herself off the chair she hadn't a clue what she was going to say to him. It wasn't any easy topic for her and been over emotional anyway wasn't helping. He wouldn't even be round if her bloody mother hadn't emotionally blackmailed her into inviting him over, playing the whole 'do you want your baby to have the same trust issues you do?' card. It was a risky tactic to try but it worked. Although it hurt to hear but it was the shock she needed to force her into trying to make things work with Andrew rather than hunting for excuses not to try. It was true that she did fish for any excuse to push him away and give her a reason not to trust him. But she didn't just do that with Andrew, she did that with anyone, men and woman, and her mother knew that and played off it. It was easy to blame her dad for her trust issues despite knowing deep down that her dad wasn't the only reason for her lack for trust in men, or anyone really and her mother knew that just as well. But none of made a difference, she still wanted to ignore the door. But it was too late; opening the door she forces a half smile, trying to tell herself to be nice as hard as it would be.

"Hey, you're early. I'm still half asleep." Throwing back a genuine smile he could see she was tired, that or stressed about seeing him, most likely a bit of both, either way he felt guilty.

"Sorry. I can come back later if you want?" He didn't get the best sleep himself thinking about today, more so as he hadn't a clue why he was there. The last time he'd seen her she'd made it clear how she felt about him so this was much unexpected. All she'd told him was that she wanted to talk to him so all he could imagine was she wanted to cut all ties with him. She never was one to give anything away; he found that out about her at least. She was one for surprises. No one had ever managed to shock her as much as she'd done and unbeknown to him she was about to do it again.

"Don't be stupid Andrew. Come on in." She seemed friendly enough towards him, more than expected really. But regardless he follows her in, more than slightly nervous. She kept her arms fixed at her sides, not wishing to bring any more attention to her swollen stomach than there already was. As an obvious after thought she stops dead just before entering the living room and turns to him.

"Sorry I forgot to ask, do you want coffee or anything?" Smiling he shakes his head having already had two cups before arriving.

"Oh no, I've already had two cups this morning." She continues into the living room before having the usual struggle to sit down and comfortably but her mind was more focussed on how long Andrew must have been up this morning, why she didn't really know but it made her feel bad.

"How long have you been up? I've only been up half an hour." Sitting across for her he smiles, spotting the guilt in her face at have only just gotten up, although why he wasn't sure.

"Oh about four hours I think."

"Four hours? You mad? If I'd been up since that time I'd need a heck of a lot more than two cups of coffee to liven me up." Smiling, he nods, he hadn't forgotten what a nightmare she was to get up and that was before she got pregnant. He could picture she was hellish now.

"Well yes I guess you would but then I'm not 9 months pregnant." Thinking before answering, she nods and smiles, trying hard to be friendly despite her nerves at what she was going to have to explain getting to her.

"Okay, true and I could still have up to six more weeks to go and I've lost all my energy already." Speaking with a groan she couldn't help but dread the next few weeks. She knew she was letting herself get distracted from why she'd asked him round so before he could convince her that it was normal to be tired at this stage, as she knew he would, she changes the conversation. "Anyway that's not what I asked you round here to talk about." He couldn't hide the flicker of fear in his eyes as her saying that, fully expecting her to tell him she wants him out of her life. Why else would she want him round here? He didn't even take in the fact she'd so far been more than polite into consideration. Catching it she couldn't help but feel guilty although why the fear was in his eyes she wasn't sure.

"I thought not. What's wrong?" Shaking her head she attempts to reassure him but fails to meet his eyes, still undecided what she really was going to tell him.

"Nothing is wrong. Don't look so worried. It's just my mother made it clear that I need to make more of an effort with you. Your right I do look for excuses to push you away and I can't blame you for my own personal problems." His face creases in concern, what was she talking about? In that second he finally realised just how little he knew about her, not that it was his entire fault since Lisa was hardly open.

"Yes but I hardly helped did I? You were right I did put my career before the baby and you. I know you were only trying to protect yourself and the baby. What personal problems?" She'd barely make eye contact all morning but now her eyes were fixed on the floor. Explaining herself was going to be tougher than she thought.

"I never wanted you to leave Andrew. I didn't go into that room to tell you to leave. I was just scared and hurt…" He just stared at her, not knowing what to say or how to continue but she wasn't giving him a chance since there was more she needed to say, she wasn't leaving it there. "It's scary enough finding out your pregnant without adding new job, new city and marriage into the mix more so to someone you barely know Andrew. Whatever you say we don't **really** know each other. I was terrified you'd up and leave which would hurt more so I thought pushing you away would be easier. I wasn't going to tell you to leave but you wound me up and I figured if you really were as dedicated to the baby as you said you wouldn't leave, that you'd fight me about it. But you left. No real question." His eyes almost broke at hearing that as she knew they would to the point she couldn't bare to set her eyes on him.

"Why didn't you tell me? You just went silent, I didn't have a clue what was going on. You are so closed off. Do you let anyone close to you? Don't say Charlie or Megan I mean really close. Why can't you trust anyone? I'd have been there for you!"

"Tell you? As if you'd give up that job for Holby then. No chance! Don't lie to me Andrew! I couldn't have coped if you picked the job over the baby. It was easier forcing you to go."

"You didn't answer me Lisa. Of course I'd picked you! You should have spoken to me. Why don't you trust me?"

"No I don't trust you! When did you prove to me that I could trust you?! When you ran off for your interview and partied for a week without any consideration for me? You didn't care! Or was it when you expected me to dump my life for yours without even asking?! You just assumed!" Taking a breath in she sighs and finally looks up at the bewildered man across from her just as he brings himself to his feet and for one awful moment she expected him to walk out the door but instead he places himself next to her, putting one hand on her shoulder, understanding her more than he'd ever before and still not understanding her at all. There was obviously a lot more about this woman that was he yet to understand or hear about. It was clear now that simply assuming she'd be able to trust him wasn't going to work; he had to prove it to her. But before all that he had to know what made her the way she was. Hiding behind outbursts wasn't going to work anymore, pushing him away wouldn't cut it. He had to know what was holding her back or she'd never trust him.

"You are never going to trust me if you don't talk to me Lisa. You're going to keep hunting for excuses to push me away. I don't understand you; I never have and never will if you don't explain why you're like this. Don't play dumb with me I want to help, I want to understand."

"What? You think it's as easy as that? You say talk and I'll tell you my past? There's nothing to tell anyway. I'm just an untrusting person." Gone was the ability to meet his eye once more, she knew her behaviour gave that something held her back away but she wasn't quite confident enough to share it. He hadn't a clue what he was asking her to share; she knew if he did he wouldn't dare mention it. No one else did.

"Don't lie to me Lisa. It's always been there, as long as I've known you. I could see it in Megan's face when you were with me. At first I thought she didn't approve of us but it's not until now I see its fear. Fear I'll hurt you. Don't say she's are just protective. It's more than that. We both know that. Something has happened that I don't know about. It's why you can't trust me the way you trust her. You don't have to tell me but if you don't it will always been in way of us. It will always hold you back if refuse to talk about it. I only want to be there for you. Can't you see that?" If he were to be honest with himself he expected what held her back was simply another strained or even non-existent father daughter relationship and he was right, sort of. He thought if she talked about it, got it out in the air and then it would help. But that wasn't the reason Megan wanted to shield her from him.

Sighing, for what felt like the hundredth time today, she wanted to simply disappear. Part of her wished he knew what he was asking her to share. It wasn't that she never planned to tell him, someone would eventually mention it and he'd be furious with her. Too many people knew, or thought they did. But been pressured to tell him something he obviously hadn't a clue in made it only harder.

"No I can't see that! My past is my business Andrew, not yours! Where do you think you've got the right to demand to know about it?!"

"You're pregnant with my child! Is it such a crime to care about you? I only think if you've got problems with your father maybe talking about it will help you move on. I don't know what he was like but it's obvious he hurt you." She let out a laugh as she struggled to her feet, voice raised and stressed. He was never going to understand her if he kept jumping to conclusions.

"Ha! You think my trust issues are caused by that layabout?! I don't care about that man enough to let him hurt me! He was never worth the bother! He might hurt me when I was young but now he's not worth a penny to me!" Getting to his own feet he places both hands on her shoulders, despite her protests.

"Oh…I'm sorry I just assumed…" She got more strained in his hold as she back her answer but as she finished she just broke in front of him in a way he'd never seen her do.

"Yes! I know what you assumed but you're wrong! I was raped Andrew! Is that a bloody good enough reason for you?!" Bundling her in his arms for a second he wondered if she'd never manage not to shock him, that certainly was not what he was expecting her to say and now he had to deal with the guilt at forcing her to reveal something she is obviously not ready to cope with. He had to admit it explained a hell of a lot though, her sudden doubts in everything that seemed to come from nowhere for example. She was right he just stormed ahead making his own plans to suit himself without ever asking her what she wanted. He just assumed as a woman she'd go along with it and like it, why he didn't know. But as a result of his speed decisions he left her terrified and confused in a relationship she had no way of knowing would work. He'd once more assumed since she was so young that she wouldn't have been hurt badly before and would just go with the flow. What was there to lose? It would be worth a shot right? No. He hadn't counted on that for her just trusting him enough to sleep with him took so much effort never mind finding out the blue the courage to move in with him and get married. He hadn't thought at all.

"I'm so sorry. I hadn't a clue. I really didn't." Wiping her eyes she moves more softly out his hold, looking him through tear stricken eyes.

"I told you, you didn't. See? Talking about this doesn't help."

"No you are right, I didn't think. How long ago did it happen?" She pauses before answering, considering not saying a thing but she had to talk about it one day. Keeping this locked up didn't stop the pain.

"Three years ago." More guilt, he expected her say longer than that. He'd heard of woman refusing to talk about it 10 maybe 20 years later. He only hoped he hadn't ruined all chances in her ever trusting him. No wonder Megan gave him such icy glares every time he banged into her right now; he cursed himself just as much right now.

"I take it Megan knows?" Nodding she didn't want to stay on this topic much longer, she just wanted to forget. You can't move on from something if you constantly think about it and until today she'd been doing an alright job of not thinking about it.

"She sort of does. I've never really talked about it. I tried to lie about it when it happened but they know. Megan knows more than anyone else. Well, until now."

"You've never told anyone? How do you cope?" Not more questions surely?

"I just sort of pretend it's not real. But it doesn't help that much, not really. You just have to cope…Can we please talk about something else?"

"Yeah of course we can. I am sorry Lisa. You know I'm always here if you want to talk. Do you want me to go?"

"No, please stay and talk to me."

"Sure, how about you fill me in on that strange locum you guy in Casualty have." Laughing at the thought of that idiot, glad of the distraction, she sits back down, still trying to push her thoughts out her of head. Part of her wanted Andrew to go but right now she needed someone to talk to. She didn't want to be alone right now.


	34. Chapter 34

Grabbing his flung possessions from the desk he begins to head from his new office and decides to take a short cut through Casualty, it was easier to grab his car from that way. Plus it gave him less time to reconsider going to see Lisa, not that he didn't like seeing her but what they had to discuss that was more and likely not going to go down well and after what she admitted last week he was careful not to upset her as she was so obviously putting a lot of trust into him. Everything that had happened between them suddenly made a lot of sense. He was determined to prove to her that she could rely on him, she'd dealt with everything alone and been the strong one for long enough. Breaking himself from his thoughts as he strolled through Casualty he looks up just in time to spot Charlie and Megan chatting in front of him. As expected once more they share a look of total disproving before walking off without a word. He was quickly get used to it since he'd returned to Holby and it hadn't helped that Megan was nearly always on the phone to Lisa when he was round at her flat. He understood that she only wanted to protect her from more pain, more so now that he knew about the rape, but they were having a baby together. Surely that counted for something? Trying to shake off his frustration he jumps in the car and heads round to Lisa's, focussing instead on the task that lay before him.

She had to admit since she'd told Andrew, or rather yelled at him, about the rape he'd been far more understanding and caring towards her and to be honest it was getting on her nerves big style. She didn't need to be treated like some idiotic teenager. She felt like he was treating her with kid gloves constantly, almost like she was fragile and could break at any moment. Every time she went to do anything, get coffee, turn the television off or even answer the phone he offered to do it for her not to mention that every move she made was questioned. "I can do that." "Leave that for later." "Should you be doing that?" "Don't you need rest?" Argh! It took all her strength not to scream at him, he was lucky at getting off with just a glare.

She was glad to hear he'd started his new job, surely now he wouldn't have time to be round at hers bugging her all day? Wrong. He still somehow managed to find time to come round to pester her, how she didn't know. There was no way she had his energy after 12 hour shifts, even before she got pregnant but his energy was still endless so it was no real shock to hear her door bell after she knew he'd just done over his 12 hours. Here we go again. Forcing herself off the couch she made a mental note to give Andrew an extra key, anything to save her to have to keep forcing herself to her feet it wasn't easy at this stage.

"Ooh don't you ever sleep Andrew? You must live off coffee." Smiling he rolls his eyes and follows her into her flat despite her complaining.

"Nice to see you too Lisa, will I flick on the kettle?" Following her into the kitchen she flicks the kettle on herself before he got a chance before rummaging around in some random drawer, for what reason he wasn't sure.

"What on earth are you doing now?"

"I'm looking for a key if you must know." Now he was even more confused, taking the chance he makes the coffee and tea for Lisa, while she hunted for the key. Just as he handed her the tea she returns and hands him the key. Thanking him for the tea as she sits down she wasn't going to give him a chance to order her too but he was too busy been confused about the key.

"Why are you giving me a key?"

"It's for the flat. If you're going to keep turning up here every five minutes I'd rather you had a key to save me having to get up to let you in."

"Oh. Thank you...I think." He smiles and drops it in his pocket, knowing that she obviously had at least some trust him to give him the key.

"Well once the baby is born you'll be here even more, it only makes sense. Anyway how was work?"

"Very true, thanks Lisa. Oh same old same old. Anyway that's not why I'm here. I need to talk to you." Her face falls as she's unable to think of a reason why they'd need to talk, well no good reason anyway.

"Talk to me? Why?" Smiling he attempts to reassure her that there was nothing to worry about, regardless of the fact he knew she wouldn't take to this idea well.

"It's nothing serious, don't worry. It's just I've been speaking to my parents and they both want to meet you." Instantly shaking her head she gulps down the rest of her tea, almost like it was vodka or like she wished it was anyway. Not meeting the parents, she hated that! When did that _ever_ go well?

"Oh Andrew I'm terrible at meeting family. I wouldn't know what to say."

"Don't be silly. Anyway I met your mother!"

"Hey I didn't want you to meet her but we hardly had a choice! Plus looked how that turned out! Meeting the parents never goes well!"

"My parents well love you Lisa, don't worry about it."

"Ha! How on earth did you come to that conclusion? No mother will take to the woman that dumped her son more so since I'm pregnant."

"There's more to it that than and you know it. Plus she never blamed you for that, she blamed me. She said I didn't try hard enough and didn't understand what you were going through as well as a few other choice phrases."

"Oh I don't know. I know I'll have to meet them sometime but I expected it to be once the baby was born but you want it to be sooner, don't you? When do they want to meet me?"

"Well that's the other thing. Yes It would make more sense to meet them before you give birth, so they can get to know you better, but dad can't get that much time off, he's a doctor, and they'd both want to come up here after the baby is born."

"Well I expected they'd want to be here then but I didn't expect them to want to meet me before. If he can't get time off then how's this going to work?" Ah that dreaded question, he answered as he finishes the rest of his coffee. Here we go.

"They want us to go down to London." Slamming her mug on the table she couldn't have heard him right. Surely she didn't?

"What? But I'm 37 weeks Andrew! You freak out if I try to hoover and you want me to travel down there?"

"I know I do and I know it's a lot to ask but please consider it Lisa. Once the baby is born we'll both be too stressed busy and tired so it makes more sense for you to get to know them now."

"I know it makes sense but it's a bit further than I'd like to go right now. Do you even have a car? I'm not even considering going down there by train. It takes 2 hours by car and that's bad enough." To be honest she never gave it a thought how he made it round to hers before, he used to just rely on taxis, busses and trains.

"Yes I have a car and of course I don't expect you to go by train. I know it will take longer but I plan to stop off often. I don't expect you to sit that long, your back is bad enough as it is."

"Hmm I'll think about it. I'm not promising anything. Megan would have a fit if she found out and most likely my doctor. You know full well they advise against long car journeys."

"I know but at your last appointment they didn't think labour would be for a while."

"You as doctor know that means bugger all. Anyway I said I'd consider it now can we go into the living room instead of this filthy kitchen?" Forcing herself up, once more, from her chair she begins to head out the room before even hearing his reply. But he doesn't move from his seat but instead looks around the room.

"It's not filthy Lisa."

"It won't be in a minute if you don't come into the living room because I'll clean it." That was enough for him; he wasn't going to be responsible for her pushing herself again.

"I'm coming I'm coming."


	35. Chapter 35

If she were to be completely honest the last thing she felt up to was a trip to London, the walk to the shops was exhausting enough, but she could see how much Andrew wanted her to know his parents before the birth so had reluctantly agreed to go next week, a mere two weeks before she was due. As if that wasn't enough he'd insisted on her accompanying him on a completely pointless shopping trip yesterday but at least for now she had nothing else planned for the week, well not really. Currently she was relaxing on her sofa, at the insistence of Megan, as she filled her in on departmental gossip, not that there was overly much, and Charlie had the job of making the second round of tea, since he most likely knew less than she did.

Megan was well aware how much was going on in Duffy's life right now, anyone would be, and she was well aware she could cope no problem, but she couldn't help but make sure. But despite hunting for any scene of stress she couldn't find any. As far as Megan could tell she seemed quite relaxed considering, exhausted yes but who wouldn't be? Still she was more aware than most how much Andrew's reappearance would be affecting her, still Duffy was more intent on catching up on the antics of the staff in her absence than giving any information about her own life.

"How's Ash getting along?" Out of all the nursing staff Ash came into her thoughts more than most when it came to work. She barely got a chance to know the guy and felt quite bad for it, not that she expected him to be fussed, but as sister, even if she was on maternity leave, she had a responsibility to her staff.

"He's fine, getting along great. You really don't need to worry about work, it never changes." Joining the conversation at the very last second Charlie passes the tea around the room before sitting down, questioning the pair of them.

"What never changes?"

"Work, that's what."

"Oh no, that place will never change, not with the government we've got." Rolling her eyes at the younger man across from her she shakes her head at him, everything was political with him.

"Oh don't get into a politics row again." Duffy on the other hand had no problem with Charlie getting into a political rant; it kept them off the unavoidable question of her and Andrew for a while.

"What row? We all agree." Although seemingly a statement Megan knew he was making sure they all agreed, despite him knowing all too well they all agreed. How could you not in their job? Still the last thing wanted to do was set him off, that could go on for hours and she'd never get anything out of Duffy about Andrew.

"Yes I know but everyone and his dog know what you think about the Tory's so can we talk about something else?" Trying to avoiding giggling, and failing miserably, Duffy gulped down the rest of her tea in an attempt to hide it as Charlie was just getting worse; once he started it was near impossible to stop him again.

"Ha! The cheek of you! But you know I'm right." He looked at both of them, Megan was too busy rolling her eyes at him as Duffy kept hers firmly on her mug, cowards! Who didn't love a good politics chat over gossip?

"Yes Charlie whatever. Anyway how's it going with Andrew?" Smiling, shaking her head slightly at the same time, she reaches slowly over and firmly places her empty mug on the table next to Megan's before answering.

"I wondered how long you'd last before that came up." She knew that wasn't the answer Megan was looking for, not even close, but there really wasn't much to say on the subject. Well okay that wasn't really true but she knew all too well that Megan would flip if, or rather when, she found out about the trip to London and quite simply she didn't know if she could defend it. Plus Andrew had admitted the staff didn't treat him the same since he returned, he felt judged, so opening up about London was not going to help matters.

"I only care, you know I do. You're avoiding the question. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine Megan. He certainly seems to be dedicated, to the point where he dragged me around the shopping centre all day yesterday for crap he doesn't need." As always, 5 steps behind everyone else, Charlie adds to the mugs on the table and checks he's got the right end of the stick, a puzzled look on his face. Duffy on the other was rolling her eyes, still unable to see the point of yesterday's shopping trip.

"What shopping for baby stuff? But surely you have loads." If he were to be honest and give the guy his due he never once denied the child but when it came down to it he simply didn't offer Duffy the support she needed then and he wasn't sure Andrew even understood Duffy enough to give it to her. How could two people who let's face it didn't know a thing about each other understand each other enough to cope well with this? But then a doctor and sister should be qualified enough to understand how to prevent pregnancies. Still it happened and despite what Andrew seemed to think it the beginning neither one was more to blame than the other. Still despite all of the hurdles in her way he knew Duffy would be a good mother, she had a caring nature and no issue in disciplining anyone. As for Andrew only time would tell, he only hoped he didn't run when it got tough.

"Yeah baby stuff. Try telling him that! I attempted to tell him he was wasting his money, it's hardly like the baby will be at his much for some time. We can hardly share custody. I know full well he'll be round here all day anyway. But he insisted on having everything."

"At least he's trying. He does seem to have got his act together."

"Oh he does, it's just he can be a bit annoying, telling me what to do and that. Anyway you're going to see your kids aren't you?"

"It's natural for him to worry about you, more so since it's your first. Oh my lot? They're not kids anymore. But yes, will be good to see them." Checking her watch she instantly got to her feet. "Speaking of that I should head or I'll miss my train."

Joining Megan, although be it a lot slower, to her feet Duffy smiles before wrapping her arms around her, well as much as she could do anyway. Charlie just left them too it, his eyes more on the television than his two friends in front of him.

"Oh you didn't need to get up. I'll call you tomorrow." They'd seemed to have got themselves into a habit that if they didn't see each other that day that at some point one would phone the other, Megan for the reason to reassure herself that Duffy was alright and as for Duffy Megan was more a mother than her own right now. Megan seemed to be the only to calm those unavoidable nerves as her due date closed in.

"Don't be silly, if you let me sit there all day I'll stiffen up. Okay but I will be fine; Andrew is coming round after his shift."

"Just humour me love. Bye Charlie." Throwing in his piece, whilst still watching the television, he laughs as his own reply.

"Yes humour her Duffy, makes everyone's life so much easier. Want a lift to the train station Megan?"

"You are such a cheeky sod! No thanks, it's only round the corner. See you both later." Having seen Megan off and reassured her once more that she was fine and didn't need watching she once more sits back down, sighing when finally comfy, hoping there was no reason for her to get back up again for some time.

"She worries too much." Raising one eyebrow he shakes her head, a slow smile creeping across his face.

"You're just as bad when it comes to her." Sighing, looking away as she did, she really couldn't argue. They'd spent some weeks arguing; before she found out she was pregnant, about Megan's health and workload.

"Okay, I'll give you that one." Agreeing with him? Adding fuel to fire there, she should have known!

"I'm always right, one of my best skills that is." Rolling her eyes she couldn't help but just laugh, there was little else she could do she should have known better by now.

"Oh I'm sure it is." Pretending to be shocked and deeply hurt he puts on that face, the one that always made her laugh rather than its intended reaction of guilt.

"Is that sarcasm I hear?" Forcing her grin to bay she attempts to sound serious but it completely failed.

"Never, what made you think that?" Both laughing and arguing far too much in that natural way they had neither of them even heard Andrew let himself in and enter the living room until he let out a small cough, making them both jump.

Whilst Duffy smiled greatly and greeted Andrew, complaining that he'd scared the life out of her at the same time, Charlie instantly got the feeling that he wasn't welcome. He couldn't say why or really made him think it but something about Andrews glance at him made him feeling like he was intruding to the point where he gets to his feet. This was a new situation but not one he didn't expect at some point. Neither of them had really anyone else to be jealous of the close and innocent friendship they shared but someone obviously was now.

"I best be heading Duffy but I'll see you soon." Cautious to keep it seem like he was planning on going anyway, he didn't want to start an argument, he grabs his coat from the couch as Andrew stays completely silent but still insisted on watching Charlie in case he changed his mind.

"Oh do you not want another coffee or anything?" Duffy, now on her feet once more, automatically stands much closer to Charlie than she would to any normal male friend as she quizzes him slightly.

"Nah, I really best be off. Take care eh?" Desperate not to make her suspicious but knowing his wouldn't please Andrew he places both hands on her shoulders, giving her a quick hug before making his way out the flat, not so much as looking at Andrew. Luckily Duffy seemed to buy it but that didn't mean Andrew was going to keep quiet. As Duffy began to clean up the discarded mugs from the table she politely quizzes Andrew about his day but that was gone from his mind. He had to know.

"You two seemed very close there…" Stopping dead in her tracks she slowly glances up to him, her hair getting her face, a look of complete disgust on her face.

"Please tell me you're not serious." He'd got this far and this might be the only chance he had to find out the truth.

"You can't blame me. You sit that close to each other, both so touchy feely. Plus it's a bit strange you been best friends with a guy who also happens to be your boss." Outraged both hands went straight to her hips after slamming the mugs back on the table. This was ridiculous!

"I'm not and never have slept with Charlie! We are just friends! If it was Megan I'd been with right now you wouldn't accuse me of sleeping with her would you, stop been so old-fashioned and sexist."

"I'm sorry but I can't help it. I'm only questioning what I saw. Surely this isn't the first time someone thought there was more going on between you?" He wasn't helping matters at all but then did he ever?

"Yes it is! You're seeing something that isn't there!" Okay she obvious didn't have any feelings beyond friendship for the guy but the woman did have the habit of leading guys on without intending to. How could he be sure Charlie did share the same feelings as Lisa did? He certainly had an advantage over him; he knew and understood Lisa better than anyone else seemed to.

"Are you sure about that? How do you know what he feels?" This was getting beyond a joke now! How the hell was this Andrews business anyway?!

"God I thought it was me that was supposed to overreact and get all hormonal not you! Do you not think after knowing each other so long that we'd have done something about any feelings we might have? But they are just not there. We care about each other as friends nothing more! You should know how working in a department like that can make you so close to people."

"It didn't seem like there was nothing in it to me."

"There isn't! I'm sick of this. Even if I was what is to you? We're not together anymore remember and I have every right to see who I want to." Now outraged himself now he forces himself closer to her, until they were almost touching, desperate to make his feelings clear.

"Your pregnant with my child remember!" Did she still not get how he really felt? But she was too angry to see what he was trying to say.

"That doesn't give you a right to control me Andrew!"

"I care about you Lisa! I don't want to just be the father of your child or your ex surely you've realised that by now? I care for you beyond friendship!" Stopping she allows her eyes to stare into his, fighting the urge to kiss him. This was the last thing she needed. She attempted to sound forceful but her eyes and general facial features gave her away, he could see she felt the same way.

"Surely you've realised that a relationship is the last thing we both need right now? We've both got enough to deal with and get used to without throwing that in again. You know how it ended last time and it was far less stressed back then. I'm not saying I don't feel the same way but we've got bigger responsibilities right now. Now is not the right time. I'm sorry Andrew, now please can we change the subject?" He didn't reply or even move but then either did she, something stopped her as just stared into his eyes.


	36. Chapter 36

As expected it didn't take long before Duffy had to tell Megan about the trip to London and as expected she was completely outraged, to the point where you could be forgiven for thinking that maybe outraged was a heck of an understatement. She seen her point completely and this was not in any way convincing her that Andrew wasn't a complete arsehole who shouldn't be trusted. The poor guy was struggling with some of the staff in A&E as it was. Megan wasn't the only one going off the rails on her admission of the rather long trip down to London; her doctor was particularly less than pleased, he'd ranted at her that it was irresponsible and idiotic for Andrew to expect her to take such a trip so close to her due date and basically questioned if he was purposely trying to get her to go into labour. If it wasn't for the fact she was going to miss appointments she'd have never told him but at this stage she had no choice. She didn't get off scot free either and had the possible consequences listed at her at more than one occasion. If she'd been showing even the slightest signs of going into labour she'd have told him outright no but bar backache and general exhaustion she had no symptoms. Plus it was hardly like going into labour now was dangerous, she just didn't see why such a big fuss. Her GP and Megan weren't the only two annoying her over the trip, Andrew himself was playing on her nerves about it. If he'd asked her once he'd asked her a million times if she was sure she felt up to it and to be honest if he'd asked her one more time she was sure she'd end up slapping him, she reacted bad enough the last time he asked her to the point he'd said that dreaded sentence "Don't get excited, it's bad for the baby." Ugh!

Now in the car, for what seemed like a lot longer than the few hours it had been, she hadn't had any signs of it bringing on labour so far, bar an aching back. They'd taken multiple stops to help ease the pain, three of which were spent calling Megan to reassure her she was okay, not helping them get there in a reasonable time, but it felt strange. Surely those calls should have been to her mother not one of her best friends? But instead her Mother was on a cruise, or something she hadn't really listened to a word she'd said, not giving a spare thought about her first grandchild's birth. But her mother was not someone she wanted to think about right now. London was not a place she'd been that often, she was a country girl and Holby was big enough never mind London, all that hustle and bustle was not for her and certainly not when she was nine months pregnant. She had no real idea how long the journey had left and even when it was obvious they'd reached London for all she knew Andrews parents lived at the other side of town, not to mention she feared to ask Andrew in fear of the answer, so she was taken by surprise when he pulled up outside a rather large family home. Each house looked almost identical, perfectly made gardens all with similar curtains or blinds. Obviously each owner had a lot of money, which she'd guessed Andrew came from anyway but it was a large cry off what she came from. These were not working class families who struggled each day like she'd done for many years. She and Andrew really were from different worlds. Yes her and her mother were alright whist she was growing up but her mums job didn't pay well and when she left home she had a few years where she lived off nothing, not that her mum didn't have money to help her by then, having got a well-paid job after Duffy had left home, but there was no way she was asking her to help. Those days in that damp box of a flat were still strong in her memory. But it was clear Andrew had never experienced any of that.

"You okay?" She'd gone completely silent and not even attempted to get out the car yet as he took their luggage from the boot, instead she was just staring at the houses but for what reason he hadn't a clue.

"Oh sorry, yeah I'm fine. Their house is massive Andrew! I wasn't expecting anything like this! What on earth will they think when they see my tiny flat?" Finally forcing herself out the car, with his help, her face was full of worry. He didn't understand her reaction in the slightest. What did matter that his parents had money? It didn't change them. Plus there was nothing wrong with Lisa's flat in the slightest.

"There is nothing wrong with your flat Lisa. They're hardly going to expect you to be living in a mansion on a sister's wage are they?"

"I suppose not. I just didn't expect them to live somewhere so grand." She gulped, not feeling confident in the slightest about meeting his parents anymore, not that she was before anyway.

"They're not posh Lisa, don't worry. Come on its freezing we need to go in." She made it as far as the gate before the front door swung open to reveille who she assumed was his mother. The woman before her had very soft features and an already lovely smile, she certainly seemed very relaxed.

"Hi Mum, sorry we were late; our pit stops took longer than expected." Smiling still she shook her head and greeted the pair of them, introducing herself as Catherine to Duffy, to which Duffy quietly returned the greeting and a smile before adding to Andrew's apology.

"That's my fault; I had to keep checking in with a friend." She had to admit she'd been worried about the poor girl making such a long trip but from what she could tell she seemed to be alright. Her hair caught the evening light in a way that made sure you didn't miss it; she also noticed it was a lot more red in colour than in the picture Andrew had shown her some months ago now. Obviously nervous she was a fair few steps behind Andrew with one hand carrying a bag that she'd refused to let Andrew carry, she'd heard them argue about it as they reached the garden, and the other was holding on her back, although she tried to hide it. But no wonder her back was aching and she got the feeling it was nothing to do with a long car trip, she was quite a small framed woman, not in a height aspect, and she'd remembered noticing how thin she was in that single photo Andrew had shown her and although she'd put on some weight you could still tell she was a thin woman but right now her bump was anything but small and obviously put a great deal of pressure on her back that her body just wasn't used to. Her bump had completely shifted her balance and by the looks of it she was still struggling with it and no wonder it was as she was certainly all bump.

"Don't worry about it, your friends are bound to be concerned, come on inside, you must be freezing." Moving out of the frame of the door she allowed them both inside the comforts of the house. Andrew strolled straight through to the living room, momentarily forgetting Duffy didn't know where she was going, as Duffy slowly followed, to busy looking around the house. Almost as soon as she'd entered the house Catherine had successfully got the bags she was carrying off her as well as her coat. Andrew had already made himself comfortable, chatting away to his dad, Richard, on the couch by the time his mother and Duffy got through into the living room. Richard was a tall man with distinctive features and despite his smile and lovely greeting to her she got the impression he was quite a serious person, a side Andrew rarely showed but defiantly had. She couldn't help but still be a bag of nerves, how could a couple greet a woman they didn't know so warmly after all she'd done? They couldn't have a great impression of her so why be so open? All they could know was her job, where she lived, the fact she was pregnant with their sons child and that she'd dumped him. Not a good start to say the least. Still she shook Richards hand and sat next to the only person that made her feel comfortable in this situation, Andrew. Catherine, still smiling in an attempt to break the slight awkwardness, stands over her.

"Would you like a drink?" She goes to answer "No thanks" but a look to Andrew changes her mind, she needed to make an effort, not go silent like she'd rather.

"Yes Please, I'll help you." Shaking her head she attempts to shake off her polite offer, she had to be exhausted.

"Oh no need love, you rest." Getting to her feet, despite having barely sat down she was determined.

"No, I've been sitting too long as it is. I need to stretch my legs." Beginning to leave the room, Lisa following her, she heads for the next room.

"Okay, it's this way."

The kitchen was quite large, as she'd expected, with everything perfectly in its place and part of her hoped it was just because they had a guest, anyone who was like this constantly made her nervous as she thought back to her own chaotic kitchen, which rarely had a place for anything right now. Before either woman could say another word Duffy got a sharp kick followed by a foot getting caught in her ribs once more causing her to gasp a little followed by an easier "Ooh yah." Noticing one hand instantly going to the top of her stomach Catherine wasn't sure what was wrong, but she worried regardless. She may be a doctor but pregnant woman were not her field and she'd not been around them for some time, not when you work with dementia patients.

"You alright love? Why not sit down?" Pulling out a chair for her Duffy just shakes her head in response.

"Oh no it's fine. Ooh." With her other hand on her back she attempts to move the baby, all no avail before continuing. "The baby's got their feet caught in my ribs, forever doing it."

Laughing and relaxing in the thought that nothing was wrong she could sympathise with that one, remembering those experiences fondly but still attempted to get the younger woman sit down for at least a moment.

"Painful that is. I take it their movements haven't slowed down that much then? Maybe a seat will move them?" Realising Catherine wasn't going to take no for an answer she nods and sits down once more, which surprisingly did the trick of moving the little terror.

"Oh that actually worked, it doesn't normally and no, I'm beginning to think that's a lie I'm been told about their movements slowing down. But then I've been told at scans that they baby is very active." Now that the topic of the baby had been brought up she felt a bit more confident to question her about it, not wanting to somehow upset her or cause any problems before.

"Maybe not then, you do only have two weeks to go. Do you know what you having?" Oh that reminded her! Pregnancy brain was getting worse; she forgot almost everything these days.

"No, I'd rather a surprise. Oh I have a 20 week scan picture somewhere for you." Hunting her pocket she pulls out an extra one she had and passes it over to the older woman. The smile she sees on Catherine laying eyes on her grandchild for the first time was completely unexpected. There were even tears in her eyes; this certainly was a long cry from her own mother's point of view on the baby or as she seen it, pregnancy.

"That's lovely!" Was about all she could manage, to go from been told you'd never see your grandchild to holding a scan picture in her hands was overwhelming. Lisa just didn't understand what this meant to her. How they'd got here and what they'd been through didn't matter anymore all that matter was that the baby and mother were healthy and had all they needed. What happened between her son and Lisa was none of her business and making it her business was going to get her nowhere. All she cared about was impending arrival. As she goes to hand the scan picture back to Lisa she shakes her head.

"Keep it if you want, It's a spare." She didn't wish to add she'd got it in case her mother wanted a copy, who wanted to go down that route. But she wasn't even sure she'd shown it to Kate never mind offered her to keep it.

"Are you sure?" She didn't like to question her about why she had a spare and it didn't even really enter her head as to why she'd have it but she glad fully took it all the same.

"Course, we should get back through to the guys. They'll think we've got lost." Smiling she got to her feet once more, at least she seemed to be getting on with Catherine.


	37. Chapter 37

Luckily he'd warned her last night he was going away to meet up with some friend, if she'd woken up only to find Catherine in the house she might have had a bit of a breakdown in fear. Of course he'd asked her if she wanted to come along to meet this guy, whose name she'd already forgotten, but she knew all too well that she wouldn't have the energy to go much further than the living room today, plus she'd met his parents and that was enough for her. But regardless of the fact she had a complete lack of energy she was beginning to regret her decision. Despite the fact that Catherine had shown her nothing but kindness she was still terrified at the prospect of been with her all day without Andrew. She might act completely differently when Andrew & his father weren't around and it was something Duffy was excepting, not quite believing someone could be so open and kind after the history her and her son shared. She knew she couldn't if it was her son in this situation but then she'd also be furious with her son. Forcing herself off the bed, one hand her back, she guessed that she better face the music, she couldn't hide in the bedroom all day, even if that sounded like the easier option.

He hadn't really planned abandoning Lisa with his mum all day but when James called the other day pleading for a catch up when he was down he couldn't really refuse and he'd expected Duffy to go with him. To be honest he thought it would be nice for them to meet but hadn't really taken into consideration how much the travel down to London would exhaust her. But at least he could be more frank about what was going on in Holby without Lisa there Although there really wasn't that much happening with them right now and he wasn't going to betray Lisa by telling James what he knew about her now. Still it was a good excuse to catch up.

Catherine was already up, dressed and by the looks of it had all the housework done by the time Duffy sheepishly treads through into the living room. She didn't look any more alive or energised than last night confirming Catherine's suspicion that the trip had been a bit much for her, which tied in with the increasing guilt she felt for pressing Andrew to convince to take the trip. She wasn't quite sure when she'd gone to sleep, even if she did go to bed first, but she'd slept at least twelve hours.

"Hello love." Catherine peered up from the book she had her head stuck in as Duffy entered the room, rather nervously she noticed.

"Hey, sorry I didn't realise I'd slept so long. Andrew should have woken me up before he left." Rubbing her eyes as she struggled to sit on their rather low down couch she could of done with another 12 hours.

"Don't be ridiculous you must have needed it and no wonder after that trip. He was going to but I told him to leave you alone, tea?" She was off the armchair and half way through to the kitchen before Duffy even had a chance suggesting making it herself. Still regardless she threw in a comment knowing it was pointless.

"I can do that, you didn't need to get up."

"Don't be silly. You're the guest you're not making tea."

It didn't take long, as expected, before James had brought up Lisa. Their drinks had only just arrived and not much more than `how are you?` had been asked before he came out with it.

"So..." He began before taking another drink of his beer, eyeing Andrew for any hints. "How's it going in Holby?"

"Ha." Checking his watch he shakes his head. "You lasted a whole 30 seconds longer than I expected. Surely there's more interesting things to talk about? You never used to be interested in gossip." He didn't know why he really stalled the invertible, he did want to fill him in but was too wary of betraying Lisa.

"Hell no!" He shook his head and laughed, Andrew wasn't getting out of this one. "Come on Andrew! Last time I seen you you were moaning she wouldn't talk to you the next thing you've moved to Holby and taking her to meet your parents. It's a hell of a switch! You can't blame me for been confused. Anyway this isn't gossip."

"There really isn't much to tell." Not really true, it was more the isn't much he could tell. "She didn't want to even look at me at first but I persisted and slowly we started talking and it's just gone from there."

"You two back together?" He didn't know how to answer that one, he wasn't sure what they were right now but then that wasn't his focus.

"Not really..."

"Not really? What on earth does that mean?"

"I'm not saying there is nothing between us because there is but that isn't our focus right now. Of course I want to be with her but she's built a heck of a wall around herself since we broke up and she was bad enough before."

"She sounds very complicated." Screwing up his face as he spoke the words he wasn't sure why Andrew persisted in this relationship or whatever it was, if some bird had offered him a get out of jail free card he'd have been off no question more so if she was as complicated as Lisa sounded."Have another drink."

"I bet you're parents are looking forward to you having the baby."

She wasn't sure how they got on to this topic or half they'd talked about to be honest but this particular one was one she really wanted to avoid. Sighing she looks down to her feet, not that she could really see them with the size of her bump now. "I wouldn't say that..."

"No?" Why on earth wouldn't you be happy about a grandchild? What sort of family had Andrew got involved in? What was Lisa coping with?

"No...It's rather complicated but they won't be there. Mum's booked herself on a cruise when I'm due and to be honest I don't even remember my father." No matter how she answered she knew there'd be more questions and she was right.

"A cruise? It's not because Andrew is back is it?" Catherine didn't want her son to cause a family rift, it was the only reason she could think of why someone would go out of their way to avoid this.

"Oh no, no of course not. She actually persuaded me to give him a chance. She booked it well before Andrew and me were speaking again."

"She was going to let you give birth alone?" She was too focussed on what sort of mother wouldn't be there for her daughter going through all that alone but then remembered what else Lisa said and added "You wearn't going to?"

"She doesn't really approve of the pregnancy to say the least. It's very confusing but we haven't spoken a lot over the past few years. She keeps jumping from point of views. But I think it's because she was a single mother herself and didn't want me to follow her path. She was disappointed in me." She wasn't sure how to answer the next question, she didn't want to lie or go too much into it. "Umm...No I don't think I was. I was terrified and when I found out I was pregnant I think I realised how little Andrew and I knew each other. It's scary, it just seemed easier to cope alone rather than trust someone."

She never really expected to get much out of Lisa about the break up or her family and certainly didn't expect the answers she got. It was quite a bit later before Andrew turned up at the house to the point where Lisa, still exhausted, had fallen asleep on the couch. Ushering him into the kitchen, handing him a cup of tea at the same time she was desperate to find out how much he knew.

"Has she been asleep long?" Sipping on his cup of tea he reflected on his catch up with James, not really thinking his mum would have got much out of Lisa.

"No, not long." She didn't know how to continue with this or how to get onto what she wanted to say. "We had a good chat today."

"That's nice." It was pretty obvious his mum wanted to say something about her, it was easier to ask outright. "Come on what do you think of her then?"

"She's very warm and I think she'll be a great mum. I get the impression she's used to coping alone. I think I understand why she finished with you more now."

"What on earth did you two talk about? It took me months to understand her."

"Her parents. No wonder she didn't want to trust you with parents like that."

"Her mum does care, just in a strange way. But yes they do play a part in her trust problems."

"Poor girl. Still she's lovely." She couldn't help but add... "I think she really does have feelings for you."

"How do you know that?"

"It's in her eyes when she talks about you, her eyes give away everything."

"Hmm...maybe. But we'll just have to see with that one. We've got a much bigger focus right now and we don't want to mess it up with a complicated relationship."

"No I guess not..." She didn't see them lasting with that one much longer. Even if they didn't see it she knew it wouldn't be long before one of them took their relationship further once more...


	38. Chapter 38

_Trying to keep Lisa under some kind of control was challenging enough without his Mother making it all the more difficult. He'd quickly got used to the fact that there was no telling Lisa anything and the more you insisted she shouldn't do something the more she felt the need to do it. But after the exhaustion she was obviously suffering from yesterday it never crossed his mind she'd do much more than relax in the house during their trip to London. How wrong was he! Waking up the next morning, rather later than normal, he fully expected Lisa to still be asleep but no she was already up dressed and chatting away to his mum, nothing out of the normal. Greeting the pair, through a yawn, his head was still asleep."Morning." Clocking that she was there and no in fact asleep as he expected he gave a puzzled look to her. "I thought you'd still be asleep."_

 _Pushing herself off the kitchen chair that she'd sat at for too long she smiles at him, grabbing her bag as she does."We're not all as lazy as you. Plus we're going out."_

 _Suddenly all sleepiness was gone and confusion took over."Out?! Where?!" His reaction was met with great amusement from both woman in the kitchen, only confusing him more. "What's so funny?!"_

" _I told you he wouldn't like it." Duffy replied, still giggling to herself before adding for his benefit. "We're going out shopping for the day if you must know."_

 _Now confusion was replaced with outrage how on earth could she think this was a good idea? "Shopping?! You're 38 weeks pregnant! I hardly think walking around London all day is the best idea!"_

 _Rolling her eyes and glancing towards Catherine with a `I knew he'd react like this` look upon her face she shakes her head but it was his mother who replied._

" _And? Your point been? So what if she's 38 weeks? What's wrong with a bit of shopping?"_

" _The trip down here was risky enough without adding a shopping trip mother! You know full well it could set off labour." One thing Duffy couldn't stand was people talking about her like she wasn't there and Andrew was terrible for it!_

" _So? It's hardly dangerous at this stage is it? I've rather had enough now anyway labour is more than welcomed. I'll be fine just spend time with your dad." Grabbing her coat, which didn't really fit at this stage, she knew he still wouldn't be pleased but honest couldn't care less._

 _Groaning he shakes his head in disgust, they really were impossible."Oh fine but come straight back if you don't feel right. Please!"_

 _Both woman began giggling once more before leaving the house without another word leaving Andrew nothing less than frustrated with the both of them. Duffy might have no problem with going into labour but he sure did! He didn't feel prepared in the slightest and an extra week or two would help greatly, or so he hoped anyway. He knew they had everything they needed but he still needed to get his head round it all and the fact that it was going to happen at any moment. He was a man who had a real need to have total control and there was no way he could have even the slightest control of this and that scared him._

 _You could never really be completely prepared and Duffy had accepted that, she'd had enough time to come to terms with it. Plus if Andrew had her backache and inability to get comfy anywhere she was sure he'd want this pregnancy over as soon as possible in all. At least she could breathe more easy since the baby finally dropped yesterday but other than that her symptoms didn't get any easier. But right now she had other things to focus on, they'd been in some insanely overpriced London based baby shop for quite a while now and so far she was failing to stop Catherine half the shop._

" _Seriously Catherine one baby grow is more than enough!" She couldn't help but gasp at the next product she shoved in her basket, how did people afford this?"Catherine! It's too expensive!"_

" _Don't be silly! I have the money and I want to, leave me be." Unfortunately enough for Duffy Catherine had a fantastic way of changing the conversation, something she was picking up on very quickly. "Andrew really cares for you, you know."_

 _Stopping she pretends to look at some cream coloured rabbits, whilst trying not to let Catherine see that in case she buys it. "I know he does..."_

" _I've not seen him like this with anyone else before. He's normally so carefree like it doesn't matter."_

" _That is how we were but even before all this I could see it heading somewhere else and it scared me. That wasn't how it was meant to be. Even though I told myself it was nothing a hundred times after we spilt."_

" _Scared you?"_

" _I've been hurt too many times before to go back into a relationship that easily." Lisa had told her quite openly how scared she was when she found how she was pregnant but not much about their relationship before that point._

" _He wouldn't hurt you love, not on purpose. He might not think half the time but what man does? I really have never seen him care for anyone the way he cares for you." Smiling Catherine places a hand on Lisas arm before continuing with her shopping._


	39. Chapter 39

p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;"emAs much as she shockingly enjoyed been down in London she had to admit it was good to be home again. It's hard to completely relax in someone else's home more so when it's someone you don't know. Been heavily pregnant didn't help in the slightest as she often woke in the middle of the night and didn't feel comfortable getting up and wandering around. At the moment sleeping for more than a couple of hours at time was a mission and she was well aware this was to be her life for quite some time, she was hardly going to be sleeping much with a newborn was she? Megan kept getting on at her to get as much sleep as possible but it was easier said than done when there so much to do. Andrew's nerves at not been prepared for the impending arrival were beginning to rub off on her. Still there was nothing they could do now but wait and hope they were ready, it was going to happen regardless anyway. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;"emPushing herself off the couch, which felt like an Olympic sport nowadays, she began walking, well it was more waddling now, to answer the door. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emMegan I must give you a key." Laughing was her first response knowing instantly what the younger woman was getting at. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emGetting up and walking that hard now?" Following her back into the living room she wasn't shocked Duffy was struggling her bump was that big now but the rest of her just seemed to be the same size as before. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emYes! Ever since this child dropped just walking is such a mission. I know I've complained for weeks but honestly I had nothing to moan about compared to this." Laughing again slightly she joins Duffy on the couch, more eager to find out how meeting Andrews parents went. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emYou're lucky the baby dropped so late on. Anyway come on how did London go I got next to nothing out of you on the phone?" /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emIt was fine, his parents are really nice although it was more his mum I seen really. The trip down was more tiring that I thought I must of slept most of the next day as a result and coming home wasn't much better."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emNo wonder, I did tell you it was too much. You did sound exhausted on the phone. They were alright with you then?"/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emYeah, she was always at him after we broke up to come back and try again. When I found out I was pregnant I insisted he told his mum, which before you say I know is cheeky since I didn't tell mine for weeks but anyway she was furious when she found out we'd broke up."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emThat's good, I thought she'd have taken his side."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emMe too, I was terrified to meet her. I was expecting this woman who thought I'd tricked her son and not to be trusted but she wasn't like that all. She did ask about the break up and sort of where we were now but her main focus the baby, nothing else was really important." That was something Megan was wondering herself, where they were now, and since it had been brought up she couldn't resist./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emI'm glad she's sees it that way, she's right. Since you brought that up where are you two now?" Rolling her eyes and pulling her hair out of her face she knew she shouldn't have brought that up./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emOh Megan I don't know is the simple answer. We keep saying we're just friends and there's too much at risk if we mess up another relationship but he's very jealous, he thought I was sleeping with Charlie the other week."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emCharlie? How did that come about?" To be completely honest here Megan wasn't in the slightest bit shocked, Duffy was very cuddly with Charlie when away from work and it was only a matter of time before a partner took that in the wrong way after all even at work they stood so unnaturally close to each other like lovers. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emAndrew came home after you went to catch the train and Charlie was still there. He must of made him feel uncomfortable as he left just after Andrew came home then Andrew lost it. He started implying there was more going on using the excuse that we sat so close to each other and were so touchy feely he went on finding a hundred excuses." Although she knew that there wasn't anything between Duffy Charlie other than friendship she didn't see how Andrew had a say if there was after all if Duffy him were just friends it wasn't his place even if she was carrying his child. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emMen! What happened then?" She went silent for a moment, not really wanting to admit what happened next. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emI yelled at him and then we ended up kissing..." Shaking her head Megan let out a single laugh in response. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emYou two are not over in the slightest! It's obvious he still sees you as a girlfriend and don't tell me you don't see him like that because if you did you wouldn't be snogging him." /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emMegan!" She couldn't help but laugh, it was hardly a normal relationship."Yes I do have feelings for him but right now is not the time to act on it. It's best to just go with the flow and see what happens. Anyway new topic of conversation, he'll be back soon."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emBack soon? Does he live here now or something?" /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emWell yes in a way. He's not left me since we got back, he's too worried I'll go into labour on my own so insists on staying here until the baby is born but it's not like he's going to leave after that either is it?" This certainly sounded more and more like they were back together the more she got into it. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #009933;""emNot a hope and you're saying you're not back together?"/em/span/p 


	40. Chapter 40

_Walking up for what seemed like the 100_ _th_ _time that night she groaned to herself quietly. At 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant she knew a good night sleep wasn't possible but the braxton hicks contractions were really taking the piss tonight and it was only 2 am. She'd been having contractions on and off for the past week and a half but they'd usually stopped after a few hours at the most and simply walking around got rid of them but she didn't have the energy to get up tonight, a week of false labour had seen to that. Giving in with them eventually she forces herself out the bed quietly, Andrew was sleeping on the couch in the next room and the last thing she wanted was to wake him up, hoping to ease them off not even considering this was the real thing, she'd given up hope of that happening naturally more so since she was now booked in for an induction in three days. She was simply too exhausted to notice that they didn't feel the same tonight as they used to. As soon as her feet touched the floor as she straightened her back the intensity of the contraction tripled to the point she was forced to grab the side of the bed to cope with it. She took a sharp intake of breath as she realised this was not braxton hicks anymore. Why was it always in the middle of the night?_

 _It wasn't until 7am before Andrew woke completely unaware that Duffy was in labour in the next room since she'd taken the decision he'd only panic and wind her up so she just left him to wake up on his own, he didn't sleep too late right now anyway. It seemed like the easier option, well until he found out anyway not that she even considered that. He found her in the kitchen, her hands grasping the units with her head almost resting on it, her eyes were heavy from no sleep and her hair covering her half her face. Still half asleep himself it took a few moments to process what was going on and when he finally did he almost jumped forward to her, placing one hand on her back._

" _Lisa? Are you alright?" The reply was short finished with a sharp intake of the contraction finally eased. He could be so thick sometimes._

" _Does it look like it?!" As soon as it finally stopped she stood up straight slowly and turned to face him, realising by the look on his face what was coming._

" _How long have you been having contractions?" She wasn't sure of the time anymore so turns her head to the kitchen clock. It had all just meshed together._

" _Umm...At least 5 hours I'm not really sure." His face turned from shock to anger, she knew he wouldn't be pleased but she knew how long this could go on so long that she decided he needed the sleep. There was no use them both been completely exhausted. She'd tried herself to sleep between contractions but it wasn't easy and they were too regular now._

" _5 hours?! Why didn't you wake me? How regular are they?"_

" _There was no point Andrew!You'd only panic and I've been fine. I'd have woke you if I needed to. I thought it best you got more sleep then at least one of us wouldn't be half asleep all day. Every 6 minutes now." Trying to get anything through to this woman was bloody impossible!_

" _You are medically trained you should know it's not always plain sailing! I can't believe you didn't wake me! Let me get dressed and we'll go to the hospital." She was exhausted, after a week of false contractions and no sleep who wouldn't be? Her mood was never brilliant right now but at this particular moment it was safe to say it was at it's worst. Resting against the kitchen unit she knew another contraction was about to start but it didn't stop her yelling back in reply. Her voice got more tense and frustrated as another contraction began to take over. Why did he always like a child?_

" _Will you stop yelling at me! I don't want to go into hospital yet! You are more trained than I am so should bloody know how slow the first stage of labour is, if my waters had broke or there was any sign of me going into the second stage I'd have bloody got you up but there wasn't! So just shut the hell up!" Grabbing the unit once more, sort of side on so she could continue what she had to say, her face tensed up and her voice became broken in pain."Don't think for one moment that I won't kick you out of here! This is hard enough without you starting a bloody fight!" He wasn't an idiot, he knew she would and after everything they'd gone through to get to this point he wasn't risking going right back to level one. Not to mention the last thing she needed whilst in labour was a fight. To be honest he should have known better than to have a go at her in the first place more so since she was actually making sense. Moving forward he placed a hand on her shoulder, still determined to get her into hospital. He knew better than to pressure or anger her during a contraction but as soon as she lets out a heavy breath he takes a chance._

" _I'm sorry. I just panicked. You're right but it is best to get checked out." Sighing without answering she shakes her head and begins to head for the living room, opting for the comfy chairs instead of the wooden harsh chairs in the kitchen although she doubted she'd want to sit down for very long. Andrew stayed stood in the door frame, his arms folded not too impressed with her ignoring him._

" _Duffy, I really think it's best you get checked out." Sighing once more, she rolls her eyes why did he overreact to everything?_

" _No there's no need yet you know that. I'm just as well here at this stage." Trying not to sigh himself it was obvious he was not going to get through to her right now she was so stubborn_

 _. But then in he were honest she did appear to be quite calm and in control of everything and not slightly nervous whereas his heart felt like it was doing back flips with nerves._


	41. Chapter 41

Some time had passed now, the sun was beginning to go down and to say she was exhausted had to the be the understatement of the year. She'd given into Andrew's demands to go into the hospital half an hour later but it seemed as soon as she was admitted everything came to a halt. Her contractions had slowed down considerably to the point that the staff suggested they returned home, happy that they'd know when it was best to come back in not to mention that Duffy had so far refused all pain relief, something Andrew was yet to understand, so it wasn't as if she was any better off in hospital. Now back in the flat once more, against Andrews wish to take her to his bottom floor flat rather than her top floor flat, she'd decided it might be best to let Megan know what was going on. She'd be reluctant to call her earlier since it was her day off but now that everything had stalled and wasn't going really to plan she found herself needing someone who understood. That person should have been her mother but as expected she was still on her cruise, something she was yet to forgive her for. To say she got a mouthful from Megan for taking so long to contact her was another understatement of the day but that one was far more expected. Having eventually convinced Andrew she'd be fine for twenty minutes and then convincing Megan of the same thing she was enjoying the peace as Andrew left to pick up Megan. The silence gave her time for her mind to wander if she were to be honest she was terrified of the fact that in no time at all she was going to be a mother than the thought of giving birth and the pain of labour. In the next day, or two if she were unlucky, she was going to be completely responsible for another person. How was that not terrifying? Maybe the fact her own relationship with her mother was at best strained made her all the more nervous about becoming a mother herself but she had to tell herself she was not her mum. She knew no one was perfect, everyone made mistakes as a parent but it didn't calm her nerves. Still it wasn't just herself she had to be nervous for as she kept saying her and Andrew didn't know each other as well as first time parents should so she was completely clueless at how he was going to react to their lives completely changing overnight. Part of her reminded herself at how well he dealt with kids at work, he was a caring person and had tried to prove himself to her many times now but that little voice in the back of her mind kept going on at how he'd gone before and could again. Shaking herself from her thoughts as another contraction took hold she told herself to just focus on the present not the future or the past.

Now in the car heading back to Duffy's flat it was a bit awkward to say the least not that Megan & Andrew deeply disliked each other but then they were never very close either. There was just something about him Megan didn't warm too. Still she needed to make an effort and he was better than some Duffy's previous boyfriends she had to admit. He could be a lot worse and did seem to care for her.

"So how long has she been in labour then?" He knew when Duffy told him that the contractions started but he got the feeling she'd not really been telling the whole truth.

"Your guess is as good as mine Megan. She woke up in the middle of the night with contractions so she tells me but didn't wake me up. Apparently I would have just annoyed her. "

"Typical Duffy then." As Megan spoke those words quite innocently he got an insight to what Lisa was constantly like. He wasn't lying he really did want to be more than the father of her baby but she constantly refused to give away her true feelings through words. Sadly for her he could see it in her eyes that she felt the same way he did but understandably was more nervous at taking that step. He could see her point she had a complicated life and he hadn't a clue what kind of father he was going to make. It always seemed to come more naturally to woman than it did to men. Despite her strict reputation, which he believed Lisa liked having, he knew she melted when it came to kids. But at the moment he was more nervous about the upcoming birth than what came after it.

"Then of course she didn't understand why I was so annoyed with her at not waking me up."

"Well you should have guessed by now she'll always try to do something completely alone than ask for help or support."

"Oh I know that! I've found out that the hard way."

"It's her mothers fault. Just don't push her and don't hurt her and she'll eventually let you closer to her. She won't be this shut to you all the time, she's just vulnerable at the moment."

Some time later Andrew was in the kitchen finally getting something to eat, at the insistence of both woman. Duffy's contractions had slowly been getting more intense and closer together throughout the evening but she still felt she was more comfortable at home than stuck in a hospital bed. He knew there was no telling her so had decided she'd tell him when she wanted to eventually go into the hospital but a large part of him was still worried she was going to leave it too late and end up giving birth in the flat. He was amazed by her though, she rarely made a sound during contractions other than the odd 'Ooh' or a heavy sigh once one had finished. She had so much strength and made it look a lot less painful than he knew it was. He'd seen many woman in labour and give birth and each handled in differently but it was completely different when it was your child they were in labour with. She'd been awake since at least 2am with contractions and the time was now 10.00pm yet she'd not slept since, despite him trying to get her to sleep earlier on in the day, how she had the energy to keep wandering around the living room he didn't know. He'd only been gone half an hour and only in the next room, having been told to take his time, but on his return to the living room he could instantly tell her labour had picked up a notch. She was now on her hands and knees with Megan putting small pressure on her back in an attempt to ease the pain. On seeing him return Megan looks up.

"It's got a lot more intense now." Moving forward to them both he also gets on knees, feeling out of place standing above the both of them.

I can see that, how far apart are her contractions?" Megan replied without looking up this time, more concerned for Duffy than been polite to Andrew.

"Only two minutes, I think you might be best to call an ambulance Andrew." He waited to hear Lisa object for a moment but not a word came from her she was no longer completely silent with instead softly moaning and he wasn't sure she was even listening to himself and Megan. Still he didn't agree an ambulance was the best option, god knows how long that would take to arrive and then get there. No it was best to drive.

"I can drive, it's quicker." Suddenly Lisa had found her voice once more. She was short with him, each sentence spoke as quick as she could and finished with a sharp intake of breath. She didn't have time or energy to explain anything to him so shouting and been as blunt as she could be was the only option.  
"You are not driving me anywhere not unless you want me giving birth in the car! Call an ambulance!"


	42. Chapter 42

p style="text-align: center;" /p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;"emWith Duffy now up safely up in the delivery suite, not that Megan felt she'd be there for very long, she decided to pop down to Casualty and update Charlie since she couldn't be with her. She found him slumped in his chair pretending, by the looks of it, to be doing paperwork. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emNow don't you look busy there." Swinging around in his chair on hearing her voice he laughs as she just leans in the doorway. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emWhat are you going in? It's your day off, you that in love with this place?" Deciding to enter the office and pull out the seat next to him she smiles and shakes her head./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emNo I'm not you sod. I've come in with Duffy, she's in labour."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emOh at last! How is she? Drugged to the eyeballs?"/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emShe's fine, tired though. She's been in labour since at least 2am. No when I left she was still refusing it all."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""em21 hours without any pain relief? Is she mad? She's only just come in now?"/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emMust be. I didn't think she'd be the type to go all natural, more so with her first. Yeah, well /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;"emshe was in this morning at Andrews insistence but they sent her home. She's very close, I'd /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;"emsay within the next hour that baby will be born." Shaking his head he smiles, that woman was too stubborn for her own good. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emShe's mad to leave it so late, she should know better. How's Andrew coping with it all?"/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emThere is no telling her, you know that. But it's not as if she's clueless on the matter and she was fully prepared to do it alone although if she had I think she would have come in a lot sooner. It's not as if she was on her own, both Andrew and I were there if suddenly everything did move fast and plus she didn't want any pain relief so she was just as well labouring at home. He's fine just annoyed that she left him to sleep for five hours rather than waking him up when she went into labour."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emI guess so. He really doesn't know her does he? How do you think he'll cope once the baby is born?"/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emNo and that's worrying but it's got nothing to do with us. I haven't a clue, he seems dedicated to her but that's now. I just hope he doesn't leg it when it gets tough."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emMe too..."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;"emUpstairs it was getting intense to say the least. There was no real break in contractions now to the point she'd finally given in to the option of gas and air to help with the pain. To make matters worse the sodding beds didn't help with the pain but made it all the more worse and she was only 6cm dilated. On arriving having been reassured that nothing would happen in the next ten minutes Andrew had gone off to phone his parents, having forgot about this earlier but there was no way of contacting Kate to update her she was just going to have to find out when she finally returned home which they both think should be in about two or three days. Assuming they still had a while to go yet Andrew began to read today's paper when Lisa suddenly grabbed both sides of the bed and pushed herself up further. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emWhat's wrong?" Her eyes were shut tight and the gas and air pump flung across the side of the bed. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emOoh I need to push!" Alarmed he couldn't help but question her, that couldn't be right. She had to be mistaken. Right? /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emYou can't do! You were only checked half an hour ago." Yelling back she didn't give a damn when she was checked, it didn't matter. Suddenly the doctor, who had no long left, was back in the room and right up at them. As if she wouldn't know? /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emI don't care! I do!" A nurse came to her side, attempting to reassure her but it was Andrew that needed reassurance as he still insisted on arguing with her. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emDon't push until you've been checked." The nurse was attempting to pass the gas and air pump back to her but she barely noticed, now to busy yelling back at Andrew and trying not to push. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emStop telling me what to do Andrew!" Before he could answered it was the doctor that spoke up / "No she's right, I can see the head. It's go time guys." One of the nurses couldn't help but notice Andrew's face, it was like someone had just punched him in the face and that's just what it felt like. He was completely in shock, this was really happening, and quickly. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;"emCuriosity getting the better of them they decided to pop upstairs to find out how everything was going. Charlie, having not seen her, expected to be told she was still in labour but Megan insisted she'd either be in the last stages of labour or had already given birth. Having argued the whole way upstairs at who was right it had turned into more of a bet than just general nosiness and excitement. As soon as they arrived it was Charlie that spotted Alana first, one of the senior nurses there, calling over to her. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emAlana? How's Duffy getting on?" Smiling, she approaches the pair of them instead of going to doing the paperwork she should be doing. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #990099;""emDuffy? She's grand, she had a bouncing baby boy about 5 minutes ago."/em/span/p 


	43. Chapter 43

_Exhaustion simply wasn't the word today for either of them. She'd tried to convince Andrew to go back to one of the flats to get at least some sleep but it was all to no avail. By the time they were finally left alone without doctors and nurses in and out for various reason it was the early hours of the morning and he simply didn't want to leave them opting to instead sleep on the armchair at her side. She had to admit it felt nice, strange but nice, to have him at her side it wasn't something she was used to. As a person who'd become a custom to dealing with everything alone to now have someone fight to be there for her and their child was so different but she was scared, scared to get used to it and for it to disappear._

 _Forcing herself upright in the bed she had found to her cost people weren't kidding when the complained at how difficult recovering after giving birth was. She knew what to expect but it didn't make it any easier, possibly worse really as she knew what was still to come. She smiled over at Andrew, half asleep in the armchair with their newborn son asleep in his arms, and cringed at the flooding memories of yesterday and rather large amount of times she'd yelled at him for any reason she could think of._

 _She couldn't help but "Ooh" as she moved upright struggling to catch her breath slightly as she attempted to get out the bed, feeling the need to walk around rather than give into the temptation to stay in bed all day. Andrew's head shot up on hearing her, wondering what she was up to now, regardless of the fact she'd just given birth he still found it hard to get her to relax._

" _Where on earth are you going?" She began to twist her body to help her out of the bed, finding it harder than she'd expected._

" _I just need to walk about a bit, calm down." He wasn't listening, still been over cautious with her._

" _Wait a moment until I put him down so I can help you." In the same fashion she ignored him as much as he was her. It was hardly as if she was going to run a marathon was it?_

" _I don't need help, I'll be fine." He had a quick look about for a nurse, anyone to help her but it was quiet and with them been in a private room there was rarely anyone around now._

" _But you've not walked about yet, I'd feel calmer if you let me help." Making the final move she pushed her palms into the bed, trying hard not to make the pain it caused her obvious, before finally standing up._

" _Stay there, if you move you'll wake the baby up and then they're be hell to pay. I'm fine." Giving up he knew there was no telling her, her mind was set and there was no changing it._

" _He's sound asleep, a plane landing in the room wouldn't wake him. Just be careful." She didn't go far, not having the strength or energy but she did walk slowly round the bed before sitting on the armchair next to Andrew and the baby._

" _I've not had a section there is no reason I couldn't be up and about straight after. He'll need fed soon, he won't be asleep for long." Smiling she gazes down at her baby son but addresses his dad. "Are you ever going to let him go?"_

" _Never...You got to carry him for 9 months, it's my turn." Laughing she shakes her head._

" _Oh alright then but you could do with some sleep. I'm sure the on call room will be free around now. Don't say you don't need it because you do and your parents will here soon and then it will just be constant after that."_

" _You're the one who gave birth not me! It's you that should be resting."_

" _I've slept basically since the moment he was born, you haven't. Go on. I'll send someone to get you if your parents turns up." Sighing he shakes his head and gives in once more, knowing she was right and unsure how much longer he'd be able to stay awake anyway._

" _Oh alright. Go back to bed and I'll pass him to you." With a smile on her face she raises her eyebrows and holds out her arms._

" _I'm quite happy here thank you. Come on, pass him over and get lost." Passing him over to her slowly he just laughs._

" _You're a nightmare you are, just promise me you'll ask for help if you need it."_

" _Yeah yeah, I'll be fine. Go on get lost and think of some baby names will you I've had enough of 'the baby' already."_

 _He wasn't long gone before she began to get visitors, she was still sitting on the armchair with her son in her arms when they arrived._

" _Now don't you look at home there." Shooting her head up she smiles on spotting Megan and Charlie in the doorway, both smiling back at her. They'd both decided to wait until the next before going in to sleep Duffy, knowing how exhausted she would have been last night. As he finished his night shift Charlie had announced to the staff about the late night arrival but did pop in a request to leave her until late morning and not to spend all their shifts upstairs with her, despite knowing they'd ignore him._

" _Hey you two! Come on sit down." Moving closer towards her they both on either side of her, desperate to see the baby. Charlie was the next to speak as Megan was still smiling down at the tiny baby._

" _How you feeling? Where's Andrew?" Looking upwards towards Charlie she smiles softly before lying through her teeth._

" _Ah I'm fine. Oh he's sleeping in the on call room, it's taken me hours to convince him to go get some sleep." Charlie simply laughed whereas Megan let out a single laugh before arguing with her._

" _Liar! Too in love with the little man is he? Are you going to introduce us?" Choosing to ignore her comment she passes her sleeping son to Megan as she answers._

" _Yes, he's been in his glory since I've been sleeping so much. Well at the moment he's still baby no name I'm afraid." Grinning down she cuddles baby no name closely to her._

" _Ooh aren't you adorable? He's so tiny Duffy!"_

" _Pfft hardly! He's 6lbs!"_

" _That's nothing the baby grow is even too big for him!" Laughing she knew Megan was right, that was the smallest item of clothing they had for him too, both expecting a big baby since she was overdue._

" _It didn't feel like it yesterday that's for sure!"_


	44. Chapter 44

p style="text-align: center;" /p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emHow about William?" She back in bed, at the insistence of Megan earlier this morning and Andrew was back on the armchair with their still unnamed baby son. They'd been arguing over names for about 20 minutes,in between visits, and getting nowhere. Although to be fair Andrew had made various suggestions all to which Duffy had the same answer. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emNo." /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emLucas then?" He saying the first name that came into his head now she knew that. Sighing she shook her head once more. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emNo"/em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emTristan?" That one outraged her more, what a terrible name! He was getting more and more public school boy with every suggestion. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emGod no! Andrew!" He didn't see why she was protesting so much. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emWhat's wrong with Tristan?" Shaking her head she couldn't help but laugh. She hadn't made any suggestions herself more so because she asked him what names he liked, not expecting him to argue about it for so long or for him to have so many suggestions. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emWhat's right with it?! The poor kid would be beaten up!" She was impossible! /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emIt's not that bad Lisa!" Laughing as she answered him she didn't think his name choices would be so terrible. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emIt is! What else you got? How about family names?" He wasn't sure how to answer that one, it wasn't something he'd suggested so far. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emI didn't think you'd want family names." Taking her now crying son from him she shrugs as she attempts to calm the upset baby down. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emWhy not? There's no one in my family to name him after. Well bar my Grandfather but I barely knew him, mum and him didn't get on so what's the point? So if he's going to be named after family it might as well be after your side. Anyway boys are normally get names from the fathers side rather than the mothers if you're going that way." He wanted to ask more about her grandfather but knew better than to press her on that one, plus he could guess it had a lot to do with her mother been a single parent. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emOkay. Well my Grandfathers were called Peter and John, although I much prefer Peter." Her face instantly changed but what she was thinking he didn't know. It was the name she'd planned for a boy before Andrew turned up but the last thing she wanted to admit was that. She didn't like the name purely because it was her previous boyfriends name, it was a name she always had planned for a boy and her ex hadn't put her off. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emPeter? I like that name... It was one of the names I'd thought about before..."She couldn't do it, someone was sure to blow it. She had to tell him. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emReally? So we going with that?" /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emYeah, it doesn't sound like a public school boy name like the rest of your suggestions." She smiled before continuing, knowing she had to. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emBut I have to be honest with you. I used to date someone called Peter over 2 years ago."/em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emOh..." He wasn't sure what to think about the name now. But this ex was obviously not a part of her life now, he had to keep that in his mind. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emI still like the name and it has a meaning to you and he wasn't the reason I'd thought of the name it was simply one I really like. But if I didn't tell sure as hell someone from AE would." /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"emIt wasn't too long later before his parents turned up and Duffy felt ready to sleep once more but the worry of appearing rude in front of Andrews parents was stronger than the growing need to get more sleep. They'd had very little time alone all day or more to the point little time to sleep. It was something she'd expected with knowing so many staff in a hospital you had to expected a lot of visitors which she definitely had got. Forcing herself upwards she smiles as they both walked towards her, both with a few bags in each hand she hadn't failed to notice. It was his mum who was first to speak as she approached Lisa and her sleeping Grandson in her arms. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emHello Love, how are you feeling?" His dad Richard, smiling as he sat next to his son rolling his eyes at his wife's stupid question. Duffy caught it and tried hard not to laugh as she began to answer but Richard got in first./em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emYou're a medically professional Catherine, you know how she feels. Bloody awful not doubt." That was it! There was no hiding how much she found them humorous anymore. She'd not seen this side to them before and she liked it. As strange as it sounded they seemed more normal this time or maybe just more comfortable with her, more so Richard. Catherine however did not see the funny side, choosing instead to be outraged at her husband, Andrew agreeing with her./em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emRichard! Language! There is no need to be so rude." Rolling her eyes she shook her head at him, not amused in the slightest while Andrew folded his arms and did a similar look despite Lisas obvious amusement. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emYes I agree! Come on Dad. Can't you try to be polite?" /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emSorry, I couldn't help it. Go on Lisa." Through laughing she managed to answer, just about, trying hard not to wake the baby in her arms. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emWell I was going to say alright but I think Richard is pretty much bang on." Moving closer to Andrew she began to pass their son to him as she continued. "Do you want to do introductions?" /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emDon't encourage him!" Holding their son close, his parents now on either side of him as Duffy just continued to laugh as his parents both took in their newborn grandson. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emAww he's adorable!"/em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emHe is! So small, looks just like you Lisa."/em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"emSo far they'd continued to tell people they'd not reached an agreement on a name but that wasn't really true. Instead of automatically announcing the name to everyone they'd decided to wait until they'd told him parents and would have waited until her mum was home but since they hadn't a clue when that was they decided to just tell her when she eventually turned up. "Well we wanted you both to be first to know but we've decided on a name, after arguing all day." Rolling her eyes Duffy shakes her head at him. /em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emYou didn't need to add that last bit thank you."/em/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;""emSorry! But anyway this is Peter Bower."/em/p 


	45. Chapter 45

p style="text-align: center;" /p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;"emCurled up on her armchair she let her head fall onto her shoulder as pure exhaustion took hold and overpowered the need to do anything productive. She'd been home a few days and was yet to get past the feeling that all this wasn't real not that she had much time to really think in between nappy changes, feeds and visitors all she did was sleep she had little energy for anything else. Andrews parents were still up and had their sons flat all to themselves since he was staying with Lisa, although they did spent most of the day with her and baby Peter anyway. Andrew was already back at work having only just started in the position he was in was not entitled to any holidays and was lucky to get the first few days off. He was reassured slightly that she had his parents there to support her more so since her own mother had yet to make an appearance. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;"emAs the loud knocking began to echo through the small flat Catherine was anxious for it not to wake Lisa since she'd been up since god knows what time or her sleeping grandson curled up in his grandfathers arms. She felt a bit rude answering someone else's door but not enough to let it keep going. The woman behind the door was in her late 40s early 50s and someone she didn't recognise, this woman certainly hadn't visited before. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emHello can I help you?" The woman did not look amused in the slightest, her arms folded. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emMore like can I help you, who are you and what are you doing here? Where's my daughter?" Ah so this was her mother she heard about, more from Andrew than Lisa. Well at least she turned up before her grandson turned a week old. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOh you must be Kate. I'm Catherine, Andrews mum. Nice to meet you, Lisa is asleep right now in the living room." Moving from the door frame she allows the woman to pass through, hoping she'd keep quiet but knowing all the same she wouldn't. She suddenly understood why Lisa was so evasive about her. Following Kate into the flat she stops her just as she was about to open the living room door./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emErm, Lisa is still asleep at the moment why don't we have a cup of tea?"The slightly raised voice was enough to stir her from her sleep, already trained to hear the softest of noises and wake. Rubbing her eyes she pushes herself unwillingly from her chair and into the hall where/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;"emshe found her Mother and Catherine obviously disagreeing over something. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOh sorry love I didn't mean to wake you."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;"emDon't worry Catherine, you didn't." To say you could cut the tension with a knife was an understatement. Sensing they didn't need another body to make matters worse Catherine smiles and begins to head to the living room opting to sit with Richard instead./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emI'll just be in the lounge if you need me." Smiling part of her wished she'd stay, falsely hoping her mother would be more polite if Catherine stayed around, as if that would happen./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emThanks Catherine. Hello mum. Cup of tea? Enjoy your cruise?" She began to walk into her kitchen before her mum even got the chance to answer, hoping if an argument did start it wouldn't wake Peter. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYes please, yes very relaxing, just what I needed." Sitting at the kitchen table as her daughter began to make the tea she forced herself to be polite but all the same she wasn't interested in general chit chat, all she was interested in was meeting her grandson at last. Still she knew better than to admit that to Lisa. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emGood. When did you get back?" Her words may appear pleased but the way she spoke them made it clear she was still angry and hurt but her mothers timing to go on holiday but she remains polite all the same, passing her the cup of tea and taking coffee for herself as she gleefully sits back down at the table whilst her mother answers her. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYesterday, I got Andrews message but I was home quite late and didn't wish to disturb you both. Where is he?" Smiling she decides to be difficult, it was more fun. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYes good idea, chances are we'd have been awake but maybe not so chatty. Who? Andrew or the baby?" Rolling her eyes at Lisa she groans, knowing she did that on purpose. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emThe baby of course!" Laughing she begins to get off her seat once more, leaving the coffee on the table. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYes I know I'm only winding you up, he's asleep with Richard at the moment but I'll go get him." Even with the exhaustion of a newborn her daughter still managed to be alert enough to wind her up. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emWho is Richard?" /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emAndrews dad, they're staying with him until next week. They're helping us out."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOh...that's nice of them..."She couldn't help but smile at the fact that her mother was so obviously put out by the fact that his parents were obviously so involved and most likely so well bonded with her grandson already. But then it was her own fault and she must of just assumed they wouldn't be interested but she was wrong and he was just her grandson. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYes it is, I'll be back in a minute." Opening the living room door she found Catherine sorting and folding the already mountains of laundry and Richard nearly asleep on the couch with Peter. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emEverything alright love?" Walking straight to Richard she answers Catherine, resisting the temptation to sit down and chat with them instead. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYeah it's fine. Catherine you don't need to do that, sit down. I somehow don't think my mum wait until Peter wakes up to see him do you? " /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emDon't be silly, I've got little else to do. No I don't think so and I don't blame her."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYou'll make me feel guilty. Lets just hope he stays asleep." Slowly she takes her son from Richards arms and breathes a sigh of relief when he doesn't wake in her arms. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emRubbish, go with Peter to your mum."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emThanks Catherine." Leaving the comforts of the living room she slowly, as not to wake Peter, heads back to the kitchen shutting the door behind her as she enters the room./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emI hope he doesn't wake up or you'll hear about it." Passing the newborn into her mothers arms she sits back down to her coffee as her mothers face lights up which doesn't help her stay angry at her. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOh he's adorable. Aren't you? Does he have a name?" Smiling she begins to soften with her mum, despite her best attempt. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYeah, Peter. That was an argument and a half." She liked that, a good bible name and not some god awful made up name that have become so common now she found the fact that nearly everyone called her daughter Duffy instead of Lisa annoying enough. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emPeter? That's lovely. How much did he weigh? I don't think Andrew said in his message." /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""6emlbs 8 at birth but he was quite a bit less when we left the hospital. I can't remember what, I was half asleep when they told me." /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emAh won't take him long to put it back on. Ah he's just so adorable. Did you have a long labour then?" /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emNo he'll be massive before I know it. Erm well longer than your average first, about 22 hours." /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emNot the easiest of times then. How are you feeling now?" Yes she might have been away at time when most people say you need your mother most but her daughter wasn't like most woman. Even from an early age she was independent and it allowed them both to live their lives the way they wanted without interference, or so Kate seen it anyway. She had just become too used to letting her daughter do everything alone not understanding that it wasn't the way she wanted to be but rather the way she was brought up and the way she had to be. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emWell no, not really but it was without complications, it wasn't too bad. I've seen worse. Oh alright, sore and tired but that's to be expected." Duffy was used to coping without her mother or much support by now but now and again she wished it wasn't always that way. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emWell it would be a miracle if you wearn't. How is Andrew coping with it all?" She answered automatically, not thinking how Kate was going to take her next answer. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOh he's loving it, sleepless nights and 2am feeds in all." Staying over? Hmm.../em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emHe's staying here?" Uh oh. Here we go. Back to the relationship argument again. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emWell yeah, on the couch. No we are not back together before you ask." Smiling down at her /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;"emnow awake grandson she didn't believe a word her daughter told her. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emYeah well lets see how long your mum last with that one eh Peter?" Slightly outraged she folds her arms, trying to keep her voice down. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emWhat do you mean by that?" She wasn't fussed but her daughters outrage, she knew it meant she was right. If she really had no feelings for Andrew then she have just brushed off her comments and moved the conversation onwards. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emNothing dear, nothing at all." Sighing she rolls her eyes once more. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emMother how many times I have I told you we are not..." Before she could say much more Andrew's voice interrupted them as he entered the kitchen curious to see what they were talking about. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emNot what?"/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOh...Andrew, you're home.." quickly changing her mind she swaps to "back early I mean."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emNot really, just there wasn't much traffic today. Now what were you saying? Don't let me interrupt." She knew he was just been nosy and more interested in his son, more so since he was peering over Kate's shoulder making faces at the slightly grumpy baby./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOh nothing just mindless girl talk, you wouldn't be interested. Fancy going and telling your mum to stop whatever housework she's doing and to take a break while I sort out Peters bottle now that he's awake?" She was desperate to get him out the room before her mother said another word. Knowing it was easier to agree he smiles and heads out the door. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emOkay if you insist. Nice to see you Kate." Smiling and nodding at him the moment he's left the room she grins at her daughter. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emNot back together eh? Then why wouldn't you tell him what you were saying?" She wasn't in the mood for this, she didn't have the energy. Trying to ignore her mother she begins to sort out her sons bottle but knows Kate won't stop there, it wasn't in her nature to know when to shut up. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emMum stop it, please." Now swaying Peter, who was softly crying, she wasn't giving up that easily. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #800080;""emWhy won't you just admit you love him?" /em/span/p 


	46. Chapter 46

p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;"emPeace and quiet had descended over the flat once more, well as much as possible with a newborn anyway, now that her mother and Andrews parents had decided to head and leave them too it. Peter was sound asleep once more and Duffy half way through doing the mountain of dishes when Andrew entered the kitchen, something obviously on his mind. She knew he was going to ask something but continues to do the dishes and array of baby bottles instead of quizzing him. Sitting at the kitchen table he ponders how to ask her before deciding on just coming straight out with it, it was easier that way. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emWhat were you and your mum talking about earlier?" With her back to him she safely rolls her eyes, not this again. Trying to sound like it wasn't important she puts on her best carefree tone hoping he'd buy it. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emAre you still wondering about that?" He already had a fair idea what she was saying but wanted to hear it out of her mouth after all he'd misjudged her before and she was most defiantly was unpredictable at this moment in time thanks to raging hormones. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYes, you were telling her something...What was it?" With her carefree tone still on she still refuses to turn round to face him, knowing she'd crack if she did and right now that was something she could not afford. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emOh I don't even remember now, most she said something stupid and I was arguing just forget about it." He wasn't buying it, she knew that but hoped he'd drop it. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emLiar...You said I have told you we are not then stopped when I came in." He waited for her answer but she'd gone silent, pretending to really scrub some glass instead. "You were talking about us wearn't you?" She wasn't up for all this, she was exhausted and needed to go to bed not stay up to have a serious chat about 'where they were and where we are going'. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emIf you already know then why ask me? I don't see the point of this." He knew she didn't want to talk but she never did when it came to their relationship, if you could call it that but he had to know. All this not knowing was getting tiring quickly. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emWhat were you telling her?" Sighing she finally gives up, abandoning the dishes and sits next to him at the kitchen table. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emShe was asking if we were getting back together, she seems to be obsessed about it right now." Why did he pick night time to bring this up? Couldn't it wait until morning? /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emAnd you told her no?" She didn't want to answer but didn't fully understand why she was finding all this so difficult. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYes..." He wasn't hurt by this instead using it as an excuse to bring up their relationship once more. She'd said it before to his face so what interested him now was that this time she couldn't. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emBut you wouldn't say it in front of me?" She couldn't lie, he knew the answer to that one. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emNo..." /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emWhy? You've said it before." Again silence, her eyes locked on the table rather than him. "Not been able to say it to me suggests you don't really think it." Sighing she wanted out of his conversation, it was getting too serious. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYou sound just like my bloody mother!" He keeps his tone soft, even though she raises hers, not wanting to wake Peter or push her too far. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emWell? Is it true?" /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emI don't know Andrew! Right now we have enough going on and my hormones are doing somersaults for Christ sake. I don't trust myself right now, I was crying at the sodding Golden Girls earlier for crying out loud!" He tried not to smile despite really wanting to at that last sentence, his mum had filled him in that she seemed to be quite emotional today so maybe this wasn't the best idea he's ever had but he wasn't giving up just yet./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYou always say that Lisa everytime this is brought up, we've got enough going on. We always will with a baby and work and everything else. Are you just never going to go into another relationship? I doubt it. Okay yes you've just had a baby and your emotions are a bit all over the place but be honest here, were you having the same feelings before you gave birth? I know you're scared but I think we deserve and need to take a chance." Sighing she tilts her head up once more, her eyes big with worry./em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYes...Yes I felt the same way before I had Peter, before I got pregnant if I'm honest as you want me to be. I use that 'excuse' as you call at as I'm scared, you're right but not for the reasons you think. We are in a good place right now and it's not just us that suffer if we try again and it goes wrong. We have a child to think of and it's for him that I'm not sure if we should take that step Andrew."br / "But surely he deserves to have both his parents together, not staying at yours through the week and mine every second weekend? With step-dads and step-mums." Shutting her eyes tight she rubs her head as she begins to answer. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emOh Andrew..."/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emNo Lisa listen to me. I love you okay? I've told you countless times I'm not here just for Peter I want the whole deal. You know that! But I can't do this will we won't we any longer." He interrupts wanting her to finally understand him. She goes quiet for a moment, staring at him not really knowing what to say. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYou love me?" He laughs, just a single laugh at her shock in his words. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYes surely you knew that by now?" Shaking her head she just didn't understand. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emBut why?" Leaning in slightly he takes both her hands into his, squeezing them softly. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emLove doesn't need a reason, you know that." She kept her eyes on his hands in hers, not really knowing what to say. /em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emDo I?"/em/span/p  
p style="font-weight: normal;"span style="color: #ff0066;""emYes..." Leaning in just a bit more he takes the plunge, they'd kissed before since breaking up but this time meant a lot more. His lips brushed hers and he half expected her to jump back but she doesn't she finally gives in to want she really wanted, despite the possible consequences. /em/span/p 


	47. Chapter 47

_As she stood before her floor length mirror she swept the cotton wool ball of cream over her face in an attempt to help her stressed and exhausted skin but she wasn't focussing on her own reflection, no she was more interested in Andrew lying in the bed behind her with their sleeping son spread out over his chest. Her long now red hair lay over her bare right shoulder as her nightie that only two weeks ago just fit now was hanging on her and Andrew couldn't help but notice._

" _That nightie is going to fall off you. Why you still wearing it?"_

" _Habit I guess. Plus it hides this." She pulls the nightie tight back to reveal her slightly podgy stomach which considering she was only one week post post-partum looked fantastic but to her it was massive._

" _Hides what? Christ Lisa you gave birth one week ago and there's barely anything there. You woman must have warped eyes when it comes down to your own figures. I hope you're not going to go on some silly diet." shaking his head at her he simply didn't understand women._

" _No you men are just blind. I'm not that stupid Andrew I need my energy to look after his nibs there." She continues to potter, brushing her slightly noted damp hair and placing a layer of foundation over her tired skin._

" _Good." He address his still sleeping son and smiles. "You need all the calories from mum you can get eh champ?"_

" _Oh." She spoke as she turned to face him, knowing he wasn't going to like this. "That's another thing. I'm swapping him onto the bottle permanently." Over the past two days she'd tried it out on Peter, claiming to Andrew just to test it out._

" _What? Why? You've barely given breast feeding a chance Lisa."_

" _I don't like it, I feel so heavy! You might like this" she refers to her swollen chest as she sits back on the bed next to him, still doing her make-up as she does. "But I don't it feels horrible anyway he's quite happy with a bottle." Sighing he couldn't say he agreed with her choice but that was just it, it was her decision to make not his._

" _Oh okay, it's your body your choice." Puzzled he watches her continue to place various powders and such across her face. "Are we going somewhere or something?"_

" _Too right it's my choice. Well bar the supermarket possibly no why?" Standing back up she heads to her wardrobe and begins to hunt through what he believed to be a mountain of clothes for one person but then their son had about double of what she had and why a baby needed so much clothes he didn't understand but then they hadn't bought most of it._

" _Then why all the make-up?" Her reply was thrown over her shoulder, she wasn't paying him much attention now she was too busy concentrating._

" _Your mum is coming over..." More confusion now, that made even less sense than before._

" _But mums seen you all week without make-up..." Men! Did she have to spell everything out to him?_

" _Exactly!" Rubbing his head he looks to his son almost as if hoping he'd have the answer but of course the newborn just remained sound asleep on his chest._

" _That makes no sense Lisa!"_

" _I don't want her to think I look like an exhausted slob all the time." Still not moving from the bed he shook his head, still confused, as she began to try on various outfits._

" _You've just given birth! She knows make-up and all that rubbish is not on your top list of priorities."_

" _I know that! But...Oh it's useless explaining it to you just go with me on his one." feeling defeated he sighs as she finally seems to pick something to wear._

" _I'll never understand you." Buttoning up the last of her top she twists and smiles at him glad he'd finally stopped moaning._

" _No...and that's the way I like it."_

 _It was some time later before Andrew finally got out of the comforts of bed, more used to the couch now so taking full advantage of a day off and the luxury of a proper place to sleep. Lisa was up long before him taking Peter with her to give him a proper chance to rest despite his protests and on finally getting up he'd discovered she'd been on some mass clean up operation or that's how it appeared. She was sat in Peters room the late morning sunlight shown through the window catching her red hair beautifully as she fed their tiny son._

" _I see someone has been busy, was the mass clean up for mum's benefit too?"_

" _Possibly...She does enough round here."_

" _You know full well she has no issue helping out, she likes helping." Staying stood in the doorway he leans against the door frame as she finishes feeding their son.  
"I know that but I need to or I'll fall to pieces when she goes." Ah now it was beginning to make more sense, she was worried as usual. Walking over to her he places an hand on her shoulder, trying to reassure her. _

" _Oh...But your mum is still here." Rolling her eyes she scoffs.  
"Pfft! Fat lot of help she'll be! Anyway I don't like relying on people."_

" _Oh we back to this again are we? Lisa..." As if on cue to save a war breaking out between them the door bell begins to go._

" _That'll be your mum go get it whilst I change Peter...Go on." She rises from her seat practically shooing him out the door._


	48. Chapter 48

_It was hard to believe her baby was already a month old, it had gone in so fast despite the lack of sleep which everyone told her would happen but she'd not quite believed them. It hardly sounds right does it? But somehow it's true._

 _Andrew was still living with her rather than his own flat which she didn't think he'd even set foot in since his parents left to go back to London nearly three weeks ago now, not that she really minded it was good to have help but every now and than she'd panic that everything was moving a little too fast for her. They'd gone from barely talking to practically living together in a matter of weeks that is scary for anyone not to mention they'd only just got back together. Then she'd see his face on seeing their son as he walked in the door and any worry melted away. She'd quickly become adapt to having a support system around her, something she'd never had before. She had to admit she missed his mum been around terribly right now but was in the habit of phoning nearly every day much to Andrews annoyance, something about his mother and Lisa been so close worried him although why she didn't know. She only wished they lived in Holby not London._

 _As for her own mother she'd seen considerably more of her than usual but then that wasn't hard as before Peter was born she only seen her two or three times a year so seeing her at least once a week felt like a heck of a lot which she didn't always like if she were honest, they were good at annoying each other after all, but it was hard to refuse her access to see her grandson as she so obviously was completely in love with him as she should be. But regardless of how much her mum adored Peter she was still angry at her for not been there for her when she really needed her it wasn't Megan and Andrew's mum she needed it was her own but as usual Kate had more important things to do. She knew she didn't help matters herself by completely refusing to let her mum know she did need her but then it was something she was used to doing. It didn't help that Kate and Andrew still didn't get on brilliantly not that anything was said as such but Duffy got the feeling this was as good as it was going to get. Kate disliked the fact he took so long to get his act together, despite the fact she'd taken his side before she met him and as for Andrew he couldn't warm to her at all more so the more he discovered about her and how little she'd been there for Lisa recently. Still at least she wouldn't be round today, not on a Sunday, she'd have gone as far as church and no further it was always her way but never Duffy's something that her mother couldn't quite understand but had given up arguing about years ago._

 _Flicking her hair round her back instead of over her chest before picking up her son she didn't want it annoying Peter or him eating it and before long he'd be grabbing it too. Dressed all in denim, even his little hat, she couldn't believe how adorable he looked although she knew he'd kill her for it as a teenager looking back at photos but oh well she had some time before all that. Heading into the living room where she'd left Charlie drinking a cup of coffee she was secretly glad Andrew was working until late today at least now she wouldn't be met with accusations of sleeping with her best friend. How anyone could think she was sleeping with Charlie was beyond her not that he wasn't attractive but they were friends, very close friends she'd give him that but nothing more than that and she was sure he felt the same way. Surely Andrew could see they'd known each other far too long not to have opened up about any feelings they had for each other? There simply wasn't any beyond love for each other in a friendship sense. Before she'd dated Andrew he'd attempted to set her up with more than one friend and she'd done the same. Shaking the thoughts out her mind she smiles at her friend before passing her son to his open arms._

" _Hello there trouble haven't you got big?" She smiles, taking the seat beside them both and gratefully sipping on her own coffee which she was once more running out of._

" _Oh don't I know it! He won't be fitting in that outfit much longer." Laughing he smiles at her, glad to see her so happy and relaxed something she'd hadn't been for a long time._

" _No I very much doubt it, you're lucky it's fitted him for this long." She nods in agreement as he takes a drink of his coffee before continuing his eyes on the infant asleep in one of his arms. "Anyway how are you? Got used to no sleep yet?" Smiling greatly she nods moving her hair to her other shoulder as she does so._

" _I'm fine, ah now that is the perk of working in Casualty I'm already used to surviving on no sleep although not for such a long time." If he'd learnt anything from knowing Duffy for so long it was to always ask a personal question twice changing how was worded._

" _Never thought of that, it's good for something then. So everything okay?"_

" _Yeah surprisingly enough it is. Yeah fine, I can't say I'm used to seen my mum so often I didn't expect her to get so into been a Granny or Nana as she insists apparently since she's still in her 40s she can't possibly be called Granny." As someone who was close to his own mother he struggled to imagine what Duffy did without that support or support from her father growing up but as far as he could tell it only made her stronger._

" _Took her long enough. But you can't expect her not to fall in love with him?"_

" _No I knew she'd adore him but she's always so busy with her own life. Still I guess the novelty will ware off soon enough." He shakes his head, not really that surprised that she was already expecting her mum to go back to her old ways._

" _You don't expect much from her do you?" She laughs a bit, accepting that it didn't look good. She couldn't say she blamed her mother really, she was young and entitled to her own life but sometimes she wished she was little more a part of it._

" _It's a Habit I don't think I'll get out of." Moving Peter's hat back on correctly he switches the infant into his other arm still refusing to pass him back to his mother._

" _Is she and Andrew getting on any better yet?"_

" _Ah! Not a chance they put up with each other and I think that's as good as I'm getting. Another coffee?"_


	49. Chapter 49

" _Hmm.." The not so soft crying coming from the bottom of the bed stirred them both from their sleep. "Your turn this time..."_

"" _Ugh it's was my turn last time..." Twisting her legs she forces herself up despite preferring the thought of getting more sleep and towards her crying son. "What's all the noise about eh?" Taking her small son in her arms he instantly quietens, mostly, as she glances towards her already sleeping partner. Hmm! It was alright for some! Deciding to just let him sleep rather than start a unfair night routine argument she heads towards the living room knowing all too well that Peter would only settle for another hour at best and it was hardly likely Andrew was going to get up with him._

 _It was some hours later before Andrew eventually got out of bed, once more taking advantage of a day off, he found Lisa slumped on armchair exhaustion having caught up with her half an hour ago. Their son was delighted with himself in the swing at her side, not feeling his mothers exhaustion in the slightest. Unhappy at how uncomfortable she looks he kneels in front of her and places both hands on her shoulders knowing she wasn't going to like this._

" _Lisa?" No answer. "Lisa? Love?" Shifting out of his hold she grumbles at him more annoyed with him that before._

" _Leave me alone.." Curling her legs under herself she turns her head away from him, needing desperately to go back to sleep._

" _Go back to bed love, come on."_

" _I can't..." Her eyes were still shut, not having the energy to open them. "Peter.."_

" _He'll be fine, come on your exhausted." Giving up he places his arms around her and despite her heavy protests picks her up taking her back to bed himself._

" _Put me down!" Her eyes were well and truly open now, clinging to him whilst still protesting. Why didn't he just leave her?_

 _Having taken a good ten minutes to convince Duffy to stay in her bed and that Peter would be fine for a few hours he was now flicking through the tv channels whilst considering to finish the housework Duffy had started but half way through his argument with himself he's distracted by someone banging on the front door, quickly jumping up he answers the door as fast he could since both Duffy and Peter were sound asleep at last. He didn't have time to think who he expected at the door but one thing was for sure he didn't expect it to be Kate and his face showed that._

" _Oh Kate, hello. Come in..." He moves from the door allowing her in he wasn't sure why he was so shocked she'd appeared she was round quite often but maybe it was due to the fact usually it was whilst he was at work which he'd assumed was due to the fact she hardly seen eye to eye._

 _Upon entering the flat, having quite flatly returned the Hello to Andrew, she glances around whilst obviously listening for sounds of her daughter or grandson and having come to the realisation that Lisa was not about to appear she quizzes him before venturing any further._

" _Where is Lisa? Is she alright?" Passing her in the hall he continues into the living room whilst quietly answering her knowing that if they spoke it the hall they'd waken Duffy._

" _She's asleep, come in here before we wake her." Glancing at her watch it was quite late in day for her to be asleep and quite unlike her but until she reaches the living room, closing the door behind her, she keeps quiet, for once._

" _Why? Is she ill? Lisa never sleeps late."_

" _She's fine, just exhausted Peter hasn't really been sleeping at nights it took me a while but I eventually convinced her to go back to bed." Smiling towards her he leaves out the small fact that hadn't really been helping her during the nights often using the excuse of work._

" _I bet that wasn't easy, Peter asleep too?"_

" _You can say that again she couldn't even keep her eyes open and still insisted arguing with me that she wasn't going to bed. Yeah he is but I doubt for much longer. How are you anyway Kate?"_

" _Now that sounds like her, stubborn. Do you want me to check on him before he cries and wakes her up?" He had to admit one thing he had noticed about Kate was how her daughter had most certainly picked up her act of avoiding questions she didn't wish to answer more so even the slightest personal question._

" _If you don't mind, knock yourself out." Leaving her to go to her grandson he really wasn't sure about Kate although he knew it was more he didn't understand her behaviour rather than anything else but then he was aware how little she thought of him which he really couldn't argue with her about._

 _Going into her grandsons nursery she softly shut the door behind her in the darkened room cautious not to wake her exhausted daughter up. On reaching Peter she smiles at the infant who'd obviously just woke up not yet alert enough to make too much noise. Placing her arms around the tiny baby she couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she cuddles him close to her chest despite how outraged she was with her daughter for getting pregnant out of wedlock it didn't help that she is only in her forties herself far too young to be a grandmother in her mind but who cared now? He was here and she wouldn't have it any other way, not that she'd let Lisa know that. Realising she'd been gone longer than she needed to be she begins to head out the room, chatting to Peter as she left._

" _Lets go make sure your dad has your bottle on hmm?"_


	50. Chapter 50

p class="" style="text-align: center;" /p  
p class="" style="text-align: center;"emHer hair was flung over one shoulder with her eyes firmly on the sleeping baby in her arms to the point she hadn't even heard him enter the flat never mind the room, if she'd been given another ten minutes he was pretty convinced she'd be just as sound asleep as Peter currently was. Judging purely on his sons current routine he would guess she'd been up three hours already and it had only just gone 8am but he could be wrong, babies don't stay on routines for very long at this stage or rather his son didn't. Walking forward at last his voice was soft due to a mixture of not wanting to scare her and been quite exhausted himself thanks you just finishing a night shift./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emLisa?" She reacted slowly, turning her head sleepily towards the voice before realising who it was. It could have anyone standing there and she'd have barely reacted thanks to exhaustion./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emOh. Sorry. I didn't hear you come in. How was your shift?" Tucking her hair behind her ear he leans down and kisses her, becoming more and more convinced she would not be awake much longer quite like himself./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emDon't worry about it. Ah fine,nothing out of the usual. Bad night?" Rubbing her shoulder softly he sits next to her hoping to convince her to come to bed. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;"emShe leans her head into him, trying to convince herself to move and get the housework done. "Hmm could say that, someone didn't feel like sleeping at all." Placing his arm around her shoulder he smiles softly as his eyes stayed fixed on Peter oh so peaceful in his mothers arms./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emCome on, back to bed you need the rest." Her head still against his shoulder she shakes it, disagreeing knowing it wouldn't help./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emHmm...don't tempt me Andrew, there is far to much housework to be done if I go back to bed I'll never get it done." Scoffing he holds her closer, knowing she needed to sleep./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emStuff the housework, come on you haven't slept." Determined she moves out of his hold and gets to her feet. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emI can't, Megan will be round soon. Go to bed Andrew you've been up god knows how many hours." Glancing towards her, he sighs knowing she won't listen but decides to give it one more attempt anyway. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emCome on Lisa, I'm sure she'll understand." Getting to his feet himself he takes the sleeping baby from her arms and tries to direct her to the bedroom. "You know you need more sleep." /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emNo, I'll be fine. I'll catch up on sleep tomorrow, now on you go to bed." She begins to head towards the kitchen as Andrew sighs once more, defeated, and turns into the bedroom giving into his exhaustion whilst wondering how she was still going. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;"emA little under an hour later, not to mention threes cups of coffee later, she'd managed to clean the kitchen but her failing energy levels had decided the living room would just have to wait plus if Andrew woke to find the whole flat spotless he'd most certainly loose his temper with her. Yawning she attempts to tell herself to get a grip just as the soft knocking begins to come from the front door, Megan. With fourth cup of coffee in her hand,hoping it would be enough to carry her through the day, she heads to answer the door to Megan hoping the boys wouldn't wake. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;"emFollowing the younger woman into the kitchen she'd politely refused a cup of coffee and tea from her already noticing just how tired she was but knew better than to mention it, not to mention what new mum wasn't exhausted? Joining Duffy at the kitchen table she smiles as she once more refuses a drink./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emReally Duffy, I'm fine I promise. How is Peter? Keeping you up all night still?" Sighing she half smiles as she glances up towards Megan, trying to remember the last time she got a proper nights / "Hmm, is it that obvious? He's fine sound asleep now just not so keen on sleeping at night." Grinning she had to admit she didn't miss those sleepless nights with her own sons and quite enjoyed seeing her eldest struggle through it with his own children now as evil as that sounded. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emHe will grow out of it, eventually. I promise but it doesn't help right now. Where is Andrew? Working?" She glanced around the room as she spoke as if she was waiting for him to suddenly appear from the hall despite not knowing if he was even in the flat. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emNo I know. Oh no he's asleep too, he's on nights right now." Her face fell and voice dropped to almost a whisper./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emOh am I disturbing the peace then?" Scoffing she shakes her head, keeping her volume as it was before. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emDon't be silly Megan he normally is sleeping through Peter screaming the place down, don't worry about it." Something in her voice worried her she knew it was most likely just exhaustion but something said to Megan that Andrew was helping out as much as he should. /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emDoes he not help with Peter much then?" Finishing her coffee Duffy shakes her head quickly realising how that must of sounded./em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emOh he does, I didn't mean it like that. It's just with him on nights right now it's not easy and if I'm honest it's making me dread returning to work."/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emI can imagine. You don't need to think about that just yet surely? You only just had him!"/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emI've been off three months Megan at the most I've got another three left I really don't know how much longer I can stay off. I need the money."/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emDon't rush back love. Surely with Andrews wage you are alright?"/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emI don't take money from him Megan! He has his own flat to pay for, which I know he barely uses. He pays towards stuff for Peter but that's all."/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emBut he practically lives here Duffy surely he should pay towards the rent?"/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emWe've not discussed it. He's not here as much as you think, 60% of the time he's at work or something to do with work. I can hardly expect him to pay half of everything for sleeping here and cups of coffee can I?"/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emI will never understand you two you know that don't you?"/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emThis works for us right now. We're only just starting to work out out relationship without adding living arrangements on top it." /em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emAh so you've finally given up saying your not back together at last?"/em/p  
p class="" style="font-weight: normal;""emHmm..Maybe."/em/p 


	51. Chapter 51

_Her son was in one arm, his nappy bag around her shoulder and her handbag and car keys in the other bag to anyone who seen they'd assume she was just running late, time keeping was never a strong point of hers, and they weren't wrong but it was more than that, she was completely dreading today. Deciding to push through her dread she begins to head out the flat, hoping she hadn't forgotten anything. Her long hair flung side to side as she rushed down the stairs already running half an hour late before even hitting the traffic, today was not going well. Andrew had tried to tell her she didn't need to do this but she wasn't relying on him or even taking a penny from him, she didn't have a choice._

 _He hadn't expected her to be on time, she was bad enough before coming mum, not that she was late often but when she wasn't working he just knew her well enough not to expect her for at least half an hour later than originally she'd told him. It was just short of a hour after their agreed time that he heard a knock on the office door before her figure wandered in, swinging round in his chair he grinned before looking for a missing figure._

" _Hello there...Where is Peter?" He quizzed her before jokingly remarking "You didn't forget him did you?"_

" _Hello, this is a work meeting you know Charlie not a play date with Peter." She rolls her eyes before placing herself on the chair next to him, leaving him for a moment further before explaining the absence of her son. "Half your staff have kidnapped him from me, he's in admin."  
"I really should have guessed that. I hope you've told Andrew your were coming here today, he'll have a heart attack if he walks down and sees half the department with him."_

" _Yes you should have known." She laughs, picturing the look on her partners face if that had happened. "Of course he knows, I'm not that bad you know. Anyway I'm not hear to discuss Peter and Andrew."_

" _Oh so focussed as usual I see. Okay I'll stop distracting the conversation then."_

 _Back in admin he knew roughly what time she was going to be in the department and tried to time his break around the time he thought he would catch her but as he entered the department he discovered half the nursing staff fighting, in hushed whispers as not to wake him, over who's turn it was to cuddle Peter next they were all so focussed on him they hadn't even spotted him walk up to them, laughing._

" _Got all the girls fighting over you already eh Pete?" All their heads sprung up on hearing his voice behind them and as expected it was Megan who was first to answer him as she held the sleeping tot close to her chest._

" _Of course he does. If your looking for Duffy she's still talking to Charlie." He got a few "he's so adorable" type comments before they all went their separate ways leaving just the three of them alone. Knowing Megan would more and likely know the answer to the real reason he was down here he quizzes her as he takes a desperately needed seat._

" _Did she still seem stressed out?" Scoffing she nods her head, worried about this herself but not wanting to share her opinion on it she keeps it short and to the point._

" _Very." Sighing he keeps his eyes on his sleeping son, still none of the wiser when it came to the tots mother._

" _To be honest I don't understand why she's rushing back." Trying to bite her tongue on the situation, or what she knew of it she replies simply trying not to pass judgement._

" _I said the same thing, all I got was she needed the money."_

" _Oh don't go there. I got the same response from her." He sensed something in the tone of her voice and the look on her eyes that she was judging him incorrectly so can't help but add "I know what your thinking Megan but I have tried to discuss money with her, she doesn't want to hear it." Shaking her head she tries to reassure him slightly._

" _I told you before Andrew she won't be told and won't take anything from you. I've already tried to get that you are here and she doesn't need to rush back for money reasons but she was having none of it."_

" _Thanks for trying anyway. Maybe one day she'll listen to me." Smiling she shakes her head once more.  
"I very much doubt it. But speak of the devil and he's sure to appear." Nodding behind him she passes the sleeping baby to him before he turns to face Duffy. "I'll speak to you before you go Duffy, I best go do some work."_

" _Hello, didn't expect to see you right now." Moving Peter into his other hand he smiles._

" _I thought I'd try and catch you, see how it went. So what's Charlie saying? Has he talked sense into you then?" Groaning she wasn't up to his fight once more, she'd just got it from Charlie she didn't need it from Andrew again._

" _Oh ha ha. I'm back next week." Shocked he stares at her for a moment before finally answering it, his voice slightly raised._

" _Next week?! That's bloody quick." Ignoring his concern she frowns._

" _Shh, you'll wake Peter."_

" _Jesus Lisa, your not ready to come back, he's not even two months old yet. What about childcare?" Rolling her eyes she felt like she was repeating herself, had they not had this conversation with him numerous times already? Men!_

" _We've already discussed this Andrew. I thought you were okay with that child minder we tried out last week?" His faces falls, not completely comfortable with someone they didn't know looking after their son not that Duffy was any more comfortable about than he was._

" _The guy? I guess...I just didn't think you'd go through with this."_

" _Do you still not understand me?"_

" _Of course I don't and that is the way you like it, don't pretend otherwise." Laughing she couldn't even pretend that wasn't true._


	52. Chapter 52

_His nose was firmly stuck in the paper as she swayed around the room attempting to sooth their grumpy son she was just about to leave the room as so Andrew could read his paper in peace when he called her over._

" _Lisa? Come see this." There was excitement in his voice, she assumed it was either some new medical brake through or something political that had caught his eye it usually was but not today._

 _Half an hour later Peter was fast asleep once more, she'd had a quick shower and was about to dry her hair but her head was elsewhere, always was these days. She'd been back at work for two weeks and had to admit it was a lot harder than she'd expected it to be. Trusting someone else, someone she didn't completely know to look after Peter was more difficult than she'd thought then every time a baby was brought in, which was thankfully not too often, her heart raced and head spun with fear of what she'd do in that situation. Work wasn't the same anymore but rather than resent it or wish to quit it made her want to do her job all the more. Still for once her head wasn't on Peter, work or getting the balance between the two right, no today it was on Andrew._

 _It was quite a while before she appeared again, her hair done, make-up on and dressed,her fitted high waisted light jeans clung to her shrinking figure whilst her loose black top fell off her right shoulder. She entered the living room just in time to see Andrew place the phone back down, looking slightly caught out. She smiled until she seen the look on his face, he was wary not to make decisions without her and may have taken one step too far._

" _Andrew? What are you up to?" Her eyes were full of suspicion, arms folded and face tilted._

" _Now don't get upset I just was on the phone arranging just a viewing." Sighing she knew she should have expected this, he wasn't the type to casually suggest moving and leave it for a while was he?_

" _On the house in the paper? I haven't agreed to anything yet Andrew!" His arms shoot up as if she had a gun to his head, knowing how quickly this conversation to go wrong._

" _I know, don't worry. I just thought a viewing of the house would help us decide. There's no tricks it's just a look." She still didn't look sure, side glancing at him as she heads for her coffee._

" _Just a look...Okay. Don't get your hopes up or anything." Smiling he begins to get his shoes on, having got dressed hours ago whilst Lisa was still trying to calm Peter down._

" _I'm not, I promise." Her eyes narrowed, curious as to where he was going when it hit her._

" _When is the viewing then?" He bit his lip as he answered this next question, trying to avoid her gaze.  
"2pm." She let out a loud sigh and folded her arms once more frustrated by his lack of sense._

" _That's in an hour!"_

" _Yeah, well it's just gone on the market so it wasn't hard. Plus we are both working the next few days." Coffee still in her hand she begins to head out of the room._

" _Oh you are a complete nightmare you are! I'll go get Peters things ready, you get him ready and please don't wake him up."_

 _Surprisingly they'd managed to make it on time to the viewing, just. Peter was still asleep in the pram as the approached the door, they house was quite grand looking a large tree in the front garden it was cut off from the street, peaceful. The woman that met them at the door had medium length dark hair pulled back tightly she seemed the dedicated career type, the type that judged woman who didn't work or even worse who chose to have kids and a career. Duffy knew she was probably reading her wrong but the way she looked her up and down and flashed a fake smile at her and Peter told her she was judging the woman just didn't know what category Lisa fell into. A working mother or stay at home mother? Shaking her own judgement out of head she allowed Andrew to introduce them both to her, and Peter as she introduced herself as Carolyn Winters before inviting them both inside._

 _Standing at the bottom of the large winding stair case it certainly wasn't the best with a young child running around but then there was stair gates she supposed. She couldn't argue with Andrew, the house was stunning, full of character and a fair few more bedrooms that she expected. A proper family home a far cry from her tiny flat or even his average sized one. She'd left Andrew to discuss details with Ms Winters, ones she wasn't particularly interested in as she wandered around a bit more. Finding herself back up stairs she glanced around the master bedroom, having left Peter with his father downstairs. She was wary not to get carried away, she doubted even between the both of them they could afford this house and what if they broke up and year down the line? Neither of them could afford any house of this size alone with a child._

 _Pushing the pram back and forth hoping to settle Peter Andrew was slightly ahead thanking Ms Winters for her time, promising they'd get back to her after they'd had time to talk. She'd given up pushing the pram by the time he got back to her and instead had him in her arms._

" _So what do you think then?"_

" _I don't like that woman, I'll tell you that much."_

" _That's not what I asked and you know it. I won't bother asking why you don't like her, I'm sure I won't understand. So again what do you think?"_

" _I know that's not what you meant." A large smile appears over her face as she cuddles Peter close. "I like it. I really like it."_


End file.
